Japanese Pie
by KitKat8
Summary: *IT'S OVER!* Here are the notes that I promised and a lil' sneek peak of the upcoming Japanese Pie 2!!! Yay!!!
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own RK or American Pie. Please don't sue me, I am low on money right now and I am a poor fourteen year old girl. Please don't sue me and make me cry.

  
  


Prologue  
  


Yahiko squinted at the TV screen in front of him, trying to make his eyes focus on the two people having sex on the inappropriate Playboy channel he had discovered only mere months ago. It had easily become his favorite channel. He could barely make out anything in front of him, but he saw just enough so that Mr. Happy could pop up and say hello. He kept the volume down as low as he could make it and still be able to hear so that he wouldn't disturb his grandpa nearby. Okina was downstairs, where he usually was late at night, most likely watching some kind of late night talk show. 

Yahiko didn't like the idea of Okina finding out what exactly he was watching so he kept a tame nature channel on his call back button, just in case his grandpa came in for a late night check up on him. He wasn't taking any chances. A soft knock at his door made Yahiko jump and grab for the remote, having to let go of ahem something else and quickly changed the channel to the nature show. His grandfather, Okina, poked his head in and whispered something to Yahiko with a strange grin on his face.

"Psst... Turn your TV to channel eleven," Okina whispered, a hand covering his mouth a little bit. He closed the door silently and his soft footsteps disappeared into the distance. Yahiko tilted his head to the left at the weird suggestion and his eyes widened. 'Channel eleven!' Yahiko thought frantically, 'That's the porn channel I was just watching!!!' He gulped back and turned back towards the closed door where Okina had just left and shuddered. He didn't even wanna know what exactly his sixty-nine year old grandpa really was watching late at night, since what Yahiko was thinking about was just plain disturbing! He crawled under the covers, no longer in the mood to watch the all too familiar 'mating ritual' on TV anymore. He switched off the TV and placed his head softly down on the pillow, his mind still flooding with...well what else?


	2. Fool Proof Plan

Disclaimer: I don't own RK or the song by Hoobastank, "Crawling in the Dark." so no Johnny Cochran stuff, okay?

  
  


Chapter 1:

"Fool Proof Plan"  
  


Kenshin, Yahiko, and Sanosuke all sat around their usual dining table at the Akabeko, drinking their sodas, and chowing down on extra large burgers, they all agreed that a meal at the Akabeko was indeed the best, whether it be dinner, lunch or even breakfast. Right now, it was afterschool, Friday night, and all of them were discussing Saito's party which was going to take place in about two hours. None of them liked Saito since he was a total jerk, but they usually got invited to his parties anyway, being that they kiss some major ass beforehand. His parties were where all the chicks went on Friday nights and wherever the girls went, the guys were sure to follow, no matter how much ass-kissing was required. Even Kenshin went to Saito's parties on occasions that he insisted that he had nothing else to do. 

Kenshin cleared his throat and took out his breath spray, spraying it onto his tongue more than the amount suggested on the side of the bottle and he made a disgusted face. Sickened, he stuck out his tongue at the fowl taste and Sanosuke burst out laughing, disrupting everyone else in the restaurants' meal. Yahiko sighed. Kenshin wasn't going to be there at the party tonight; him and his fool-proof plan about finally getting a girl was a little skeptical to Yahiko, but he kept his mouth shut. Not like he was getting any farther then Kenshin was on the base scale anyway. Sanosuke was, as usual, bragging about his own plans for a night with the ladies. 

"Yeah, good luck with that one, Sano," Yahiko scoffed, rolling his eyes at his friend's impudence. Sanosuke was the only one of the three that had actually gotten farther then second base with a girl, so to him, Sanosuke found himself superior.

"What? It's gonna happen!" Sanosuke said, defending his plan, "You just know those little goody goody Christian school chicks are gonna be crawlin' all over me! They're cooped up all day with nuns! They've got to be horny as hell!"

Kenshin rolled his eyes. It was bad enough that Sanosuke had gotten farther with women then Yahiko and he did, but just the fact that he had to find himself better than them at just about everything else was just straight out irritating. Sanosuke thought he had everything figured out when, in reality, he didn't even understand all parts of long division; let alone the world.

"That may be true, Sano, but I don't think they're going to run after the first guy they see," Kenshin said, trying to be sensible, but Sanosuke only got defensive.

"What are you trying to say, Kenshin? What, you think that they wouldn't just kill for a stud like me?" Sanosuke asked angrily, getting very annoyed by his friends' lack of faith.

"Stud?!" Yahiko practically scoffed with a prodigious grin on his face, "I don't see any stud here... If anything, she'll probably throw some holy water in your face and expect you to melt! I can just see it now: 'Ah! It's the Devil!' The poor girl will probably run out and get herself blessed or something, go into confession or whatever."

"I really doubt that she'd go run to get herself blessed," Sanosuke argued, no longer offended, after all, it was only Yahiko, his opinion wasn't the one that counted at the moment, "well... not in that particular area of the body anyway..."

Kenshin and Yahiko fell silent. This was one of those areas of talk that they didn't have any idea about and also the sole subject that Sanosuke found himself an expert on. He loved to bring up the fact that he knew about touching a girl, when and where, and he brought it up as often as possible, just to rub it in their faces. Looks like this was another one of those times. Kenshin pretended not to be interested in the topic, but it was easy to see that his ears were slightly perked in Sanosuke's direction. 

"Hey, uh... Sano?" Yahiko said, lifting his hand a bit in question.

"Hm?" Sanosuke asked, leaning back in his chair, hands behind his head, only looking at his friends with his eyes half closed, a satisfied smile on his face. He knew it was one of those times where he would just have to sit back, relax, and bask in his "expert-on-women" glory.

"What does third base feel like?" Yahiko asked and this time, Kenshin couldn't hide his interest as he straightened up and leaned forward to hear his answer. Sanosuke's smile grew wider and he closed his eyes fully, putting two fingers up in the air for display.

"Like warm apple pie," he replied. Both Yahiko and Kenshin nodded their heads to show they understood and Kenshin curiously tried to copy the strange thing Sanosuke was doing with his fingers, turning them over so he could examine what it was he was doing. Sanosuke opened his eyes again to see his two friends imitating him and his hand gesture and he laughed out loud.

"You guys are hopeless!" Sanosuke said as he picked up his jacket and stood from his seat, stretching a bit before he spoke again, "Well, I gotta go pick up my date now. Kenshin, good luck with the club hopping, man. Yahiko... uh... change your shirt. See you guys later!" 

He waved and left the diner, leaving Yahiko and Kenshin still at the table. Kenshin was still trying to imitate the hand position when Yahiko slapped his hand down impatiently, finally noticing all the questioning stares they kept receiving with Kenshin's odd "experimenting."

"Dude, cut it out!" Yahiko said as Kenshin rubbed his throbbing hand, "I gotta get to Saito's party before Yumi leaves and you've gotta get to the club. Wish me luck!"

With God-like speed, Kenshin grabbed Yahiko's wrist and spun him around, saying, "Yahiko, I think Sanosuke's right, that I do. Maybe you should change your shirt." 

Yahiko growled intolerantly and grumbled under his breath, but agreed anyway. He didn't want to look like an idiot in front of Yumi tonight; knowing that she would be at the party tonight was his whole reason for going. That, and also that nice girl in his Chemistry class that he got partnered up with sometimes. 'What was her name again?' he thought to himself, 'Tsubame, I think... Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was it.' Tsubame worked at the Akabeko sometimes, but tonight she was most likely at Saito's party already. Yahiko shook his head to get the girl out of his mind and his thoughts drifted back to Yumi. Yumi was who he found a lot more attractive anyway. She was his 'ultimate goal' for the night and if his friends thought he looked stupid in the shirt he was wearing now, there was a high chance of Yumi thinking that too. Yahiko decided to go home first, change his shirt, and then head over to the party. Not like changing his shirt was going to take anymore then five minutes anyway.

"Alright, I'll see you later, Kenshin!" Yahiko said and he bolted out the door. He didn't want to waste any precious time he could be sharing with Yumi right this very moment. He had already wasted two minutes talking with Kenshin and he wasn't about to throw away anymore. 'Go home, change shirt, go to party, see Yumi...' Yahiko chanted in his head, 'Yup! Sounds like a good plan to me!'  
  


Meanwhile, back in Sanosuke's car, he had picked up his date, Sayo Magdaria, the previously mentioned Christian goody-goody, and they were now parked at Make-out Point. Since Sayo wasn't exactly familiar with places like these, she was completely unaware of Sanosuke's intentions on their, as she called it, 'outing' together. Innocently, she smiled, not even looking at him as she watched the stars from the passenger seat of his car, never noticing the way her "date" wasn't particularly interesting in the sky at all, but more in having a staring contest with her breasts. Sano continuously tried to make a move, but it was a bit difficult to do so when she kept talking about all her boring prayer stuff. He rolled his eyes for what seemed to be the fifth time that night when she wasn't looking, wishing on a shooting star that she would just shut her mouth, but hell, that wishing stuff never comes true! Sayo continued talking and Sanosuke had to use all his willpower to keep his head upright and try not to fall asleep. He doubted she would even notice if he nodded off a bit since she really wasn't paying attention to him anyway.

Finally, she stopped talking, after what seemed to be days on end of non-stop religious chatter and she turned to watch the stars again. 'Haha! Now, time to make my move!' Sanosuke thought to himself, biting back a malevolent snicker as he pretended to yawn and put his arm behind the head support of her chair. Sayo didn't seem to notice and Sanosuke took this as a good sign. In one quick movement, he pounced on her, pushing her down against the seat of the chair with his body, and she yelped at the unexpected action. He lay on top of her, trying his best to plant a kiss on her mouth, but she smacked him across the face, pushing him off of her in an eternal struggle. He drew back after the slap as it continued to sting his face and she pushed him away again. Sputtering and still in shock, Sayo climbed out of the car, pulling her little school girl cardigan tighter around her body to cover herself from his lingering eyes. She angrily pointed a finger at him, rage flaring in her eyes.

"I forbid you to leave this car!" she screamed at him, causing Sanosuke to give her a confused look, "That is not how you treat women! You need to respect them, you don't just try and... well... you know... on the first date! It's preposterous! No woman likes to be treated like a toy! You... you... you perverted brute!!!" 

At that, she stomped off towards the top of the hill, muttering to herself about how many Hail Mary's she would have to recite for this and she wrapped her cardigan closer to her body to keep out the harsh cold of the night air, praying to God that He forgive the man she had just yelled at. 

Sanosuke watched her disappear into the distant cover of the hilltop and he casually just shrugged his shoulders like nothing had happened. It really was no big loss, she wasn't all that cute anyways, especially when she slapped him, that wasn't too cool. Putting the key in the ignition, he started up his car and turned on the radio, one of his favorite songs playing on the first station he turned to. Pulling out of the parked area, Sanosuke sang along to the song as he headed over to Saito's party, his last and only resort if all else failed.

Show me what it's for, make me understand it,

I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer,

Is there something more? Then what I've been handed?

I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer.

  
  


A/N: A big congrats for those of you who remember the lines Sayo originally uses in the actual series when she calls Sanosuke a brute and forbids him to leave the room, I just kinda changed it around a bit so that it fit in with the story. Also, as another note, this does have K/K and S/M and just a tad of Y/T and S/T. Sorry, no A/M, it doesn't go along with the story so a bunch of apologies to Aoshi fans because he's not exactly in this fic. Please wait until Japanese Pie 2 to see him. Yes, I'm making a sequel. And also, expect to see Yahiko get embarrassed at least once every chapter! P.S. there will be pie!


	3. Ultimate Goal

Disclaimer: I don't own RK or American Pie and I don't know who does so please don't ask.  
  


Chapter 2:

"Ultimate Goal"  
  


Yahiko discreetly searched the room for Yumi's bright purple hair, scanning his eyes over the crowd, but he didn't see anything close to her violet shade. He sighed out loud, beer in hand, and walked around looking for someone to talk to. He hadn't done anything since he arrived and he wasn't really sure what he was supposed to do. He hadn't been to too many of Saito's parties and he hadn't the slightest idea of where everything was. Suddenly, a flash of purple caught his eye and he turned back to where it was. Yup, it was Yumi alright, Yahiko memorized every little detail about her, and he could recognize her pretty smile anywhere. 

Nervously, he took a huge gulp of his beer, half for some kind of way to clear up his mind and half so it could ease the dry feeling in his cotton-filled mouth, and he made his way over to the beautiful girl of his dreams. She was standing with her friends, her green lipstick curving with her mouth to form a smile, a mouth Yahiko yearned to kiss, and he paused to think of what the next step would be after actually approaching her. 'Okay, okay, now you're gonna go over there and say hi and then...' Yahiko stopped his train of thought, realizing he didn't know what to say after hi, 'uh... and then you can say... you can say: "You look really pretty today, Yumi! Not that you don't look pretty everyday or anything like that..." You are such an idiot, Yahiko. You can say: "Some party huh?" That is so lame! Okay, fine, just play it as it comes... here we go... Remember to breathe.'

Yahiko slowly took a few steps towards her, summing up all his courage as he tried to hold his head up high, and try not to look like a complete idiot. Yumi stood by herself, moving a little to the music in the background, and looking around the house for something interesting to do. Yahiko was so distracted with watching her, he didn't notice a foot placed in front of him until it was too late. Before he could predict his doom, Yahiko let out a tiny yelp and tripped over, falling face first on the floor right in front of Yumi. A guy Yahiko knew from Drama class named Shishio laughed hysterically at him, pointing at his mangled body on the ground and holding his stomach with his free hand. Yahiko looked up to see Yumi smiling at him, or maybe smiling at the embarrassing predicament he was in, he wasn't sure which, either way the crimson color didn't stop from going to his cheeks and he quickly turned away. But, when he looked back, she was gone.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Shishio said, shaking his head at Yahiko in disapproval, "You really should just forget all about Yumi, Yahiko. It's sad that you never realized such obvious things. Don't you think she's a little out of your league?" This earned more red to succumb to Yahiko's cheeks, but this time, it was from anger. After verbally kicking Yahiko when he was down, literally, Shishio straightened up and left Yahiko on the floor so he could go pick up where Yahiko left off with Yumi. As soon as his back was turned and he was sure he couldn't see him, Yahiko gave him the finger and rolled his eyes.

"Are you alright?" a girl's voice came as gentle arms slid to his, helping him up from where he fell.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. I was just..." Yahiko stopped talking when he came face to face with Tsubame, the other girl he was practically in love with, and he stammered in his response, "Ikjghjhkjhgfjdhjhjfhgjhgjh....kjhgjhiuwoeiowlnjnas..." Tsubame smiled at his effort at correct speech and laughed a bit. Yahiko nervously laughed too, just so he wouldn't look any stupider.

"Well, if you're sure you're alright," Tsubame said, flashing him a beautiful smile, "I'll see you later. Be careful next time okay? Bye!" Before Yahiko could say anything, she left, turning on her heel and headed in the opposite direction. Automatically, his feet dragged him to follow her and he bumped right into Sanosuke, who had just arrived.

"Sanosuke? What are you doing here?" Yahiko asked just as Kenshin stepped up from behind his taller friend, his head down in shame, "Kenshin? What happened to the fool proof plan?"

"Well, I got the club address wrong, that I did," Kenshin replied, his violet eyes no longer with their familiar twinkle, "I spent most of the time trying to find the right address and when I actually did find the right place, it was empty, so no ladies left..."

"Well, Sayo didn't run off screaming that I was the Devil of anything, but she did run off," Sanosuke answered sheepishly, remembering the earlier events of tonight, "it's okay though, she wasn't really my type anyway... She said that I wasn't suppose to screw the girl on the first date or some kind of shit like that. If you ask me, she wasn't worth the effort."

"Then you're in the same boat as me then," Yahiko concluded, completely forgetting about his following of Tsubame to thank her, and he waved off his friend's questions of what happened with Yumi, "Come on, let's go get some more beer." All three walked over to the kitchen to the keg, their number one source of comfort, and poured themselves plenty of the cold drink to drown away their bad moods. Kenshin was able to take down a few swigs when Saito came over, cigarette hanging from his mouth, as always, and stood beside them.

"So when are you boys gonna finally get some action?" Saito asked, a big smirk on his face that Sanosuke wanted to punch right off, "How's the weather in No Fucking Town, huh? Population: you guys!" Saito burst out laughing and fumes started to rise from Kenshin's nostrils as he narrowed his eyes until they were just about the size of Saito's. "Now, where's that little... Ah, there she is! Hey, Tokio, what's up?" Saito walked away then, bringing an extra beer for the pretty choir girl close by. Her face brightened when she saw him and Sanosuke, Kenshin, and Yahiko watched closely to observe just how exactly Saito worked his "magic." Within minutes, the girl was laughing and smiling, and all three of their audience members watched in horror as Saito led her upstairs. To their surprise, Tokio went willingly, not even one kick or scream.

"I see it's just a good night for some kink, eh?" Chou said, suddenly appearing beside Yahiko and the other two observers as they all watched Saito close the bedroom door behind him, "I know I got my lucky stars shinin' down on me tonight..." At that, Chou nodded his head with a cocky simper and a suspicious glint in his eyes.

"What do you mean by that?" Sanosuke asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he turned his attention to the broom-headed man next to him. He was highly curious as to what Chou meant by lucky stars. 'He couldn't possibly think that he's gonna score tonight...' Sano thought, 'Who the hell would screw him?!' Chou nodded his head in the direction of a pretty blue haired girl in the corner of the room talking with her friends.

"See her?" Chou asked and all three nodded, "That's Kamatari. Well, it's her lucky night, boys, 'cause here comes, The Chou-inator. She is so hot!" Chou gave a pat on Kenshin's back as he made his way over to the girl, strutting all the way over there with a stride that definitely didn't suit him. He confidently tapped Kamatari on the shoulder to get her attention and she turned around. Chou began talking with her for about a good five minutes, saying something they all guessed had to be pretty smooth because the girl nodded and followed him up the steps to one of the rooms upstairs. Before following her to one of the empty bedrooms, Chou turned back to Kenshin, Yahiko, and Sanosuke and gave them a knowing smile, taking in the surprised looks on their faces and then turned around and headed up the steps in a hurry after Kamatari, who had already been sitting down on the bed when Chou closed the door.

"Whoa! Okay, Chou is not scoring before I do!" Sanosuke protested and he kicked a nearby table, "If he does, I'm gonna get so damn mad! That's it! I'm going out to the back porch and I'm gonna play the first woman I see!" A little too scared to argue with him while he was angry, Kenshin and Yahiko watched him stalk off towards the back, opening the sliding door as he let himself out. Yahiko shrugged at their friend's behavior and told Kenshin he'd be right back.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Yahiko said and he waved to Kenshin before heading upstairs. 'Man, so many hotties around and no time to satisfy...' Yahiko thought with a shake of his head, 'I gotta go choke the lizard... Where the hell is the bathroom?' 

Upon finding an open door, Yahiko pushed the door in a little more before stepping inside. 'Damn it!' Yahiko thought as closed the door, 'There's no lock on this thing! Okay, better hurry up, man, before someone sees you.' Yahiko paused first, looking around for some kind of lubricant only to find something even better.

"Duuuude!" Yahiko exclaimed as he pulled out a few dirty magazines from underneath the sink, "Now that's even better!" He quickly hurried about, pushing the trash can in front of the door so that no one could come in unless they gave it a really good push and he went back to the magazines displayed on the sink counter. "Hello Ladies!!!"

Saito's sister, Kaoru, emerged from her room, finally realizing that it was just useless trying to sleep with all the noise downstairs and she groggily walked down the hall. She rubbed her sleepy eyes a little bit, trying to adjust to the light when she heard a tiny noise coming from the bathroom. 'What in the world...?' she thought as she went closer to inspect if the sound really was coming from her brother's bathroom. She could hear someone talking softly inside, but she couldn't really make out what they were saying. Something along the lines of: "Oh yeah..." A little curious, Kaoru knocked on the door to alert the person inside.

"Uh... hello?" Kaoru called, uncertain of what to say, "Is there someone in there?"

"One minute!" Yahiko yelled from inside, a little preoccupied with doing something else with his hands to be able to open the door. After the minute was up and the person inside made no move as to opening the door, Kaoru knocked again, a little less patient this time.

"Hey! What's going on in there? Why are you taking so long?" Kaoru asked. She really had to pee and this guy, whoever he was, wasn't making her bladder feel any better.

"Get lost, Ugly!" Yahiko shouted from inside, getting impatient with her as well. Kaoru was taken aback by the man's rude assumption of her, her patience finally reaching it's end. She glared at the door and pounded her fist on it this time, not at all considering being polite to one of her brother's guests.

"What'd you call me?! Get out here this minute! Get out of my bathroom right now!" she screamed as she continued to rattle the door with her slams, "You come out of there this instant or I'll go in there myself and throw you out!"

"Oh shit!" Yahiko exclaimed and he hurriedly pulled his pants back up, placing the cup filled with his... uh... yeah... aside and he frantically searched for an escape route. There was no way he was going to go out there and face that annoying girl outside, she sounded angry enough to kill, and he wasn't about to die a virgin. At last, he spotted a window over the shower head and he stepped up on the toilet to reach the hinges. Ignoring the insistent yelling coming outside the bathroom, he opened the window just wide enough for him to squeeze through and he jumped out right before the girl barged in. 

Yahiko fell onto the lawn, rolling around for a while before getting up and running to the front door. He knocked so hard it seemed like the Devil himself had been chasing him and to his surprise and embarrassment, Tsubame opened the door. She gave him a quelling look as she looked him over and Yahiko remembered that he barely had his pants back on and that he was holding them up by the waist. He gave her a distressed grin and she let him back inside, still confused as to how he had gotten out to the lawn so fast when she hadn't even seen him go out the door. Hadn't it only been about ten minutes since she saw him last? Still confused, but too shy to actually ask him what he was doing with his pants practically off, she closed the door after him and Yahiko smiled in thanks. Yahiko nervously gave her a polite bow, and then turned and ran to the kitchen to find Kenshin and tell him what happened so he could avoid the prodding questions he didn't have any good answers to.

'First woman you see, first woman you see...' Sanosuke chanted over and over in his head as he searched the back area of the party for a girl he could play. He had made it clear that there was absolutely no way that he was going to let Chou have sex before he did, Sanosuke would make sure of that, even it killed him. 'First woman you see, first woman you see...' He continued with his searching when his eyes finally settled on a particular girl that stood out from the crowd over by the pool. Her smile was radiant and wide and she had curves that would've had you begging on your hands and knees. She stood with one of Kenshin's friends named Mina and she held a can of beer in one hand, covering her mouth when she laughed with the other. 

'Well, it's a good thing the first woman you saw was a fox,' Sanosuke thought with a crooked smile as he slyly made his way over to her. He had seen her around school before, heard her name once or twice before, he thought it was Megumi, but he never really was all that great with remembering things. She had always intrigued him with every single movement she made, when she walked down the hall, when she opened a door, everything. She seemed to have been trained to be a princess or something because it seemed that everything she did was exquisitely perfect and poised. 

In only seconds, he was right behind her, so close that he could smell the sweet aroma of her perfume and he opened his mouth to say something to her, not really sure of exactly what he was going to say, but he figured his "way with words" would eventually come in handy at this point. Unfortunately, her cell phone began to ring.

"Hang on, Mina," Megumi said, putting one graceful finger up in a motion for her friend to stop talking and she picked up her phone, "Hello? Oh, hey! How was that date tonight? Uh huh, uh huh... Wow, really? Oh my God, you said that?! Ohohoho!"

Sanosuke still stood behind her, listening to the conversation, and he could tell even from looking at the back of her head that she was smiling. The wind picked up and her long black hair flew backwards, encircling him like a cape, almost in a slight embrace. The strands touched his face, silky and smooth, and he would've just loved to reach out and run his hands through it, but he decided that there would be plenty of time for that later. He grinned mischievously at the thought and he continued listening to her conversation as she stopped laughing and turned a little more serious.

"Oh, he did? Well, what'd you do?" Megumi asked into the phone, unaware of the other listener of her conversation, and Sanosuke's interest grew as he wondered what exactly they were talking about, "I can't believe you told him that you forbade him from leaving his own damn car! Jesus, Sayo! You didn't really think that would work did you?!"

Red sirens rang throughout Sanosuke's ears, beckoning him to turn away and never look back, but he was too shocked to move. There was definitely no way that what the girl was saying to her friend was just mere coincidence and Sanosuke backed up as if she had just struck him across the face. 'Just my luck!' he thought angrily, 'I finally find the girl I want and then I find out she's friends with the girl that told me not to leave my car! Great, just great! Jeez, Sanosuke, you sure no how to pick 'em!' Sanosuke was still close enough to hear more of their conversation and he really felt the need to just dart in the other direction, but he kind of wanted to hear more about what Sayo had to say about their so-called 'date.'

"Uh huh...," Megumi said, nodding as she listened to her friend's story, "Sayo, let me explain, all guys are like that! Well, most of them anyway... of course he wanted to score with you! That's all they ever want! What did you... oh... Okay, well, tell me this: Was he cute?"

Sanosuke's ears perked up at this and he moved back to his original close position behind her to hear what Sayo had to say about his attractiveness, his urge to leave suddenly a mere speck in his memory. 'She better know a stud when she sees one!' Sanosuke thought as he pushed a few stray hairs that fell onto his face out of his eyes.

"What do you mean you didn't look?!" Megumi exclaimed, flabbergasted at her friend's idiocy, and she smacked herself on the forehead in dismay, "How could you not have...?! No, I swear, all men are like that!... No, really. There's no such thing as a perfect gentleman these days, Sayo. Look, you always hafta kiss a few toads until you find your prince. Haha, God knows I've had my fair share of toads! Yeah, okay, well don't dwell on it too much. Okay, I'll talk to you later, bye." After she hung up the phone, Megumi sighed once she realized Mina had already left, probably to hook up with one of her many options at the party, and she turned around, almost bumping right into Sanosuke as she did so. A little startled at first, she gently touched his arm to move around him and politely said, "Excuse me," before she made her way back to the party, but not before she was able to give him a discreet once over. Sanosuke watched her go, even more intrigued by the foxy lady.

"Women," he muttered and he shoved his hands in his pockets, "Hell, they all want the same thing! Gentlemen, this, gentlemen, that! Wait a second, I think I gotta plan comin' on here! Now, how am I supposed to become this Prince Charming guy?"   
  
  
  


A/N: I know, I know... some of these things didn't happen in American Pie, but I wanted to add some things so that it's a little more original. And for those of you who haven't read my brother's story, "Twin Dragon Arc" the character Megumi is seen talking with Mina, an OC from his fic. She'll be in later chapters, but only as a minor character, she gets more emphasis in the sequel I'm writing. Hope you like the story so far, suggestions and comments welcome, just click on the little button at the end of the screen and let me know what you think. No flames please! Bye! P.S. I don't like having Megumi and Sayo be friends anymore than you do. It's just wrong.... cringe


	4. The Pact

Disclaimer: I don't own RK or American Pie. 'Nuff said.  
  
  
  


Chapter 3:

"The Pact"  
  


"Alright, you little punk, I'm coming in there!" Kaoru yelled angrily at whoever dared insult her in her own house. Too upset to think logically, she took a few steps back towards the stairs before she charged toward the door full force. Magically, as if it had never been locked in the first place, the door swung open from the brutal force coming from the opposite end. 

Kaoru fell hard on the floor, her shoulder slamming into the ceramic surface of the tile of her brother, Saito's, bathroom. Wincing, she got up, rubbing her throbbing shoulder and looked around for the guy she had been looking forward to pulverizing into the next light year, but there was no one there. Puzzled, Kaoru searched behind the shower curtain and around the toilet, even inside the laundry basket, but she only came up with some toilet paper and scented shower gel. Wondering if she had imagined the entire thing, she scratched her head in confusion to the missing person, when a sudden gust of wind from the open window blew her hair array. A bit startled, she whirled around to face the window, his most likely escape route, and balled up her fists. 

'Darn!' she thought to herself as she went to close the window, 'He got away already!' Kaoru let out a disdained sigh and turned back to the door, almost overlooking a very strange magazine on the sink counter. Pausing in mid-step, Kaoru walked backwards a few steps to examine what the guy had left in Saito's bathroom, wondering if it was in fact what it appeared to be. Her ocean-blue eyes scanned over the picture laid out from the porn magazine page Yahiko had been observing, widening at the sickening image, and her hand flew to cover her mouth.

"Oh my God..." Kaoru whispered as she stared in horror at the dirty pictures, "That guy was... he was...."

"EWWW!!!!"

Everyone downstairs at the party stopped at the sound of someone's disgusted scream, those who were sober enough to recognize the sound anyway. People close enough to the stairs looked up to the second story with curious eyes and caught sight Kaoru running out of the bathroom, squealing and waving her hands in the air like a madwoman. After a few moments of awkward silence, the DJ cranked the music back up and everyone shrugged and carried on with their own business.

"That is so disgusting!" Kaoru breathed, leaning back against the door of her room, her right arm still gripping her bruised shoulder, but the pain was almost completely forgotten. After a few minutes of catching her breath, she ran over to her bed and threw herself on the pillows, burying her face in the soft cotton. 'That was just sick!' she thought to herself, 'That fuck, that sick fuck... If I ever see that guy again, I'm gonna...' Kaoru didn't even get to finish her train of thought because the door of her room suddenly opened and in walked a short guy with flaming red hair. His gorgeous amethyst eyes scanned over the room as if memorizing every single aspect in his mind, that is, until his gaze fell on her. His eyes widened to impossible size at seeing someone in the room and he quickly apologized.

"Oro? Oh, sorry. I didn't think anyone was in here," Kenshin said as he began to close the door, "I'm sorry. I was just taking a tour of the house, that I was."

"Wait a second! Are you the guy that was in the bathroom earlier?" Kaoru asked, slowly reaching behind her for some kind of hard object to hit him with if he did happen to be the moron that had escaped earlier. Kenshin didn't seem to notice.

"Uh... which one?" Kenshin asked, not knowing if she meant the one downstairs or whatever. He had used the one downstairs a while ago and he wasn't sure if that was what she meant. He was extremely shocked when she jumped from her position on the bed and pounced on him, hitting him over the head with a plastic baseball bat. "Oro?!" Kenshin exclaimed.

"You sicko!" Kaoru screamed at the fallen red head, fully accusing him of being the man that called her Ugly earlier, "What the hell were you doing wacking off in my brother's bathroom, huh?! And then you have the nerve to call me Ugly! You're lucky you were able to get out that window earlier, you little fucker!"

"Window? Wacking off in Saito's bathroom? What are you talking about?! Ow!" Kenshin yelped as he tried to shield his face with his arms from the oncoming attacks, "I wasn't doing any of that, that I wasn't! Ow! Would you quit hitting me already?! Ouch! That hurts!"

Finally, Kaoru rolled off him, letting up on the abuse for a second to look at her prey. He looked absolutely helpless lying there with his arms up and over his head to protect his face and Kaoru took a few steps back to let him know he had some explaining to do if he didn't want to get assaulted again. At the pause in ambush, Kenshin slowly moved his arms back down to check if she was going to hit him again or not, but seeing that the psychotic girl was now calm, he brought his arms all the way down to his sides. His eyes however never lost concentration on the plastic baseball bat she still held in her hands. 

"You weren't the one in the upstairs bathroom a few minutes ago?" Kaoru asked him, still holding onto the plastic bat, just in case he tried anything funny. Kenshin shook his head solemnly and Kaoru took a step back. "Oh..." she said, embarrassed by her mistake, "I'm sorry. There was this guy in there earlier that was looking at dirty magazines and... yeah..." She trailed off as she remembered that she had probably said too much already and she shut her mouth. It was bad enough that she had made the mistake of practically killing the wrong guy, but the innocent one had to be really cute too! She bit her lower lip as a slight blush rose to her cheeks from a strange thought that somehow found it's way into her mind. "I'm so sorry..." she repeated, putting her head down in shame and she slowly dropped her weapon to the ground.

"It's alright," Kenshin said with his usual rurouni smile, but it quickly changed to a small frown when he remembered something Yahiko said to him earlier about where he was going, "did you happen to catch a glimpse at the guy? Was he about yay high with short, black, spiky, hair?"

"I actually have no clue, I didn't get to look at the guy," Kaoru replied with a shrug, "Why, do you have an idea of who it might have been?"

"Uhhhhh....... no..." Kenshin lied. He definitely had a pretty good idea of who it was. Only someone like Yahiko would be stupid enough to wack off in someone else's house. Kenshin just shook his head in dismay; he disapproved of his friend's behavior so often that he almost got used to it. 

He sighed, wondering when Yahiko would ever learn to wait until he got home to do such things. Not that Kenshin himself wasn't a little horndog for some action, but at least he had enough decency to wait until he could do that in the privacy of his own home. Turning his attention back to Saito's sister, he asked her, "So, where do you go to school? I don't think I've seen you around at Jinchuu."

"I go to Jinchuu, you probably just don't hang out where I do," Kaoru answered. She had never seen this guy either, but then again, she never really left the library so that was most likely the top reason why. "I always hang out in the library with a few friends during lunch. I don't really know too many of my brother's friends. What's your name?"

"Kenshin Himura," he said, "Yeah, I don't really go to the library much, that I don't, unless I need a book for research or something. But besides that, I always hang out in the quad with my friends. What's your name?"

"Kaoru," she responded and she put out her hand to shake, "I don't think I have to tell you my last name." Kenshin smiled and shook her hand as she gave his a gentle squeeze that made him feel somehow light-headed and dizzy. Not from the intensity from her grip, but more like a strange flip flop feeling in the bottom of his stomach.

"Kenshin! Hey, there you are!" Yahiko exclaimed as he barged into the room without so much as a friendly knock, "I've been looking all over for you! I gotta tell you about what happened earlier!"

Kenshin nodded to his friend, hiding his disappointment for getting interrupted with Saito's cute sister, and turned back to Kaoru with a bright smile, "Well, I have to go now, that I do. Maybe I'll see you around school. Talk to you later!" Giving her one last smile, Kenshin got up and ran after his friend that had already darted from the room as soon as he saw Kaoru. Kenshin was puzzled about this, but he didn't bother trying to ask while he ran. When he was finally able to catch up with his friend at the bottom of the stairs, Yahiko slapped him on the back.

"That was a close one... I didn't think I'd make it out alive!" Yahiko said and he waved off Kenshin's puzzled expression with a wave of his hand, "I'll explain. Well, it all started when I went up stairs to use the bathroom and......."  
  


Meanwhile, Saito had just entered his bathroom to ready himself for a night with Tokio. He checked for food in his teeth and smoothed back his hair, letting a few of his long bangs to fall gently into his face, and he smiled in satisfaction at his reflection. 'Man, I need a beer,' he thought suddenly and his eyes settled on a leftover cup on the sink counter, the cup Yahiko had used for putting his ejaculation in, and he smiled cluelessly, 'Ah, there's one! I guess I just lucked out!'

With a pleased smile, Saito straightened up, and made his way back to the room with the awaiting babe already in bed. Feeling like today was his lucky day, he closed the bedroom door behind him, letting the soft click of the lock to linger a bit in his ears before he made his way over to her, cup of beer in hand. Well... what he thought was all beer anyway.

"Alright, now let's get this party started!" Saito said and Tokio giggled at his enthusiasm. In one smooth movement, he brought the cup to his lips and gulped down all the contents, expecting that warm feeling that he always felt whenever he drank alcohol, but instead there was some other foul taste. It was awful! His eyes widened from their usual slanted state and he began to gag, the pieces of tonight's dinner suddenly making it's way up his throat, and he took a second glance at the contents of the cup. Something white and milky swirled inside the beer and Saito realized just what it was.

"Hajime, what's the matter?" Tokio asked, concerned about his sudden change. She hoped he wasn't sick or anything since she really wanted to continue what they had been doing earlier, but judging by the way he kept lurching forward, that would probably have to be saved for a later time. "What's wrong?"

Saito lurched forward towards her again, this time unable to help the inevitable vomit from escaping him, and it flowed down all over the front of her shirt. Tokio looked down at the mess with teary eyes and immediately got up from where she was halfway under the covers to scream in disgust. She ran from the room, her arms flailing about like she was crazy and she headed back downstairs and out the front door. 

Saito was definitely disappointed, but his stomach was obviously not up for running after her and apologizing. Besides, he felt that low gurgling feeling rising up again into his gut and he quickly darted for the bathroom to vomit in the toilet. He stayed there for a little over twenty minutes when finally Yahiko, Sanosuke, and Kenshin appeared in the doorway, amused grins on their faces.

"Hey Saito!" Yahiko said, his arms neatly folded across his chest in pride; he had heard what happened from a few party-goers earlier and he had just been able to arrive on the scene to rub it in his face, "How's the white Sprite?!"

"Shut the hell up!" Saito shouted between puking and everyone burst out laughing at his pitiful condition as he continued to throw up Yahiko's little 'present.'  
  


A few hours later, Sanosuke, Kenshin and Yahiko were all sitting down in the empty living room of Saito's house watching some late night television show when Chou and Kamatari emerged from the bedroom and headed downstairs. The three guys in the living room turned the TV volume down to the lowest point and pretended to be watching still as they listened to their conversation.

"That was really fun, Chou," Kamatari said, a cute smile plastered on her face as she gave him a warm hug, "hopefully we can do that again sometime soon. Call me alright?" Chou simply nodded, opened the door for her and she left, closing the door behind her on her way out. He gave her one last friendly wave before turning back around to face the remaining guys in the living room, his grin so wide the Pacific ocean seemed tiny.

"Well, that would have had to be the best night of my life," Chou said, a mischievous smirk on his face, "Dude, that girl sure knows how to rock my boat. Hope you girls were as fortunate as I was in the scoring department, but seeing as you're still here without any sign of manhood around, I guess you weren't. Hm, too bad, so sad."

"How did you do that?" Kenshin asked, curiosity evident in his voice and his expression, "You just met her tonight and somehow you ended up sleeping with her. I don't get it."

"It was just my time, I guess," Chou responded with a shrug, "you guys should really join the club and get off the training wheels. You've got no idea what you're missing! Best of luck to you, boys." Chou then strutted his way out of the house, leaving the astonished three in silence.

"Well, slap my ass and call me Suzie!" Sanosuke shouted as he slapped his knee, "That little shit actually got some ass before I did! Is the whole world against me or what?!"

"We're pathetic," Kenshin said, holding his head in his hands, "even Chou had sex before we did! That is a new low, that it is."

"Did you see how he was talking to us? He was like acting all superior and what not. That guy sure knows how to kick 'em when they're down," Sanosuke grumbled, "I dunno how freakin' drunk that Kamatari chick was, but it must've been pretty damn drunk to have actually willingly slept with that asshole!"

"Guys, I've got an idea," Yahiko said, stopping his two friends' complaints with his sudden input, "we're all gonna show that jerk-off, Chou, who exactly he thinks is inferior here and we're gonna show everyone else just what exactly we're made of! Now, what we do is, we make a pact; something you can't break no matter what, something that you gotta go through with under any circumstances. So here's the deal. We all get laid before we go to college."

"And how exactly are we going to do that?" Kenshin asked, intrigued by Yahiko's idea, but still a little weary about the lack of details, "I mean, it's not like we haven't been trying already, Yahiko. What makes you think that making this pact is gonna help at all?"

"Well, we can help each other out, like advice and shit," Yahiko replied and Sanosuke and Kenshin leaned forward to listen harder, "we can be there to encourage each other and all that stuff, you know what I mean? We gotta do something about this unsullied dick shit! We're gonna go out there and get laid and we're gonna have fun doin' it!"

"Now we're talkin'!" Sanosuke exclaimed and Kenshin nodded in agreement.

"We're gonna show the world what the hell we're made of and you know what?! They're gonna like it! Now, at this very moment, we're marking the time that our journey begins. We will show the world! We will put our dicks to good use! We will get some ass!!!!" Yahiko yelled as Kenshin and Sanosuke hooted and hollered at what happened to be the best idea they heard in a loooong time.  
  
  
  
  
  


A/N: In case any of you were wondering, Kaoru is serving as Saito's sister because I thought it would be just plain wrong to have her be his mom. Unlike in the American Pie movie, the character of Kaoru, "Stifler's mom", in this case, sister, is going to have a lot more screen time. In case you haven't noticed yet, Yahiko is pretty much the main character in this story because he plays Jim, but don't worry, the other characters get embarrassed too, just not as much. I know the story is a little weird right now, but it'll all fall into place in later chapters. Don't worry. Here is a little key as to who the characters in RK are playing:

*Yahiko- Jim

*Kenshin- Finch

*Sanosuke- Oz

*Saito- Stifler

*Kaoru- Stifler's mom/ sister

*Megumi- Heather

*Chou- Sherman (The Sherman-ator)

*Yumi- Nadia

Don't worry, other characters will arrive in later chapters, either as a small role or a big one. Hint: Weasel girl. Please review! 


	5. The Bible for Our Generation

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the clothes on my back, let alone American Pie or RK.  
  


Chapter 4:

"The Bible for our Generation"  
  


Megumi, Tsubame, and Kaoru all sat lazily around their table in the library, trying to keep cool in the hot summer weather by fanning themselves with magazines and books. It didn't help that the library's air conditioner broke last week and now their little hang-out was just too hot to bear. Without any sign of discomfort, Mina strolled in, her long red hair bouncing as she walked over to her friends at the table, oblivious to the steamy weather. She sat down, her violet eyes boring into theirs with just a hint of gold behind them, showing them all that something was up.

"Hey guys!" Mina said, a little too happily, "Wipe those frowns off your faces this instant 'cause I got somethin' that'll brighten that light in your life!"

"Okay, Mina, whatever you're on, you better gimme some," Megumi replied with a smile, "Really, what's this all about?"

"I'll tell you," Mina said, a sense of excitement in her voice as she leaned closer to her friends so she could whisper, "I've been looking all over for my book and I finally found it! This is the legendary Know-how book! I found it in the back of my closet yesterday and I figured you all might want to see it, being that you're not really moving too fast in the relationship boat."

"What are you talking about?!" Kaoru asked, mortified that her friend thought that she was single most of her life, it was true, but she wasn't about to admit it, "I've had plenty of dates!"

"Riiiiiight, Kaoru," Mina said sarcastically, "so then tell me, when was the last time you went on one, hm?"

Kaoru shut up right there, so fast in fact that the sound of her teeth clicking together echoed throughout the entire library. Truthfully, she hadn't had a date in a while... a very long while. She couldn't even really remember the last time she had a boyfriend. Last year maybe, the last decade, another lifetime? Either way, it was pretty pathetic on her part. Still, whatever the hell Mina was talking about was definitely making Kaoru curious. Tsubame and Megumi were also eagerly paying attention to their red headed friend. 

Mina was their 'counselor.' She helped them out with whatever problems they seemed to have, whether it be guy stuff, eating habits, what contained the most alcohol, and who was doing who, to just about anything. Mina seemed to have done everything there was to do in the world, well... in Megumi, Tsubame and Kaoru's eyes anyway, so they automatically went to her for advice. Right now, one of her crazy ideas seemed to be just the thing for them to get their minds off the weather.

"Go on," Tsubame said, not able to hide the intrigue in her voice and Mina smiled as she pulled out a huge mangled book. Papers were falling out everywhere; the book seemed to be at least thirty years old, if not, more, and it was definitely not in it's best condition. The binding was covered with worn gray duct tape and it was tapered at the edges of the book to keep it all stuck together. Kaoru made a face at the poorly conducted book placed in front of them and Mina smiled wider.

"Don't give me that face, Kaoru," Mina said, "You can never judge a book by it's cover, you know. It's not what's on the outside of the book that counts, it's what's actually in the pages that's the real deal." To prove her point, Mina opened the practically ancient book to reveal pages and pages of writing of advice about guys, and many, and I mean, many pictures of hentai. "Behold, ladies, the Bible for our generation!"

"Wow!" Tsubame said as she moved seats to get a closer look at the book, "What is this anyway?"

"It's like a sex manual or something," Mina replied, "I found it my sophomore year here, somewhere in this library and I took it home with me. There's another one around here somewhere for men, but I haven't found it yet. Girls, if there's anything you ever wanted to know about guys or sex, I bet you anything that you'll find it in this book. I'm going to lend this to you and you're all gonna share it and return it to me at the end of the year. Use it wisely."

Kaoru blushed at all the dirty pictures in the book and turned her face away. Megumi pointed and laughed at her friend's modesty and Tsubame eagerly flipped through the book with wide eyes. Everything in the book was so fascinating, like the entire world's knowledge of sex was all written in the damaged pages of the red book.

"Can I borrow it first?" Tsubame excitedly asked Mina and Megumi and Kaoru stopped talking for a moment to catch up with what had occurred while they were distracted. Mina gave her a nod and Tsubame smiled as if she had just won the lottery and excused herself to go to her locker to put the precious book in there for safe keeping. Kaoru and Megumi sat still, watching as an overly happy Tsubame left the library to her locker. After long moments of silence, Megumi shouted, "I GET IT NEXT!"  
  


"Okay, here's the stuff," Yahiko said as he handed Sanosuke and Kenshin their boxes of condoms. He had them meet him in the library at lunch so that no one could see them and their um... accessories since the library was pretty much empty all the time. Yahiko handed Sanosuke one and Kenshin, his requested, four. "Now, are you guys scamming yet?"

"Scamming?" Kenshin asked, unfamiliar with the term and Sanosuke rolled his eyes at his clueless friend, "What's that?"

"You're an idiot," Sanosuke grumbled as he smacked him on the head, "scamming, you know, like scoping out the chick you're gonna score with. Scamming's when you think of a plan on how to get her."

"Oh...." Kenshin said and Yahiko and Sanosuke sweat dropped.

Suddenly, something caught Yahiko's attention out of the corner of his eye and he looked through the book case to see a familiar girl in the next aisle: Tsubame. Quickly, Yahiko ducked down low, not wanting Tsubame to see him holding onto a box of condoms and he hit the floor, pressing his body as close to the ground as possible. Sanosuke and Kenshin looked at him, puzzled by his strange behavior until they saw who exactly had caused him to hit the floor. 

Shaking his head, Sanosuke gave Yahiko a little kick while he was on the ground, you know, just for the fun of it. While on the ground, Yahiko spotted something red and dusty under the book case and he reached under the library shelf to grab it. Pulling it out, he sat up, still making sure he was low enough for Tsubame to miss seeing him and he opened up the ragged book. Opening it up to the first page, Yahiko's eyes widened at the contents of the old book. All over the front page was pictures of different sex positions, one for everyday of the week, for everyday for a year.

"Whatcha got there, Yahiko? Don't tell me you actually know how to open a book," Sanosuke said, but his teasing tone subsided as his eyes fixated on the pictures on the front page, "Whoa! You found PORN!" Kneeling down next to him, Sanosuke looked in on the pages that Yahiko was looking at and found a very strange sexual position. Trying to put his leg up the way it was in the book, but finding it pretty difficult, Sanosuke said, "Nah, that's impossible!" Kenshin bent down to examine the book as well and finding that it was some kind of Kama Sutra, he blushed, but continued to look anyway.

"Where'd you find this?" Kenshin asked, nodding towards the book Yahiko was holding and Yahiko shrugged.

"I don't know, it was under the book case," Yahiko said, his concentration mainly on the, in his words, 'way cool' pictures in the book.

"Dude, if there's one, there's gotta be more!" Sanosuke exclaimed and he shot up from where he sat on the ground and began running up and down aisles, stopping every once in a while to look under all the bookcases for another book like the one Yahiko had found. With Sanosuke gone, Yahiko handed Kenshin the book for a moment.

"Hold this for a second, I need to tie my shoes," Yahiko said, shoving the book into Kenshin's hands and he walked over to a nearby chair to put his foot up for easier access to his laces. Kenshin held the book, stunned and a little skeptical if he should open it or not. He never even noticed a familiar girl running in his direction until she had already bumped into him. Because of the collision, the book flew from his hands, landing in front of both Kenshin and Kaoru, opened up to a page of a blow up picture of the female anatomy. Blushing like crazy, Kenshin racked his brain for some kind of excuse, but ended up stuttering something incoherent instead.

"Kjdhjhfkjgiwfknfosf...." Kenshin stuttered as Kaoru bent down to pick up the book he had dropped before he could protest.

"What is this?" Kaoru asked as she picked up the book, examining the picture with great interest and her eyes widened as she realized what it was, "What are you doing with porno?!"

"Orororororororororo....." Kenshin mumbled, completely at a loss for words, and to his sheer luck and disappointment, Yahiko came back, his shoes already tied.

"Thanks for holding the book, Kenshin," he said and noticing that Kaoru was holding the book, he turned to her angrily, "Hey! Give it back, Ugly!"

"Ugly?!" Kaoru exclaimed. She could recognize that voice anywhere, it was that guy from yesterday that was in her bathroom! "Y...you! It's you! You're that horrible jerk that was wacking off in my brother's bathroom yesterday!"

"Uh oh," Yahiko said and he tried to make a run for it, but Kaoru pounced on him, knocking him to the floor. She hit him over the head with the Kama Sutra book multiple times as Kenshin just stood there, unmoving, not sure what to do. He wasn't about to get into a quarrel with Kaoru again, knowing all too well how hard she could hit, so he decided to just run before he got himself into trouble. Kenshin fled from the scene, flailing his arms around, yelling, "Oro!" and he passed an empty-handed Sanosuke on his way out.

"Freak..." Sanosuke murmured as he watched Kenshin leave and he turned back to Yahiko who was now on the floor, and sitting on top of him was some black haired girl, "Hey, Lil' Missy, you wanna get off my friend please?"

Turning to the newcomer who had interrupted the severe beating of the little brat underneath her, Kaoru suddenly blushed, finally realizing her position was highly inappropriate and strongly resembled one of the pictures in the book. Megumi and Tsubame decided to appear just then, and gave Kaoru a strange look at how she was on top of Yahiko. Tsubame glared at her friend as she realized that she was on top of Yahiko, her crush since what seemed like forever, and Megumi's fox ears popped up at the opportunity to tease her friend once again.

"Well, Kaoru, I didn't think you had it in you," Megumi said, her arms folding over her chest and she smirked at her embarrassed friend, "Aren't you going to get off him already? I think he's had enough for one day."

Kaoru, still bright crimson, got off of Yahiko as quickly as she could and Yahiko sat up, dusting himself off. Sanosuke shook his head at what he thought was Yahiko's poor choice of women and he helped him off the ground as soon as he was able to tear his eyes off the familiar foxy lady on the opposite end of the aisle.

"Kaoru, what on earth has gotten into you?!" Tsubame scolded, trying her best to keep her voice down so that Yahiko wouldn't hear her jealousy, "Why were you on top of Yahiko?!"

"He's the guy I told you about! He's that jerk-wad that was wacking off in Hajime's bathroom!" Kaoru protested out loud and she pointed an accusing finger at Yahiko, "He's the one that left those dirty magazines!"

"Whoa, Yahiko! Couldn't wait 'til you got home, eh?" Sanosuke asked and Yahiko mentally kicked him for embarrassing him in front of Tsubame. Yahiko seethed and clenched his fists at the predicament he was in and Sanosuke immediately helped save him from internal torment as he suddenly remembered the pact they had made.

"Well, Ladies, it was a pleasure, but we really outta get going now. Yahiko apologizes for his uh... well, whatever he did to offend you, but he has to go now," Sanosuke said as he started backing away from the girls, who stared at Yahiko with murder glinting in their eyes, "I'll make sure he doesn't bother you again and uh... he'll probably pick up those magazines later. See ya!" Without another word, both Yahiko and Sanosuke ran from the library at top speed, not looking back to see if the angry Kaoru was chasing after them or not because if she wasn't, turning around would be a sure signal for her to start. Megumi and Tsubame had to hold her back to keep her from doing just that.

"Are you sure that Yahiko was that guy?" Tsubame asked, still in denial about Yahiko being the complete jerk Kaoru found him to be.

"Positive," Kaoru said through clenched teeth.

"Well, I dunno about you girls, but I thought the other guy was pretty cute," Megumi said, completely forgetting the entire Yahiko-being-a-pervert thing and she smiled at the library's exit that the two guys had just exited from. "I mean, oh yeah! Yahiko's a jerk..." Megumi said, darting her eyes back and forth as she tried to hide her distraction from the obscene situation and it would have been believable if she didn't keep staring at the door Sanosuke had just exited from.  
  


A/N: I know, Tsubame is waaaaaaaaay out of character here, but hey! I couldn't have two virgin girls in this story, it just wouldn't be very fun! In case you haven't noticed, Kaoru is the one virgin girl in her group so no room for another and Mina is her exact opposite, the village bicycle of the group. =^..^= Also, Yahiko has more than one crush, one of them being on Yumi, which is the greater of the two, the other on Tsubame. Sorry if that was unclear. Don't forget to review! If you do, I'll update faster from the encouragement. P.S. thanks for the people that reviewed earlier!


	6. You're Going to Hell for This

Disclaimer: RK and American Pie aren't mine, never were, never will, but boy do I wish...  
  


Chapter 5:

"You're Going to Hell for This"  
  


Saito ran quickly through the halls, many underclassmen confusedly stepping aside to make way for him, when he finally found the two people he had been looking for. Running over to them, Saito grabbed Kenshin and Yahiko by their elbows and led them to the choir room where he insisted that they were going to faint and had to see to believe. Curious, Yahiko and Kenshin followed the astonished Saito reluctantly and went inside the choir room to see whatever Saito was raving about. The sight before them was shocking to say the least. 

Sanosuke was standing on the bleachers, singing with the choir consisting of Shishio, Soujiro, Tokio, Mina, and Megumi. Saito smirked at Sanosuke, throwing in a couple eye rolls as well to his least favorite moronic teammate. Sano hadn't shown up to lacrosse practice during lunch, thus angering their coach enough to smack Saito over the head more than a few times as if it were his fault that Sano would choose to go sing instead of practice for the upcoming big game. Soon, Kenshin found himself moving his head to the music as they sang and Saito turned to give him a quelling look which stopped the red head dead in his tracks. Choir ended and the teacher, Miss Tomoe, let them all pack up their stuff.

"That was a good practice, guys," Miss Tomoe said, "Keep up the good work. That competition coming up is pretty big and we're gonna blow them away!"

Sanosuke grabbed his stuff and made his way over to his friends at the top of the stairs, a ridiculous smile on his face.

"Hey, what's up?" he said, only to Kenshin and Yahiko, but Saito decided to say something anyway.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Saito demanded, "Hiko went nuts when you didn't show up for practice today! Don't tell me you're trying to score some points by singing your way into one of these choir girls' pants."

"Will you shut up!" Sanosuke whispered harshly at his teammate, he didn't want anyone else to hear Saito rambling and he sure wasn't about to let him embarrass him, "This Megumi chick said that all men are the same or whatever and something about toads and princes or some kind of crap like that. So I figure, if I can act like the perfect guy, that 'Prince Charming' dude all these girls always swoon over, then there's no way I'm gonna go to college a virgin. So all I gotta do is be nice, play it sweet, and listen to what she has to say and shit." 

"I dunno, Sano," Yahiko said as he checked out the choir girls, "They're hot and all, but that sounds really hard!" 

Kenshin and Sanosuke sweat dropped, not even noticing Saito's absence until they heard him talking clear across the room to Tokio. Saito had been listening to what Sanosuke had been saying about playing it sweet and he was gonna try it out for himself. Half because he wanted to prove to him that his plan was all a load of crap and half because it actually sounded like a good idea, of course, Saito would rather die than admit that to Sano though. 

"Hey Tokio," Saito said, jogging over to where she stood with some of her choir friends, "do you want me to pay for your dry cleaning bill for that shirt?"

"Huh?" Tokio said, not sure if she heard him right, "Dry cleaning for my shirt? You want to pay for it?! Well, um..." Tokio was at a loss for words. I mean, this was Hajime Saito for crying out loud! Being nice! This was just way too much for her to handle and it became totally obvious to her that he must be up to something. Shifting from one foot to the other, Tokio tried to sum up some kind of excuse to get herself out of there and out of his prying eyes when she suddenly brightened up when she saw a familiar red head at the top of the stairs; her get-away plan. Grinning from ear to ear, she waved to him with energetic arm circles, much to Saito's surprise. "Hey Kenshin!" she called, waving her hand at him with a huge grin on her face and she his the smile her face threatened to survey when she saw Saito's eyes bulge out, "Hajime, I'm sorry, can we continue this later?" Without even waiting for him to respond, Tokio took off and started talking to Kenshin.

"Hey Kenshin," Tokio said, her voice practically dripping with honey as she batted her long ebony eyelashes at him, "you have a date for the prom yet?"

Saito's mouth dropped open as he watched the scene unfold before his eyes. 'That little shit is not doing what I think he's doing,' Saito thought to himself as he narrowed his golden eyes into mere slits to glare at the rurouni in front of him, 'If he thinks he's gonna get away with taking Tokio from me, he's got another thing coming! What in the world is Tokio doing?! Why's she talking to him when I was being all nice and sweet or whatever?! I'll get you for this, Shit-Break.'

"Uh.... no, why?" Kenshin asked, surprised at Tokio's strange sudden interest and he tried to play it cool even though he felt Saito's stabbing gaze at his back.

"I was just wondering," she replied with a devious smile and she turned to see Saito slam the choir door on his way out. She shrugged, "I wonder what's gotten into him... Oh well, see ya later!"

Standing alone at the top of the stairs, Sanosuke and Yahiko both turned to their friend, who had pretty much just been asked out to prom by one of the hottest girls in school, not to mention, was about to walk down death row for taking away Saito's supposed girl. If their eyebrows could go any farther up, they would've touched the ceiling of the auditorium.

"Okay, what was that all about?" Sanosuke questioned as soon as Tokio left, the first to recover from the initial shock.

"Um... well, you see I... uh... I um... I gotta go," Kenshin mumbled, "But before I do, I need your guys' help with something, that I do. Any rumors you hear about me, as bizarre as they may seem, you just agree, okay? In the spirit of this whole pact thing, just agree with whatever crazy things they're saying. I'm gonna go home to use the bathroom, see you guys in class."

"Kenshin, when are you going to learn how to take a dump in school?" Yahiko asked, growing impatient with his friend's picky attitude, "I mean, it is Senior year."

"I'm not about to subject myself to that, that I'm not," Kenshin answered with a look of disgust at the very thought of the high school's bathrooms and he left the choir room to go drive home to do his business. Yahiko stared after him as Sanosuke directed his attention to the two remaining girls in the auditorium, one being Mina and the other being the foxy lady Sanosuke had set his sights on, who were now heading up the steps to exit the room. Putting on his best smile, he cleared his throat before he spoke to Megumi.

"Hey, you were really great up there," he said and Yahiko almost doubled over laughing at Sanosuke's desperate attempt to impress the pretty girl.

"Thanks. You're not too shabby yourself," Megumi replied with a smile which was returned by Sanosuke as he admired her amazing wit, "Hey, weren't you the guy in the library yesterday when Kaoru was harassing your friend?"

"Who, Yahiko? Yeah, I was there," Sanosuke said with a nod and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Yahiko sink low into his chair as he tried to hide his face, "your friend did go a little crazy on him, but Yahiko's really sorry about that whole thing. You're Megumi, right?"

"Yeah, and you are... Sanosuke?" Megumi asked, uncertain of his name. She definitely recognized him from yesterday as that nice guy that apologized for Yahiko, after all, she never forgot a cute face. At a tiny angle, Megumi saw Yahiko sinking lower and lower into his chair, obviously embarrassed by the escapade from yesterday that she had recently mentioned and Megumi couldn't help but smile. "You know, Yahiko, just because you can't see me, doesn't mean I can't see you." 

This time, Yahiko stood up from where he was trying to hide in the cushion of his seat with a sheepish grin, one hand behind his head as he nervously scratched his neck. He let out an uneasy laugh and without warning, bolted to the door. This undoubtedly brought the attention back to Sanosuke.

"Sorry about him... uh... again, but yeah, I'm Sanosuke," he said and she turned to face him again. 

Mina politely excused herself and told Megumi she'd meet up with her later at lunch, something that Megumi barely acknowledged as she was too caught up with talking to the cute guy in front of her. Mina smiled to herself as she left the two alone, knowing that Sanosuke was definitely interested in Megumi by the way he kept looking at her and that he was obviously going to want her number or something. She was happy for her, glad that maybe she could move on from sophomore year and the whole Kanryu thing... Immediately, Mina shook her head. She didn't want to think about that. Right now, she just wanted to give Sanosuke a good chance to ask her friend out so she closed the door behind her and crossed her fingers for Megumi.

"Well, I better get going. I have to go find someone to let me borrow some money for lunch. I guess I'll talk to you later then," Megumi said and she started toward the door, swaying her hips back and forth in that foxy way of her's, her usual act of playing hard to get. It worked every time. 'And in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...' she counted, anxiously awaiting the precise moment he would call her back.

"Wait! Hold up a second!" he called.

'Bingo,' Megumi thought, her smile ever so mischievous and she mentally gave herself a thumbs up.

"Listen, uh... you wanna go out for lunch sometime, just to hang-out or whatever? My treat," Sanosuke asked and Megumi paused in her step. Turning back to face him, she made sure she kept her fox ears in check and innocently smiled on the outside while on the inside, she was really doing a little happy dance.

"I'd like that," Megumi replied cooly, "is now okay with you?"

"Yeah, now's okay. Let's go," Sanosuke said and he politely opened the door for her, making sure he did some weird hand gesture he had seen a couple proper guys do in that one Titanic movie and he smiled, "Ladies first."

Both left, Sanosuke in a much brighter mood as they walked off to the parking lot, heading over to his car, and he tried his best to remember what Sayo had told him about no hanky panky on the first date. 'This is gonna be hard,' he thought as he drove down to the diner with the foxy lady in the passenger seat of his car. Already, he was tempted to do just the opposite as dirty thoughts shifted around in his mind, some that involved a couple pictures in that book Yahiko found earlier as he found it more and more difficult to concentrate on the road. Funny thing was that she hadn't even done anything to provoke him. 'Just how much willpower do I have?' Sanosuke asked himself as he fought hard to concentrate on the road ahead instead of the gorgeous girl next to him, who so happened to be wearing a mini-skirt. 'Settle down, boy,' he soothed to his friend below his belt that didn't seem to want to cooperate to his objections, 'Jeez, this is gonna be a lot harder than I thought...'  
  


Yahiko yawned in his seat in History class as Mr. Gensai rambled on and on about Hitler. He was taking turns watching the clock and gawking at Yumi, who sat a few desks away from him, chewing on the cap of her pen. 'Lucky bastard. What I wouldn't do to be the one in her mouth...' Yahiko thought, not even noticing the girl next to him named Misao as she frantically scribbled lines all over the papers in front of her. Misao was reading music sheets from her band class, trying to play connect the dots with the notes. Realizing that the dots came out to a picture, Misao grinned at her 'artwork.'

"I think it's a tiger!" Misao exclaimed, startling Yahiko out of his daydreams of Yumi and he turned to frown at Misao for interrupting his dirty images. Just when he was about to scold her, the lunch bell rang. With an indignant sigh, Yahiko got up and dragged his feet as he stepped out of the classroom, tired, bored, and, as usual, very horny. As soon as he stepped into the hall however, Yumi jumped out of nowhere in front of him, causing Yahiko to practically jump right out of his skin.

"Yahiko, you have an A in History class, right?" Yumi asked, sweetly pressing her school books to her prodigious bosom, and Yahiko's mouth seemed to fill with cotton as he watched her eyes settle into his gaze.

"Uh... yeah... yeah, I do," Yahiko answered as he tried to act cool and lean his elbow over a nearby locker, not realizing that it was open. Clumsily, Yahiko fell over to his side, practically banging his head against the wall, and he quickly scrambled up to face Yumi again, embarrassed by his unorthodox behavior. She was definitely not amused.

"I was wondering if you could help me study. I'm not doing too well in that class and I was hoping that you could help me get my grade up," Yumi said, "maybe I could come by your place afterschool or something."

"Oh, uh... yeah, that'd be okay," Yahiko replied, trying to keep himself from bursting with joy and he simply settled for a small smile, "Should I just meet you here afterschool and we go to my place or what?"

"Well, I have dance class afterschool... But maybe can I just come by your house after and change there?" Yumi asked, finding absolutely nothing wrong with changing clothes at a guy's house that she barely knew. 

"Uhhhh.....sure," Yahiko said, and he crossed his feet over each other to hide something that seemed to be rising so unexpectedly, "that'd... be fine, I guess."

"Okay, I'll see you later then," Yumi said and she walked off, swaying her hips as she did so and Yahiko watched her disappear down the hall. 

As soon as Yumi was a good fair amount of feet away, Yahiko darted down the hall. 'I gotta go choke the lizard! Bathroom, bathroom, where's the bathroom?!' He ran in, stayed inside for a good twenty minutes, and relieved himself. Finally emerging from the bathroom, feeling like a completely new man, Yahiko smiled wide and strutted down the hall like there was nothing that could dampen his mood. 

Suddenly, a lightbulb shone on top of his head as an idea popped into mind. 'Dude, I can use my video camera on my computer and post her over the internet!' Yahiko thought to himself, 'I can watch her get dressed and she won't even know about it! Shit, where are the guys?! I gotta tell them about this!'

"You can do that?" Kenshin asked after Yahiko explained to them his plan. Yahiko nodded excitedly, his head bouncing up and down as if it weren't even attached to his body, and Saito curiously pulled his chair up closer so no one could hear them in the library.

"Just send us the address and they can save you a seat at Kenshin's house," Saito suggested. He wanted in on this too; there was no way he was gonna pass up on an opportunity to see someone like Yumi naked and get away with it. This way, she wouldn't even know they were watching her and there was no way Tokio could get mad at him if he wasn't actually watching Yumi undress in person or anything. Besides, Tokio, along with just about every other girl in school was suddenly obsessed with Kenshin. Why, Saito had no idea, all he knew was that he was getting Tokio back as his prom date no matter what and he didn't give a damn about what the hell he would have to do to accomplish that goal. Getting back to the situation at hand, Saito handed Yahiko a paper with his e-mail address on it for future reference.

"Yeah, send it out to just us and we'll wait for you to come by and watch at Kenshin's house," Sanosuke said, eager to see exactly what Yumi liked to flaunt, but never allowed to touch.

"Actually, I don't know about this guys..." Yahiko said, suddenly unsure if he should go through with the idea, "it sounds kind of wrong. What if she finds out?"

"Dude, get some freakin' balls already!" Saito exclaimed, contracting a few questioning stares from a few other people in the library near by, but they all automatically turned away by the hard look they received from Saito, "If you can't even look at her naked, how do you expect to see any other woman naked? Not like it's difficult to want to look or anything 'cause, in case you haven't noticed, Yumi's hot!"

"I hate his guts, but Saito does have a point, Yahiko, that he does," Kenshin reluctantly agreed. He hated to admit when Saito was right, which was rare enough, so he supposed he didn't really have a right to complain.

"See?! Even Shit-break knows you should do it!" Saito exclaimed, "Now just suck it up and post that girl over the internet already!"

Yahiko sighed and nodded. After all, it was his idea in the first place to post her up online, but he hadn't planned on telling Saito about any of it. Somehow he had just been in the library, most likely taunting Kenshin, and overheard their conversation, so now Yahiko had no choice but to send it to him too. Besides, Kenshin, Sanosuke, and Yahiko all had to kiss some major ass for Saito so that they could be invited to the after prom party at his house, something every single senior had been looking forward to all year. Reluctantly, Yahiko took the paper with Kenshin's and Saito's e-mail addresses on it and shoved it in his pocket. 'I hope I don't go to Hell for this,' Yahiko prayed and he left the library to go set up his computer for later.  
  
  
  


A/N: dramatic music Uh oh. I think you all know what's gonna happen in the next chapter according to the movie, but if you don't, all the more suspense! And Misao WILL be a big character, so don't worry about it. Right now I just have to introduce her into the story and later on, she'll get a little more face time. Please bear with me, Misao fans, and be prepared for a coupling you might not have expected... more dramatic music Hope S/M fans liked this chapter, I, for one, am a big fan of them so I just had to throw in their little date. This story is a little different from the movie at some parts because I like to add my own little twists, but basically it's the same story line. Hope you like it so far and if you do, please review! Thanks!


	7. Lying Practice

Disclaimer: Ixnay on the wningoay of RK and American Pie. (Pig Latin for: Nix on the owning) 

A/N: Yeah, sorry, I know I said there would be pie in this chapter, but I had to do a little more info on the girls POV. They need just a lil more face time. Hope you enjoy it!  
  


Chapter 6:

"Lying Practice"  
  


Kaoru walked alongside Mina, Megumi, and Tsubame in the cool air conditioned mall, her thoughts wandering over to things that she wasn't exactly a rocket scientist on: sex. How much did Kaoru know about it, besides the things that are mandatory in sex ed? Nothing. Kaoru was absolutely clueless about sex, whether it was the actual ritual, oral, anal, or even foreplay, Kaoru didn't even know most of the terms for sexually related words. If you mentioned the term blue balls, she'd think you were talking about a hockey puck or something. Kaoru bit her lip, as she watched her more experienced friends laugh and joke, oblivious to her not joining in.

"Hey, guys..." Kaoru said, interrupting their laughter with her voice and she shyly looked down at the ground in embarrassment from her question, "what's it like to give a guy a....." Kaoru trailed off, not even really sure what people called it. And of course, Tsubame, Mina, and Megumi knew exactly what she was talking about even though she couldn't find the word for it.

"Blowjob?" Tsubame concluded and Kaoru nodded silently, her cheeks flaming red and everyone smiled at her modesty. Turning to Megumi, Tsubame asked, "You wanna tell her?"

"Well, it's kind of like...," Megumi searched her mind for the right word, "it's like sucking a Tootsie Pop. Hopefully, he'll be bigger than that though!" Everyone laughed, but Kaoru as she blushed harder, just continued looking down at her shoes. 

"Since when were you so suddenly interested in that stuff, Kaoru?" Mina asked, a glint of amber in her violet eyes as she always did when she was up for mischief, "Are you planning on something?"

"Ohohohohoho!" Megumi laughed at Kaoru and Tsubame tried to stifle a giggle at the expense of her friend's pride. They all knew how uncomfortable Kaoru was whenever they talked about these kinds of things and it was surprising to hear her wanting to know stuff about it, especially what it was like.

"No..." Kaoru said innocently, "I was just wondering 'cause I don't have the book yet and I just wanted to know, that's all..."

"Well, you know that you can ask us, right?" Tsubame said, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Don't worry, we're not laughing at you, we're laughing 'cause you never ask those kinds of things and we were just surprised."

"Really?!" Mina asked, "I was really laughing!" Megumi laughed again and Mina slapped her a high five. "We're just kidding, Kaoru," Mina said after they both calmed down, "feel free to ask us anything you want. We'll try to keep sane."

"Yeah, I think the key word there is SANE. But seriously, Kaoru, if there's anything you want to know, go ahead and ask us," Megumi persuaded, "is there anything else you wanna know?"

"Um... Is it safer to use two condoms or one?" Kaoru asked and Mina stopped walking to ponder about that one. Megumi and Tsubame had voluntarily stepped aside at this question, letting Mina take over since condoms so happened to be something un-alien to her. You could even call condoms her best friend.

"One," Mina finally answered, "'cause when you're like moving around and stuff, the two will create friction and it will most likely rip. Better to be safe with one." Megumi and Tsubame nodded in agreement and Kaoru nodded as well, just to show she was listening. It made sense, but there were still a few things that were bothering her.

"Does it hurt the first time?" Kaoru asked. This time she didn't even bother looking down at her feet, they had gotten boring after a while and this question was something she really wanted answered. Mina opened her mouth to answer, but Tsubame put her hand up to stop her.

"I'll take this one, Mina," Tsubame volunteered; she hadn't answered any of Kaoru's questions so far even though she knew the answer to all of them, it'd be only fair if she got to answer at least one, "It does hurt the first time, but it's different for everyone. Sometimes it hurts some people more than others and sometimes you can barely feel it at all. I think it just takes a little while for you to get used to it."

"Well said, Tsubame," Megumi agreed, nodding her head with satisfaction, "don't worry about it, Kaoru, I'm sure it won't hurt you that much. I barely felt it my first time."

"That's probably because you were with Mr. Tootsie Pop dick!" Mina said and they all burst out laughing, "Tsubame, are you done using the book yet?"

"Yeah, I know! Quit hogging it!" Megumi exclaimed, "There's other people waiting for it, you know." Tsubame merely rolled her eyes and slowly pulled the book from out of her bag and handed it to Megumi's grabby hands, reluctant to let it go.

"Fine, here," Tsubame said, not quite willingly as she sighed like she had just given up her first born child, "and just a warning, it doesn't hold back on anything. The people who wrote this were very unique with their choice of words." Mina smiled, remembering that she herself had written a little bit in that book a while back, but she couldn't really remember what. "There was this one article about how to make a guy's cum taste sweet..." 'That's the one,' Mina thought to herself and she smiled as she remembered the day she wrote it.

"Haha! I wrote that one!" Mina exclaimed and everyone turned to look at her. Clearing her throat and wanting to take the attention off her, Mina changed the subject. "So Megumi, how was that date of your's earlier?"

"Date?!" Kaoru asked, extremely interested as to why her friend hadn't told her sooner, "I didn't know you had a date today! With who?!" Megumi opened her mouth to speak, but Mina cut her off before she could utter a word of protest.

"His name is Sanosuke and he's in the choir with us," Mina said and Megumi poked her in the ribs, "Ow! What was that for?! Don't tell me you didn't want them to know! C'mon, Megumi spill the beans! What happened?"

"Nothing!" Megumi said, throwing her arms in the air at their overreacting to her having a date, if you could even call it that; she wasn't sure what it was, "I don't even think it was a date. He just took me out to lunch, that's all. He paid and everything, even when I offered to pay for half. But I didn't have any money anyway so it was a good thing he did... He seems like a really nice guy."

"Uh huh," Mina said, putting her index finger to her chin as if she were in deep thought, "so he's nice, he paid for lunch, even after you offered to pay for half, and you're telling us that he was just a nice guy?! Megumi, that guy wants something and you know it!"

"What?! No! I mean, I don't think so... ," Megumi paused to think about it. In reality, she thought men were scum. She'd been told numerous times, the story about men. There was good news and bad news; the good news is that there are two absolutely perfect men in the world, the bad news is they're both gay, married to each other and already have three adopted children. That was how she had learned to think of men, guys, boys, males, whatever you want to call them, either way, it was all a great big penis embargo. "But still," Megumi continued, "once in a while, if you look hard enough, you'll find a nice guy out there. They can't all just want to get in your pants all the time, can they? Well, anyway, Sanosuke didn't seem to be like that at all. He was actually quite the gentleman, which in my book is worth a great deal of points. Sure, once in a while he'd end up talking to my breasts, but then, he is a guy. I can forgive that."

"Wake up, Megumi!" Mina said and she gave her friend a weak push, "Just wake up and smell the roses, Meg! You of all people should know just how low men can go to get what they want! Don't tell me you forgot about Kanryu already?! You know how...!"

"Shut up, Mina!" Megumi shouted, startling them all into silence, "Of course I remember that asshole! It's not like it's one of those live-and-forget-about-it things! I am trying to forget about all that, and thank you so much for re-opening the flesh wound. I know very well about how horrible men can be, but Jesus, Mina! Not all of them can be like that! You can't go around pointing in people's faces and calling them bastards before even knowing them! Get over yourself, Mina. Grow up and just accept the fact that not everyone is who they appear to be."

Mina was shocked speechless. Never before did Megumi shout at her in anger, or at anyone for that matter, well, not to Mina's recollection anyway. She instantly regretted bringing up Kanryu to Megumi; she knew it was a touchy subject, but the words just kind of rolled off her tongue and out of her mouth before she could stop them and swallow them back up. Mina was just trying to look after her friends, but she ended up pushing the wrong buttons sometimes when she tried to have them see from her point of view. Mina herself didn't have such great stories about men. There were no knights in shining armor for her, no bed of roses in her room, and no one galloping on a white horse to rescue her from a castle. It was all in the land of fairy tale that Mina believed didn't existed and thought that whoever thought otherwise was being taught a whole truck load of bullshit. Mina sighed and shook her head.

"You're right, I judge people too quickly," Mina said with her head down, she didn't want to look at the flare in Megumi's cinnamon brown eyes because she knew that she was probably crying, "I'm sorry for bringing up Kanryu. I know it's not one of your favorite things to talk about. I was just looking out for you."

"Thanks Mina, I appreciate it, but I think I can look out for myself now," Megumi replied, her back straightening a bit, "I'm all growed up!" That got a smile out of her and everyone else, leaving the tension behind. "Come on, let's get something to eat before we drop off Kaoru, and Tsubame and I have to go to work," Megumi said and they all headed to the eatery for some pizza from Sbarro's. 

Taking a seat at a nearby table, everyone sat down with their food, and Megumi pulled out the 'Bible' and began flipping through the pages as she ate. Mina and Tsubame leaned in to take a look and read what was inside while Kaoru stole quick glances here and there whenever Mina, Megumi, or Tsubame made a comment about something. As they flipped through the book, Mina cleared her throat to get their attention, suddenly remembering her deal with her red-headed friend, Kenshin.

"So did you guys hear the latest stuff about Kenshin?" Mina asked and Kaoru quickly brought her full attention to her, turning her entire body around to hear what she had to say about the familiar rurouni she had learned to look for around lunch time in the cafeteria. Mina barely noticed the unmistakable glint in her sapphire eyes at the mention of his name and she also failed to realize the intense curiosity Kaoru held for anything even remotely related to Kenshin.

"Well, the thing about Kenshin is that he's really quiet right, but actually that guy can really surprise you. Kenshin doesn't seem to be 'Big Man on campus,' right? Hehe, pun intended, if you catch my drift in the big area, but actually this guy is definitely loaded." 

As if on cue, Kenshin appeared just then, followed by Sanosuke with a big smile on his face. They had seen the girls on their way to get in line for food and decided to stop by and say hey. They were actually just trying to pass time until Yahiko beeped them to get home and check their e-mail for the Yumi cam and both had no idea that they had walked over in the best moment possible.

"Hey Kaoru! How have you been? I haven't talked to you in a while, that I haven't! Mina, Tsubame, Megumi, how are you?" Kenshin said to the girls that now knew his little secret, or maybe I should say, not so little. Kaoru gazed at him, a look of impishness in her dark sapphire eyes and she gave him a seductive smile.

"Hellllo Kenshin," all the girls said in unison, keeping in mind their new found knowledge of his ahem equipment, Mina only smiled and examined her handy work. Kenshin looked at them all, a little confused by their strange behavior and the glazed looks in their eyes as they batted their eyelashes at him. Kenshin rubbed his eyes a bit to make sure he was seeing correctly and sure enough, when he opened his eyes back up, they were all still beaming up at him.

Sanosuke scratched his head in puzzlement to the girls' attitudes towards Kenshin, knowing that there was definitely something up and he wanted to know what. Leaning over to Megumi, he asked her what was making them all so dreamy eyed. Sanosuke learned the hard way that trying to keep the envy from his voice seemed to be the most difficult task in the world. That is, until he heard what she whispered in answer, then trying hard not to laugh seemed to claim number one on his list of impossible things to do.

"No, he doesn't!" Sanosuke exclaimed out loud and all the girls gave him questioning looks, which he automatically dismissed when he remembered the deal he made with Kenshin to agree to whatever rumors were going around about him. "I mean... who told you that?!" Sano asked, widely curious as to who could've made up such a ridiculous story and he watched Megumi turn and point in Mina's direction. 

"I see..." Sanosuke said as he was tempted to tell Megumi that she was being told the biggest piece of crap ever, but he remembered the deal he had made with Kenshin to agree to whatever rumor was being spread about him and he kept his mouth shut. 'There is no freakin' way he's as big as she says he is,' Sanosuke thought in disbelief, 'that's like... physically impossible!' Sanosuke was also equally tempted to just lean in a little closer to Megumi and... 'No!' Sanosuke thought, fighting the urge inside him, 'Remember, you're trying to be that Prince Charming guy and he wouldn't do that. Not yet anyway... Stop thinking hentai!' He mentally kicked himself and his attention suddenly fell on something Kaoru was sitting on.

"Hey Little Missy, what you got there?" Sanosuke asked, nodding his head towards the book and all the girls fell silent. Kaoru frantically pushed the book farther under her bottom to hide it from his and Kenshin's view and tried her best to give them an innocent smile.

"Nothing!" all the girls shouted at the same time. Sanosuke turned to Megumi for an explanation, but she turned away, embarrassed by almost being caught with the book. Kaoru turned bright red as she kept her position sitting on top of the book, holding firmly to the edge of the seat so she couldn't be moved.

"What is it?" Kenshin asked, becoming very curious to the suspicious reactions of the women when they referred to the book, "Lemme see!"

"No!" Kaoru protested and Mina almost laughed at her uncomfortable status. She bit her lip to keep from cracking up as Tsubame shifted uncomfortably and Megumi started to nervously play with her hair. This only made wanting to find out what the book was even more intriguing to the guys and Kenshin tried again.

"I'll give it back, I promise, just let me see," Kenshin said, moving a little closer to Kaoru and trying to move her from her position over the book, "I won't take it, I swear! I'm just curious as to what it is, that I am."

"Uh.... It's a history book," Kaoru lied and everyone sweat dropped at her lame excuse, but somehow, Kenshin found it plausible enough. He nodded and simply backed off from advancing on the book.

"Alright then," Kenshin said and he settled back down in his chair across from her, satisfied with her answer and Kaoru instantly relaxed when he was fully seated in his chair. If he found out that she had been looking at the porn-like book, she never would have lived it down. Even now, just thinking about being caught with it was enough to burn her face ruby colored.

Trying to clear the air of it's tension, Megumi faked a cough and that seemed to break the silence a little bit. She could tell that Sanosuke didn't believe Kaoru's little history book story by the look on his face and she wasn't about to tell him what the book really was.

"I gotta get going," Tsubame interjected, getting up from her seat, "I've got to be at the Akabeko in about twenty minutes for my work shift so I'll see you all later."

"Bye," Mina called and Tsubame waved before she walked off to the parking lot to her car.

"I gotta get going too," Megumi said, checking her watch, "the clinic is gonna need me in a little less then an hour and I need to catch a cab. Kaoru, you keep the uh... history book for tonight and just give it to me tomorrow, okay? Talk to you guys later!"

"Megumi, I can't take the... history book!" Kaoru protested in panic, almost forgetting the lie she made up about it as she practically called it porno, "I can't take it, you take it!" Megumi rolled her eyes.

"Just take it for now, Kaoru," Megumi repeated, trying to keep the annoyance from her voice as she told her friend again to take the book home with her, "now, I've got to catch a cab. I can't argue with you about this anymore, I gotta go. Just bring it later to my house for the sleepover. Bye now!"

"Wait up, Megumi!" Sanosuke said, quickly getting up from his seat and in his haste, stumbled over the chair and knocked it over. And just like dominos, his chair fell, followed by about fifteen others in the entire eatery, the clamor of the impact erupting throughout the mall like a set of fireworks and Sanosuke flinched at every one that fell over. When all the damage was done, he nervously scratched his head, thinking about doing a disappearing like Yahiko did before, but decided against it. "Whoops... eheheh... my bad... ANYWAYS... Fox, if you need a ride, I can drive you there if you want. You don't have to go take a cab or anything, I'll take you there. Kenshin, I'll catch you at your house when Yahiko pages me, alright? Come on, Fox, let's go."

"Whatever you say, Rooster-Head," Megumi replied as she followed him out to his car, stepping over a few fallen chairs in the process and then having to run the rest of the way there to avoid the mall security at their heels. It was obvious to everyone left at the table that there was some definite chemistry going on between the two, more than just the electricity coursing through the security guards tazers, something more than that, even if they hadn't exactly said so.

"So, what exactly is in this history book that we can't see, huh?" Sanosuke asked, still curious about her discomfort about telling him, "What kind of history are you girls learning that me and Kenshin can't learn? Is it some kind of code or something?"

"Forget it, Sanosuke," Megumi said and she pointed at the next street ahead, "turn left here. It's really nothing. It's obviously not a history book, I'll give you that much, and as you can see, Kaoru isn't very good at this lying-off-the-top-of-her-head thing. Don't worry about it... It's the next building on the right... Just forget it."

"No way, now I'm really curious!" Sanosuke exclaimed, turning into the parking lot Megumi had pointed out of the nearby medical clinic. He put the gear in park and turned off the engine, turning to look at her so they could continue to talk. "Ah, come on, you can tell me," he coaxed, "I promise, I won't tell Kenshin! Come on, you can't leave me hangin' like this!" Megumi smiled at his attempt at persuading her to tell him, but her ground never wavered. "I'll treat you out to ice cream later if you tell me!" Sanosuke tried again, this time with a bribe and Megumi giggled and shook her head, "What? You don't like ice cream? Okay, a movie then! Come on, don't just get me all riled up for nothing. I won't tell a soul, I swear!"

"Don't you give me that baby-seal-about-to-be-clubbed-look!" Megumi protested.

"Why, is it working?" he asked, his pout never dropping.

"You can't use that! Illegal move!" Megumi objected and she turned away so she wouldn't have to be tormented by his cute little begging baby face, her eyebrow twitching at the slight leaning she felt to answer him, "Okay, okay. If I tell you, will you stop looking at me like that?"

"Tell me and you can brand me, hit me over the head, and sell me over the counter for three yen a pound!" Sanosuke said, eager to hear what the book was, "Now, are you gonna tell me or what?"

"Okay, okay, fine!" Megumi said, putting her hands up in surrender, "I'll tell you. It's the Bible for our generation."

"Huh? What, that's it?!" Sanosuke asked, "Well, that doesn't tell me anything! What's inside this Bible then, huh?"

"Hey! You told me to tell you what it was, not what was inside!" Megumi said with a shake of her finger, "So I told you and that's that. Ohohohohohoho!"

"Well, that's not... Jeez, you really are a fox..." Sanosuke said as he shook his head at her, "And after I volunteered to give you a ride to work, paid for lunch earlier, and told you that you could sell me for cow meat, all I get is a Bible... Hm, things have been going downhill for me lately, I guess..."

"I'll tell you what, I won't tell you what's inside the book, but I can say thank you for being so nice as to giving me a ride to work, paying for lunch earlier, and for allowing me to sell you for beef," Megumi said with a smile, "and I'm going to ask you to prom. So you wanna go?"

"Sure! Yeah, that'd be great!" Sanosuke said, glad that she had beaten him to the chase in the asking-to-go-to-prom department since it saved him the work of doing it himself, "I guess you have a way for making up for things."

"Yeah, well, I gotta give you some credit. I mean, I don't know very many people that would give me permission to brand them, hit them on the head, and chop them up for beef at the market," Megumi replied, and both burst out laughing, "Look, I gotta go to work, but I'll see you tomorrow at school then?"

"Yeah, see ya at school," he agreed and Megumi closed the car door after her. But before she got too far away, Sanosuke shouted from the window, "I'll call you!" a little too eagerly. Megumi turned and nodded, then continued walking to the clinic, not even once turning back as she entered the hospital and Sanosuke watched her disappear into the building. Turning back to the steering wheel, Sanosuke honked the horn of his beat-up old jeep a dozen times to drown out his yelling of, "SCORE BABY!!!!"   
  
  
  


A/N: This chapter was all original. None of this happened in the movie, well, except the part about the choir chick asking Oz to prom, but besides that, all my original work. I know, it sucks huh? Yeah, I don't really like this chapter, but I needed it to expand more on the girls of this story since the movie doesn't really show too much about them and bases it solely on the guys. It wasn't all that funny as the other ones, but I promise, I'll make up for it in the next chapter. The other couples are in this too, but that's in the following chapters. Sorry, I'm not going to get into what happened to Megumi sophomore year with Kanryu, I'm saving explanation stuff for my ending epilogue of interesting facts. Hopefully people will still be reading up to that point. Anyway, love it? Hate it? Let me know by clicking on that little button at the bottom of the page. Creative criticism and suggestions are welcome. Let me know if there's anything remotely wrong or unlikeable about the story and I'll do my best to fix it. Otherwise, let me know if it's good and I should keep this going or not. Thanks! P.S. Be prepared for pie!


	8. The Guys' Point of View

Disclaimer: Nope, sorry, don't own RK or American Pie, but feel free to watch both!

  
  


Chapter 7:

"The Guys' Point of View"

  
  


"Alright, here we go," Yahiko said to himself as he adjusted his computer camera to focus on the center of his room. After making sure it was at a perfect angle viewing the bed, he turned off the computer screen, but kept the computer running so that he could record Yumi when she got there. Quickly, Yahiko paged Sanosuke and Saito, letting them know to open up their e-mail and start watching in a few minutes.

"Yahiko! I need to run some errands, okay? I'll be back in a little while," Okina called from downstairs, "Oh yeah! Before I forget! I also got you a nice snack, it's here on the kitchen counter if you want to share it with that study buddy of yours! I'll be back soon!"

"Okay! See you later, Grandpa!" Yahiko hollered back as he bounded down the steps to see what kind of snack Okina had left for him. His stomach had been rumbling for the last half hour, but he had been too busy setting up his computer to really do anything about it and a snack right about now seemed to be very appealing. His eyes shot to the treat on the counter and he picked up the note his grandfather had left beside it. It read: 

Dear Yahiko,

I took the liberty of buying you a pie! It's apple, your favorite! Enjoy!

From, Grandpa

Yahiko looked from the note to the pie back to the note, reading the part of what kind of pie it was over and over again. After doing this for several minutes, Sanosuke's words echoed into his brain, 'Like warm apple pie,' he had said. Again, the yellow light bulb shone over his head as he got an unusual idea. For a minute he frowned, thinking about what it was that was going through his mind, wondering if he could actually do it. But, curiosity got the best of him and soon his hunger was completely forgotten. Putting two fingers up in the position Sanosuke had showed them, Yahiko pushed down in the middle of the pie, feeling around it's insides a little bit for experimentation, and smiled at the warm apple sauce that enveloped his fingers. After a few minutes of that, Yahiko smiled in satisfaction and he gave a nervous laugh as he was suddenly overcome with an even better idea. 

'Nah, I can't do that...' Yahiko thought, a little skeptical about his newly found experimenting, but the temptation was too great, 'Or can I....? Well, if I'm gonna, I better do this quick before Yumi comes over or Grandpa comes back...' Quickly, Yahiko put his plan into action, pulling down his pants, and getting right on top of the pie.

  
  


Okina had been driving down the road for a few minutes, passing right by a stop sign as he ogled a pretty girl on the street. Actually the woman was a hooker and she got him to stop the car, telling him she was worth fifty yen. Thinking that was a pretty good deal, Okina reached into his pocket for his wallet only to realize that he had forgotten it at home.

"Uh...can you wait right here please?" Okina asked as he started up the car again, grinning sheepishly at his bad luck, "I need to get home and get my wallet. I'll be right back, don't go anywhere!" Okina then sped off with lightning speed, totally over passing the speed limit in his rush to get home and get his money. Not wanting the girl to change her mind and find some other customer, he ran to the door and almost had a heart attack at what he saw in the kitchen.

"Yahiko?!!! What in the hell are you doing to the damn pie?!!!" Okina demanded, bewildered to his grandson's strange way of masturbating, "Get your dick outta there right now!"

"Uh... Grandpa, just relax, okay? I was just... uh... experimenting..." Yahiko replied nervously trying to cover himself as he got off of the pie.

"Experimenting with baked goods?!!!" Okina exclaimed, thinking his grandson had finally hit his head hard enough in one of his many random acts of clumsiness, "Okay, well, that was a waste of a perfectly good pie... Uh, you can just give it to some of your friends at school if you want!"

"EW, Grandpa, that's sick!" Yahiko protested, "I'm not gonna give my friends a piece of pie that I was uh... using...!" 

Just then there was a knock at the door and Yahiko ran to open it, glad to have an excuse to get away from the awkward looks from his grandfather and the mortification he experienced with actually liking his little pie ordeal. Pulling up his pants and zipping up the zipper, Yahiko threw open the door to find Yumi in her black dance outfit with her history book in hand.

"Hi Yahiko!" Yumi said, a small smile on her face, "Ready to study?"

"Hello, young lady!" Okina said, quickly going over to shake her hand before Yahiko could even say a word, "Oh yes. Yahiko is always ready to study! He's so smart! And he...!"

"Grandpa!" Yahiko said angrily, hinting for him to get out of the room and leave him alone with Yumi. The girl had just arrived and she was probably already thinking he was a moron. He motioned with his eyes for him to head to the door and Okina slowly slunk away with an apologetic bow. Yahiko breathed a sigh of relief once the old man was out of sight and he turned back to the girl he would soon be peeping on. "Sorry about that," Yahiko said, motioning to the door that his grandpa had just exited from, "well, you wanna go upstairs and study now?"

"Sure," Yumi said with a shrug and she took a few steps up the stairs before she paused and turned back around, "Actually, I'm kinda hungry. Do you have anything to eat?"

"As a matter of fact, we do!" Okina yelled excitedly, finally finding a moment in his eavesdropping to interrupt and he ran back into the room with the pie, "We have pie!"

"Quick, Yumi! Up the stairs! Up the stairs!" Yahiko warned, shoving her up the rest of the steps as his grandfather pushed the pie in front of her face. Yumi, of course, was extremely confused as to why Yahiko didn't want her to eat the pastry, but she simply obeyed his desperate cries of getting away from his grandfather since the pie didn't exactly look all that appetizing anyway, especially with that huge hole in the middle.

'Crazy old man!' Yahiko thought as he ushered Yumi into his room, 'I've really gotta get rid of that pie somehow... Oh well, I'll do it later. Now, time for some fun!'

"Okay, um... you can change in here if you want," Yahiko said to her, half-way closing the door, "I'll be downstairs so just let me know when you're done. I'll go start studying, not doing anything, just studying. Heh... Yeah... Just lemme know when you're done. " Yumi nodded, not at all suspicious as to what Yahiko was blabbering about, and Yahiko closed the door behind him.

As soon as the door was closed, Yahiko ran full speed down the stairs, tripping over a few things he had left on the stairs earlier in his haste to get to Kenshin's house which was more than a few blocks away. He fell down over the three remaining steps and hit the floor. "Ow!" he complained, grabbing for his aching arm, but he got back up as fast as he could, ignoring the pain in his elbow and jumped over the hedges in his yard so he could get to Kenshin's house and watch Yumi get dressed. 

He gritted his teeth, threw open the door to Kenshin's house, gave a friendly wave to his parents in the living room, and ran right up the stairs to his room where Sanosuke and Kenshin were already sitting in front of the computer. At seeing him enter, Sanosuke held up his bottle of beer and pushed the chair towards Yahiko.

"Dude, you're just in time!" Sanosuke said to his exhausted friend, and then focused his attention back to the computer screen, something much more interesting than watching Yahiko sweat to death. Yahiko sat down, panting, and completely out of breath and Kenshin handed him his own beer.

"Are you guys sure we should be watching this?" Kenshin asked, always the polite sucker, "Yumi might get really mad if she finds out..."

"And how's she gonna find out?" Yahiko asked, taking a swig of his beer, "She doesn't have any idea that we're watching her right now and... Whoa! Why is she touching my stuff?! Oh crap! She found the book!"

"So, let her look at it!" Sanosuke said, trying to calm Yahiko down, "It doesn't matter if she found the book or not, she probably thinks you're a pervert already so just settle your ass down and enjoy the show! Okay, there goes the shirt! Ooh... Well, she takes her vitamins..."

  
  


Meanwhile, at Saito's house, Saito is watching in front of his computer, trying hard not to drool. 'This is the coolest thing I've ever gotten away with!' he thought as he watched Yumi flip through some kind of book Yahiko had, her shirt already gone and on the floor. She seemed pretty intent on reading whatever it was in her hands, that is, until her hand slid lower. 'Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! She's gonna...'

"Whatcha looking for down there, Yumi?" Saito said out loud, "Man, Yahiko, if I were you, I'd get in there right now and help her out or something! That moron..."

  
  


"You know, if you ever had a chance with Yumi, this is it," Sanosuke said to Yahiko, unaware that Saito was thinking the exact same thing at the same moment, "You should get your ass over there and..."

"And what?!" Yahiko asked, sure that Sanosuke really needed a vacation time at the nut house if he thought that he, Yahiko, actually stood a chance of getting together with Yumi, the hottest girl in all of Jinchuu High, "What am I supposed to do?"

"Seduce her!" Kenshin unexpectedly shouted out before he could stop himself, causing both Yahiko and Sanosuke to turn to him in surprise to his outburst and Kenshin blushed as red as his hair. "I mean, uh.... tell her that it's time you two started studying, that it is...," Kenshin tried to correct, but found that he really didn't go along with what he was saying and he threw up his arms in exasperation, "Hell, Yahiko! Just go over there and seduce that half-naked woman!"

"He's right! Go, just go!" Sanosuke agreed, pushing Yahiko out the door, "Get out of here! She's probably just waiting for you to go in there and see her or something! Don't pass up on this once in a lifetime opportunity, you little ingrate! Now, go get yourself some action!"

"Yeah! Yeah, I will! Okay, I'm gonna go!" Yahiko shouted and after a few more encouraging shouts from himself and his friends, he darted to the door. 

Sanosuke shook his head, settled back down in his chair and took another swig of his beer, saying, "What a dumbass..." Kenshin sighed as well, his way of agreeing with what Sanosuke had just said about Yahiko's stalling and he hoped that Yahiko wouldn't embarrass himself too bad. Yumi was a little out of his league, but just the fact that she was half-naked in his room, did give him about an ounce more of succeeding to have sex with her. Kenshin crossed his fingers and said a silent prayer for his friend's well being. 

  
  


Yahiko rushed back to his house, even faster then he had run from his house to Kenshin's, this time a whole new mission at stake. 'Gotta get laid, gotta get laid, gotta get laid...' Yahiko chanted as he ran, jumping over the hedges again and bounding up the stairs, careful not to trip this time.

The phone at Kenshin's house rang at that moment and Kenshin leaned over to pick it up off the hook. He was a bit annoyed about the interruption of the 'show,' but he picked it up anyway and tried his best to sound cheery to whoever dared to call him at such bad timing.

"Hello?"

"Looks like Yahiko sent the e-mail wrong," Chou said on the other line, "the video was sent to everyone's mail box in the whole south side of Tokyo... He really should have been more careful..."

  
  


Hiko relaxed in his chair, turning on his laptop to check his e-mail, and he leaned back and closed his eyes. Today had been a stressful day for the school's lacrosse team coach and he figured that reading a few e-mails from friends could help ease the pounding of his temples, a sure sign of an oncoming migraine. But, the opening e-mail he received was a strange one. There was a young girl, Hiko recognized her from school, laying on a bed and masturbating to some dirty book.

Hiko's eyes widened at the sight and he cautiously checked around the room he was in to make sure no one saw what he was looking at. Seeing that there was no one around, Hiko continued to watch to his heart's content, the migraine slowly fading. Suddenly, the door behind the girl in the video started to pull open and Hiko straightened up to watch. 'Hey! I know that kid!' Hiko thought to himself as he recognized Yahiko coming in through the door, 'He's the one that was wacking off in the locker room a few days ago!'

  
  


At first they thought something horrible had happened to their friend the first time they heard her yell, but really, Megumi had just called Kaoru, Tsubame, and Mina over to the computer to check out the interesting e-mail she had just received. They had all been watching a sappy chick flick called, 'She's All That,' when Megumi had just insisted that they look at what was on the computer screen. It didn't take long for inquisitiveness to overcome them and in a matter of seconds, all the girls were gathered around the Windows 95.

Mina focused her eyes on the girl in the picture and in realizing that it was Yumi, Mina burst out laughing. A little less humored, Kaoru maximized the screen when she saw the door move and a young man come inside; the e-mail suddenly becoming a whole lot more interesting.

"Hey! It's Yahiko!" Kaoru cried, pointing at Yahiko standing behind Yumi by the door, "What is he gonna do?!" Tsubame anxiously grabbed onto the computer screen to get a closer look. If Kaoru was lying to her, she would just love to wring her neck, but sure enough, the guy on screen was Yahiko.

  
  


Shishio paused at the picture on his computer screen. 'Yeah, that's definitely Yumi,' he thought, 'I'd recognize those jugs anywhere! Hey! I know that guy! I think he's in my Drama class!' But his amusement soon wilted like a sunflower in the hottest day in summer as he watched Yahiko silently close the door behind him and move over closer to Shishio's current love interest.

  
  


"It looks like you could use an extra hand," Yahiko replied as smoothly as he could muster up; he even took the liberty of winking at her even though she had her back turned. Immediately, Yumi shot up from where she was lying down on the bed and sat up against the bed frame.

"Yahiko! What are you doing here?!" Yumi shouted, pulling on one of Yahiko's over-shirts to cover herself, "How long have you been there?!"

"Ohohoho... long enough..." Yahiko replied, his nervousness increasing by the second, "Look, I'm sorry... This was a bad idea, a very bad idea, um... I guess I should just go and let you uh... finish up here..."

"Well, you have seen me, now it's my turn to see you," Yumi said, a suggestive glint in her eyes and she pointed to the middle of the room, "Strip!"

"What?! What do you mean, 'Strip'?!" Yahiko exclaimed, extremely panicked and aware that there was a video camera recording this whole thing, "Here?! Now?!"

"Mm hm..." Yumi replied with a nod, "Over there, Peeping Tom, right where I can see you. Come on, Yahiko, move!"

It wasn't a request, it was a command and as Yumi reached over to grab onto his alarm clock radio, Yahiko realized that there was no way he was getting out of this one. She smiled, setting it to a fast dance mix and she shooed him over to the middle of the room, exactly in front of the computer camera. Yahiko wanted to run out of there as soon as possible, but the chance that he could get with Yumi was all too much to ignore. If this was in fact his only chance with her, he didn't want to screw it up. 'Just do whatever she tells you,' Yahiko thought to himself, 'Just let her boss you around a little bit, be her bitch! Now move your ass before she changes her mind!'

Yahiko stuttered a bit before starting to move around the room, mixing some dance moves with the Macarena and the YMCA dance as well. Yumi burst out laughing when Yahiko made numerous pelvic thrusts in the air as he struggled to pull off his shirt. Swinging it over his head, he threw it over to cover the camera, but he didn't realize that his shirt soon fell off only seconds later; much to all his anonymous viewers delight. Pulling up the chair, Yahiko began dancing on it, something Yumi found very amusing.

  
  


"What the hell is this?!" Sanosuke exclaimed disgustedly. He had been expecting to see Yumi, not Yahiko dancing around in his underwear and turned to Kenshin for his opinion, but Kenshin was now dancing around as well, shaking his butt around and jumping up and down. Sanosuke had no idea who was a worse dancer, Yahiko or Kenshin, either way, it was just plain disturbing. "Hey, cut it out, man!" Sanosuke shouted, but when Kenshin still didn't stop, Sanosuke rolled his eyes and pushed him over, startling the red head from his dance craze and he shouted a surprised, "Oro!"

  
  


All the girls at Megumi's sleepover burst out laughing at Yahiko's performance and Mina, in the spirit of their humor, got up and started imitating his 'cool moves.' Tsubame was cracking up on the floor, despite the fact that Yahiko looked like a complete idiot and she should have been feeling sorry for him. Kaoru maximized the screen to full so they could see better and they all hooted with laughter when they saw him pull up the chair.

  
  


Hiko fell from his seat, laughing so hard that his cheeks hurt, hardly able to contain his civil state of mind. The janitor, outside in the hallway, passed by his office, on his daily regimen of mopping up the hallways. At seeing the usually calm and collected lacrosse coach rolling on the floor, the janitor gave Hiko a strange look, who was holding his stomach, and the man shrugged and carried on cleaning up the school.

"That guy's god damn hilarious!" Hiko shouted in laughter.

  
  


Saito was now recording the whole scenario on a CD, snickering through the small puffs he made with his cigarette, all the while planning that he was going to sell it at school for seventy yen a piece tomorrow.

  
  


"Okay, Yahiko, that's enough," Yumi purred and she patted the small space on the bed next to her, "Come here now."

"Oh yeah, baby!" Yahiko exclaimed, finally able to stop his ridiculous dancing and get to the fun part, but unfortunately because of his lack of experience, he awkwardly sat down next to her on his bed. The nervousness came back over him suddenly as he remembered just exactly how he had seen this done a million times on the Playboy channel. He gulped down loads of saliva that had built up in his throat and let her pick up his hand, smoothing it over her bare legs, moving closer and closer to her underwear.

"You still up for giving me a hand?" she asked him as he got closer to the foreign area of her womanhood and suddenly, Yahiko winced. He instantly pulled his hand away, grabbing for his hardened arousal in hopes of stopping the inevitable, but it was too late. "Yahiko?" Yumi asked, not in concern, but more in disappointment, knowing exactly what happened as he turned to his side. Yumi let out a big sigh and grabbed her bag. "I guess, that's all then," she said solemnly, "I better get going now ..."

"Oh no, wait up, Yumi!" Yahiko protested, trying his best to keep her from leaving him alone in his room, again, to just imagine and want, but to never actually know. He was through with dreaming, he wanted reality. "I got excess! I'm still good! You like my book, right? Well, you can look at it some more if you want! Let's see here, we got lots of interesting stories in here..."

"Well, that's an idea...." Yumi said, pausing in her packing to look over his shoulder at the porn covered pages, "It is a very interesting book..."

"Uh...Yeah! Did you see the part about all the positions for every day of the week?!" Yahiko asked, now desperate for her to stay and he flipped through the book several times before he suddenly exclaimed, "And porn! I got lots of that! You like porn?!"

"Yahiko, I have a feeling that you really want me try this again..." Yumi said quietly and she pushed all the dirty magazines and things on his bed off to the side and she climbed back on, "I guess you can have two strikes, huh?" With that, Yumi slowly slipped off her underwear and tossed it to the side; the barrier Yahiko couldn't trespass now gone.

"Holy shit...." Yahiko whispered, his eyes wide and his jaw practically hitting the ground.

  
  


"Holy shit!" Kenshin and Sanosuke murmured at the same time as they watched the very cool twisting plot of Yahiko's little adventure.

  
  


"Holy god damn shit," Hiko said, covering his mouth with his hand to keep from yelling for the guy about to score.

  
  


"Holy shit!" all the girls screamed at Megumi's house, all four sets of eyes glued to the computer screen and the new event about to go on.

  
  


Yumi took Yahiko's hand, traveling it down her stomach, passing her abdomen, and tracing over her navel, settling right on top of a particular sensitive part of her body. And low and behold, Yahiko pulled his hand away again, right before he could reach his destination and he leaned forward to hide the repetitive embarrassment. This time, Yahiko didn't stop Yumi when she packed up her stuff to leave. She didn't even say good-bye on her way out after getting her clothes back on and Yahiko was too embarrassed to pity himself. 

Yahiko fell over onto his side, totally forgetting that the camera was still there and he whispered out loud, "Not again..."

  
  


Watching from his own computer at home, Chou shook his head at the stupid moron who had just missed his chance scoring with a girl like Yumi. He sighed and turned off his computer, knowing that if he even had one tiny bit of liking towards the guy, that he would feel sorry for him, but since that wasn't the case, he didn't.

"What a loser," Chou said, getting up from the seat in his room, "he'll never hear the end of it at school..."

  
  
  
  


A/N: Let's all give Yahiko a round of applause for being such a good sport throughout this whole thing. loud applause Okay, enough of that. ^_^ Sorry if that was a little too explicit for any of you, but I dunno, call me weird, I enjoyed writing it. I found it funny, but lemme know what YOU think. I liked to indulge a little bit and add a few extra interesting viewers to watch Yahiko's um... interesting performance, just so it would be funnier. Anyways, the next chapter is the girl's point of view of watching the e-mail with a few interesting prank phone calls that I decided to put in. Please review and let me know how I can improve some things. Sorry for those K/K fans out there, but I swear they ARE in later chapters, just wait. Remember, patience is a virtue. And just so you know, I mostly revolve around S/M 'cause they're my favorite couple so expect to see them a little more than any other couples. And by the way, I based Hiko on the coach from the movie, 'Not Another Teen Movie' instead of the one in 'American Pie' so for those of you who haven't seen it, the coach always says, "god damn it!" For my ending, I'll have a mass number count of how many times he's said it so you can count as well if you like. ^_^ Hope you liked the pie! Later!

  
  
  
  



	9. The Girls' Point of View

Disclaimer: No suing of the writer, okay? I own nothing. Now, with that said, on with the story.  
  


Chapter 8:

"The Girls' Point of View"  
  


"Alright, come on already, put in the movie, Megumi!" Tsubame called, getting very impatient with Megumi's slow movements towards the VCR.

"The movie's on the kitchen counter, Tsubame," Megumi called from her room upstairs, "Go ahead and get started without me! I just want to check my e-mail really quick!"

Megumi heard Tsubame call out an 'okay,' which didn't help in covering up her annoyed groan for having to get up from where she was so comfortably seated and actually use those things in her body called muscles. Sighing, Megumi shook her head at her friend's lazy attitude and she turned back to her computer, switching on the monitor and the computer box. It began the start up when Mina hollered from downstairs.

"Hey, Meg! How do you start up the microwave?" Mina asked, confusedly scratching her head, trying to figure out how to set the microwave to the time requested on the popcorn instructions. Megumi rolled her eyes and went downstairs, leaving the computer on to go help her friend with such a simple task as pressing a few buttons.

"Here, let me do it," Megumi volunteered, pushing Mina aside and she pressed the button for four minutes and the microwave started up, "Alright, did Tsubame put the movie in yet?"

"Guys! The movie's starting, hurry up!" Kaoru shouted from the living room and both girls in the kitchen raced over to the couch to watch their favorite movie. Kaoru insisted on watching up close, her nose almost pressing up against the TV screen so that she could see Freddie Prinze Junior's every single nook and cranny. The girl was obsessed with the actor, she knew just about everything there was to know about him, some things I'm sure the guy doesn't even know about himself! But she wasn't the only one. All the girls at the sleepover had a thing for the star on screen of their favorite movie, 'She's All That.' 

The movie started up and after a few insistent beeps from the microwave, Tsubame got up to get the popcorn. On her way to the kitchen, she noticed a tiny light coming out of Megumi's room and she walked back to the living room, popcorn bowl in hand to go tell her about it.

"Hey, Meg, I think you left something on in your room," Tsubame said, pointing towards the stairs to indicate the light she had seen, and she handed Kaoru the popcorn bowl, "there's a light on in there."

"Oh, yeah! I left the computer on!" Megumi exclaimed and she went back upstairs to her room to turn it off. The image on her screen that appeared though, stopped her dead in her tracks as her hand moved over to the power switch. "Oh my God!" she cried, startling all her friends downstairs, "Guys! You have got to come see this!"

Reluctant to miss even a minute of seeing Freddie Prinze Junior's face, everyone rushed up the steps at her second yell and gathered around Megumi's computer, curious as to what surprised her so much. Their eyes fell on the scene in front of them; a video of a masturbating Yumi and nervous Yahiko. Tsubame gaped at her crush standing in the background and heard him say something along the lines of, "Looks like you need an extra hand."

"Hey! It's Yahiko!" Kaoru exclaimed, pointing at the spiky haired boy on screen, "What's he gonna do?!"

"I don't think I wanna know!" Tsubame said, but she continued to watch anyways, against her will of seeing him with another girl, "What the hell?! Why's she getting out the radio?"

"This ought to be interesting..." Mina said as she got comfortable in Megumi's chair and crossed her arms over her chest, beginning to nod her head to the sound of the dance mix that was playing, "Hey! I think he's stripping!"

"You call that stripping?!" Megumi said through her laughter and pointing at Yahiko's dancing figure in front of them, "That guy has no idea what the hell he's doing! Just look at him for crying out loud! He's not exactly Chip and Dale material if you get what I'm saying..."

"Megumi, the socks on my feet, know what you're saying!" Mina joked and they all burst out laughing, "He's really getting into this, isn't he? Haha! Look at him go! Go Yahiko, it's your birthday!" Much to all the girls' amusement, Mina got up from her seat and began imitating Yahiko's movements as best as she could and all the girls fell onto the floor laughing.

"Kaoru, go turn off the TV downstairs," Tsubame ordered her friend, her eyes still not able to be pried off the monitor. Kaoru stood up straighter and leaned forward to watch more.

"No way! You go turn off the TV!" Kaoru protested, "I wanna watch this! I'm gonna rub this in his face tomorrow at school!"

That's when Yumi decided to give Yahiko a second chance and she pulled down her underwear, and everyone was stunned into silence.

"Holy shit!" they all said in unison, unaware that there was about a dozen other people saying the exact same thing at that very moment.

"Whoa, Yahiko!" Tsubame said, her mouth hitting the floor when she realized that he had messed up again, "AGAIN?!"

"Oh my God... he did it again..." Megumi murmured, one hand covering her mouth so that her friend's wouldn't hear the soft sound of her foxy laughter.

"Is that even humanly possible?!" Kaoru asked, shocked, "What even happened?! I don't get it!" Everyone sweat dropped at Kaoru's expense and her slow thinking. Leaning over, Mina whispered in her ear exactly what Yahiko had just done. "Ooooh!" Kaoru said, finally understanding a few minutes too late; the obvious depiction of the ultimate virgin, "How sad... I mean, in a pathetic kind of way..."

Megumi shut off the computer then since the show was over and they all sat in silence for a few seconds until they all burst into a fit of giggles and Mina stood up, grabbing Megumi's chair and imitated Yahiko's dancing. They all howled with laughter again and soon they were all imitating the poor senior guy that had just blown his load on the internet. Kaoru of course, wanted no part in the strange dancing, but she thoroughly enjoyed watching all her best friends make idiots out of themselves. After what seemed to be the billionth phone call from about a dozen different neighbors in Megumi's neighborhood, the girls finally settled down enough to at least cover their faces with pillows to smother out the high pitched screams of laughter. 

Completely content with their amusement and cautious as to not get another complaint from the annoying neighbors, Tsubame, Mina, Kaoru and Megumi all went back downstairs, pulling out their sleeping bags from the closet and they slipped inside them for warmth. They put them all together in a circle and started talking as low as they could so that the neighbors wouldn't call the police on them... again. Yup, it was definitely a good time for gossip and Mina had a few things that she needed to say about a certain red headed rurouni that had given her a fair amount of money to do so.

"You know that scar that Kenshin has on his cheek?" Mina asked them and they all nodded, "Well, I hear that it's not really a scar, I heard it was a screwed up tattoo!"

"You lie!" Kaoru half-shouted and Tsubame covered her mouth with her hand as they all started laughing all over again, "You're not serious, are you? 'Cause that would have to be a really screwed up tattoo..."

"Well, that's what I heard!" Mina lied, her hands up in surrender, "I heard that Kenshin paid this guy to give him a cross on his cheek and the guy messed it up so Kenshin kicked his ass! Ooh! And did you guys hear that story about his affair with an older woman?"

The rumors went on like that for hours upon hours, up until the wee hours of the night, way past little children's bedtimes, but not so late that the girls didn't stop saying, "WOW!" after every lie Mina made up about Kenshin. It was after she had indulged a little bit about bending the truth to it's limits that Megumi and Tsubame began to grow weary of hearing anymore about Kenshin. Already their eyes were drooping to the ground, now feeling like lead weights and they yawned so wide a freight train could've gone through the gap in their mouths, but Kaoru remained as awake and attentive as ever, her eyes wide with anxiety and amazement.

"You guys wanna play Dare?" Tsubame asked, looking from one friend to another with curious eyes, ignoring the small pout she received from Kaoru from having to stop the conversation about the man she had grown to practically stalk during lunch hour. They all nodded, except Kaoru of course, who was less enthusiastic, and the three girls seemed to miss the yellow tint in Mina's eyes, glowing with her devious idea.

"I'm asking first!" Mina shouted, standing up from where she was in her sleeping bag as if to claim a foreign land she had just found as her own and she slammed her fist down to mark it, "My victim will be... Tsubame! I dare you to... call up Yahiko and try to sell him dancing videos!" Tsubame's mouth dropped open at the request, hanging so low that it practically touched her collarbone, and all the others started laughing, pushing Megumi's phone book into Tsubame's hands. 

"Call him!" they all insisted and it soon became a chant, one that Tsubame found very difficult to refuse and she was forced to pick up the phone and dial Yahiko's number. Silently praying that he wouldn't pick up, Tsubame shut her eyes as the phone rang for the fourth time and her eyes shot open when a familiar male voice finally picked up.

"Hello?" Yahiko said, a bit groggily. The phone had woken him up from his deep sleep, startling him out of his dream of doing the exact opposite of what happened earlier that day with Yumi and he was pretty upset about it. 'Whoever's on the line better be worth my time!' Yahiko thought as he waited for the person to answer. Yahiko was sure he heard severe giggling in the background, but he brushed it off when a sweet female voice answered.

"Hello, this is uh...Tenko," Tsubame replied nervously, casting a 'I-have-no-idea-what-I'm-doing' look to her friends giggling beside her before she spoke again, "Uh... I was just wondering if you were interested in buying some of our super cool dance videos. They show you how to do the Macarena, the YMCA, and a lot of other kinds of dances. Including strip dancing! Are you interested?" Tsubame had to cover the mouth piece of the phone so Yahiko wouldn't hear them all laughing and she heard Yahiko mutter a few swear words that would've put the South Park movie to shame, on the other line.

"bleep, bleep Mother bleep Piece of bleep, bleep If I ever get my hands on you, I'm gonna bleep kill you, you bleep, bleep!" Yahiko cursed, confused and amazed by the irony of the videos being offered to him after today, "This has got to be the stupidest bleep thing... Oh bleep, yeah, now you want to give me bleep dancing videos, huh? Well, it's too late now! I already got myself bleep embarrassed enough! You can keep your bleep videos for all I bleep care! Is this some kind of sick joke?! If this is, I'm gonna.... Hello?" 

The person on the other line hung up before he could even finish, thus making Yahiko even more frustrated and he slammed the phone down on the receiver, angry for being interrupted of his sleep and mumbling a few more words of furious profanity, he pulled the covers over his head again and tried counting sheep to fall back into a somewhat pleasant slumber.

"That was so mean!" Tsubame complained half-heartedly to her friends, who were now laughing way too hard to even hear her. Honestly, she thought it was pretty hilarious too, but it obviously hurt his feelings and she hated that Mina had actually convinced her into doing such a cruel thing. "Poor Yahiko!" Tsubame said, her conscience finally getting to her, that is, until she realized something pretty important, "Oh my god... Guys, what if he has caller ID?!" Everyone tensed at that, their raucous coming to a complete halt, and they turned to Megumi.

"Well, at least if he does, he'll think Megumi did it!" Kaoru said and Megumi threw a pillow at her with all her might, "Hey! Well, it's true! We are at your house, you know, and we used your phone! But I don't think that matters, Yahiko isn't smart enough to call us back or anything!" Just then, the phone rang and everyone fell completely silent.

"You were saying, Kaoru?" Mina said sarcastically and she turned to Megumi, "Well, aren't you going to answer it? It's your phone!"

"So what?! What if it's Yahiko?!" Megumi shot back, her eyes darting back and forth like a deer in headlights, "I don't care if it's my phone, you pick it up! Go on, I dare you!"

"Jesus, you're all just a bunch of pussies!" Mina exclaimed, rolling her eyes at her friends, and she mouthed a 'You guys suck!' before she picked up the phone, "Hello?... Yeah, uh huh. Yeah, she's right here... Who's calling?... Okay, one second... Megumi, it's for you!"

"Well, who is it?!" Megumi asked, looking at the phone as if it were some kind of poisonous snake ready to bite her and fill her with it's venom, "It's not an enraged Yahiko, is it? 'Cause I'm not up for being yelled at!"

"Just pick up your god damn phone!" Mina shouted, shoving the phone in Megumi's hands impatiently and she gingerly brought it up to her ear, afraid of just who was on the other line. She winced as she put it close to her face, expecting to hear the scolding of her life, and without really thinking about it, Megumi started talking.

"It wasn't me, I swear! It was Tsubame! Tsubame did it! I'm innocent! I'm not even the one that dared her to do it! It's not my fault! Yell at Tsubame! Yell at Tsubame!" Megumi panicked, not wanting to take the fall for Tsubame's mistake, "We were just playing Dare, she didn't mean it! I had absolutely nothing to do with it!"

"Whoa, whoa, Megumi! Calm down, what are you talking about?!" Sanosuke asked on the other line, "What have you been getting yourself into now, eh Fox?"

"Sanosuke?! Is that you?!" Megumi asked and in realizing her mistake, she shot Mina a death glare that made the girl's blood run cold, "Can you hang on a second, Sano? I have to go take care of something really quick!" Megumi quickly pulled the phone away from her face and screamed at Mina, who was now laughing her head off, something Megumi would have loved to help her with.

"Mina! You little brat! What's your problem?! I thought it was Yahiko or something!" Even though Megumi held the phone away from her mouth, Sanosuke could still hear every little word she was saying and she quickly brought the phone back up to her ear. "Okay, I'm back. Sorry about that, I'm having the girls over for a sleepover and one particular person is being difficult!" Megumi eyed Mina at the words, 'Particular person' as she tried to explain and Sanosuke laughed. He was still confused, but he could hear Mina teasing her in the background. "Mina, cut that out!" Megumi yelled, forgetting to move the phone away and ended up yelling in Sanosuke's ear.

"Ow!" he shouted, holding onto his ear to stop the pounding sound that continued to echo throughout his eardrums. 

"Oops! Sorry about that," Megumi said, putting her hand to her mouth to stifle a laugh, "is there something you wanted?.... Mina, I said cut it out! No, don't you hit me with that pillow! Put it down, NOW! That's it!... Sano, can you hold on for another second? Okay, thanks!... Mina, get over here! Don't you run away from me! Ahh! Kaoru! Tsubame! Hey! No fair! That's three against one!..." Megumi came back on the phone, completely out of breath and she struggled to talk and run away from her friends' pillow fight at the same time. "They're throwing pillows at me!" she protested to Sano and he burst out laughing, "Hey! It's not funny! Okay, is there something you wanted to say or are you just calling to say hey 'cause if there's nothing then I really gotta go and like build a fort or something..."

"Well, yeah there is something... I just wanted to ask if you were free tomorrow," he said and he frowned as he heard her struggling on the other line, "You still wanna catch that movie?"

"Ouch, Kaoru! That one hurt!.... Yeah, I'm free tomorrow... Tsubame, cut it out!... A movie sounds good, what time?... Hey! Kaoru! That's my pillow! Get your own!" Megumi said, torn between defending herself against multiple pillow 'bombings' and talking with Sanosuke.

"Uh... seven, I think," Sanosuke said, scratching his head, "should I pick you up or meet you there?"

"Um, you can pick me up here if you want... Damn it, Kaoru! I said, Get your own bleep pillow!" Megumi said, running through the house as she tried to get away from her friends that were bombarding her with cushions and stuffed animals.

"Hey, Megumi! Get off the phone with Lover Boy and put up a decent fight!" Mina yelled and she threw a pink stuffed bear at Megumi's face, "Come on, Meg! Show us what you got!"

Sanosuke smiled at hearing that, silently mouthing the words "Lover Boy" so he could see how well he liked to hear it roll off his tongue.

"Hey! It's my house! I can talk on the phone with whoever I want, whenever I want! Including now!" Megumi yelled back and she started laughing, "Sanosuke, I'll see you tomorrow! I've got to go hit Mina's face in with a pillow! Talk to you later!" Megumi was about to hang up the phone when Mina grabbed it from her grasp, bringing it close to her mouth so she could bring her voice down to a seductive whisper.

"Hello there! Buh bye, Lover Boy!" Mina said in a teasing tone, "Haha! I think you liiiiike her! You want to kiiiiiiiiiiss her! Muah! Muah! Kiss! Kiss! Megumi loves you too! Let's see, um... she enjoys long walks on the beach and she likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain and..." 

Sanosuke grinned as he overheard Megumi yelling Mina to shut up in the background and he chuckled when he heard two people starting to sing the song Mina had just mentioned, he thought it was called, "Escape," but he wasn't sure.

"If you like pina coladas! And getting caught in the rain! If you're not into yoga!" Tsubame and Kaoru sang in the background, linking arms so they could sway from left to right and they fell over onto the carpet in laughter.

"Mina! Put that phone down now!" Megumi screamed, "Are you people trying to kill me from embarrassment?! Give me that!" Megumi finally swiped it away from Mina's grasp and bopped her on the head with the receiver before bringing the phone to her ear, "Sorry about that, but I really have to go now. Bye!"

"Megumiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! You're bluuuuuuuuuuuuushing!" all her friends teased in the background and they giggled again, knowing that Sanosuke had heard them on the other line and he could just make out the distinct growl from Megumi as she repeated her good-bye and hung up the phone.

"Bye," Sanosuke said, the grin still etched across his face as he hung up the phone and he slowly shook his head, "Women! Hell if I'll ever understand them! Well, if I can get a date out of the Fox, it's all good. I better call Yahiko and see how he's holdin' up..."  
  


A/N: And how did we like that chapter? I dunno, you tell me! Click the little purple button at the bottom and let me know! Yeah, I got a little carried away with the phone call at the end, but hopefully it was humorous! Hope you like the story so far! And next up, how will everyone react to seeing Yahiko at school? Read on to bleep find out! Hehe... Sorry, I couldn't resist one last bleep! 


	10. Publicly Mortified

Disclaimer: Woohoo! I haven't been sued so far! Whoops, hope I haven't jinxed it! Don't own RK or American Pie or She's All That (mentioned in previous chapter) or the song "Escape" (also mentioned in the previous chapter) Okay, now you can enjoy this chapter!  
  


Chapter 9:

"Publicly Mortified"  
  


The next day at school, Yahiko walked slowly through the hall, and heard numerous people around him whispering back and forth. Figuring it had nothing to do with him, Yahiko ignored them and kept walking. It was the fact that everyone was pointing and laughing at him that really made him speed up his steps and he ended up running to his locker, being imitated everywhere he went by crazy guys and girls that somehow knew about his dancing escapade the day before. 'How the hell do they know?!' Yahiko thought frantically to himself as he tried to avoid all of the people's stares and pointing by hiding one side of his face with his hand.

"You go, Boy!" Shishio called out after him and everyone in the hall burst out laughing. Yahiko promised himself he'd get him back one day as he walked even faster down the hallway.

"Hey, Yahiko! Wait up!" Sanosuke hollered and he and Kenshin jogged over to catch up with him, "How're you holding up the fort?"

"Well, jeez, I dunno, Sano," Yahiko snapped sarcastically and he stopped walking to look him in the eye, "Besides the fact that everyone is pointing and laughing at me, yeah, I'm holding up pretty good..." 

Kenshin gave him a comforting pat on his shoulder and nodded his head. He understood his sarcasm and he felt really bad for him. 'At least it wasn't me!' Kenshin thought, thanking God himself for sparing him.

"Do you think you could still get together with Yumi?" Kenshin asked, hoping that maybe his friend's luck wasn't totally gone.

"No, I don't, Kenshin," Yahiko said seriously, "Her family didn't really like what they saw in our little home video and she's already on a boat to Kyoto."  
  


"Kaoru, I think you should just ask him out," Mina suggested. They were both sitting in the library, studying for a test in their next class when Kaoru had so suddenly brought up the subject of Kenshin, Mina's longtime childhood friend. Kaoru had been complaining about how she thought he was such a nice guy and all, but she didn't know if she should make the first move or not. "That guy is dense!" Mina practically shouted, "He'll never figure out that you like him if you don't go over and bitch slap it into his head! Or you know, you can just ask him out, if you wanna go the more civil way..."

"Well, I never said that I actually like him," Kaoru started, but was cut short by the knowing look that Mina gave her, "Okay, so maybe I like him a little bit, but it's nothing big, okay? Don't start freaking out and don't get all judgmental! Megumi said that I should bring him when her and Sanosuke go to the movies and it could be like a double date, but I'm not so sure if he'd want to go or not..."

"That little red head likes you, Kaoru," Mina insisted, putting her hands up in Scout's honor position, "I swear! Remember when we were at the mall and he came over to our table at the eatery? He said hi to you first and asked you how you were doing, and then he asked the rest of us! That's gotta tell you something right there! And, the guy won't stop looking at you with those puppy-dog eyes. You should just go for it 'cause Kenshin isn't one of those guys who'll make the first move, you know."

"You think I should?" Kaoru asked.

"Definitely," Mina said with a nod, "now get out of here before hell freezes over! Jesus, you guys all take so long to hook up! Stop stalling and get your groove on already!" Mina shooed Kaoru out of the library, watching from the doorway as she cautiously approached Kenshin, Yahiko, and Sanosuke from behind. Mina smiled when Kaoru tapped Kenshin on the shoulder and she saw his violet eyes shimmer and brighten when he saw Kaoru's face. Closing the door, Mina walked back over to the table, completely satisfied with helping them out. 'Kenshin, you better not screw this up!' Mina thought as she continued reading the history book in front of her.  
  


"Kenshin?" Kaoru said shyly, popping out of nowhere and she stood in front of the red head, "Hi! Can I talk to you for a second?" Yahiko and Sanosuke made sure they stood behind Kaoru, letting the two have at least a little privacy and just in case Kenshin needed a little help with what to say, they were close enough to mouth it to him without Kaoru knowing.

"Oh, hi Kaoru," Kenshin said, covering his uneasiness with his usual rurouni smile. He was a little nervous since he didn't really know how to talk to her. He mainly concentrated on how pretty she looked instead of keeping his mouth from hanging open. Somehow that usual feeling of flip flops in his stomach that always appeared whenever he talked to her came back and he gave her a winning smile. "What is it? Is there something you wanted to tell me?"

"Yeah, actually," Kaoru said. With courage in mind, Kaoru smiled back. She wasn't about to just stand by and let him get away, after all, she was in need of a good date, or so says Mina anyway. "I was wondering if you wanted to go with me to a movie later on," Kaoru suggested, tracing her foot over the ground shyly, "that is, if you're not busy or anything..." Sanosuke and Yahiko started doing their little ridiculous happy dances in the background as they celebrated for Kenshin's victory, slapping each other high fives in the process and mouthing the word, "Score!"

"A movie?" Kenshin repeated, scratching his head nervously, "Uh... sure! That would be... that'd be great, that it would. What time is this movie?"

"Oh, that reminds me! Megumi wanted to ask you if it'd be alright if it was a double date or something," Kaoru said to Sanosuke, "she just wanted to make sure if it was alright with you first though. So, is it okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Sanosuke said with a shrug, but he mentally snapped his fingers in disappointment. He had wanted to spend some quality time alone with Megumi, but now it seemed he wouldn't get the chance yet. 'I guess it won't be that bad,' Sanosuke thought, improvising with the new plan, 'I mean, they'll probably go off and then we'll probably go off... so, it's all good!'

"Okay, great! Then that means the movie's at seven!" Kaoru said to Kenshin, her grin so much brighter than before and her blue eyes sparkled with delight, "Should I just meet you there?"

"Yeah, okay," Kenshin said with an ear to ear grin, "whatever you want to do is fine with me, that it is. I'll see you at seven then?"

"Okay, see you then!" Kaoru called over her shoulder and she ran to class, glad that Mina had talked her into asking him to the movies with her. 'I'll have to thank her later,' Kaoru reminded herself, 'but first, I have to find out what I'm gonna wear!'  
  


A little ways away, Tokio and Saito were talking at the school stairs about prom. Saito narrowed his eyes and nodded his head, obviously upset with whatever Tokio was saying to him.

"What do you mean you can't go to prom with me?!" Saito demanded her, his golden eyes flashing a darker shade of bronze, "You've got to be freakin' kidding me!"

"Well, I know it's a slim to none chance, but still, I figure Kenshin might ask me," Tokio said, trying really hard to make Saito understand her reasoning. She, like practically every other girl in school wanted Kenshin Himura as their prom date and of course, this only made Saito even more upset that it had actually reached Tokio.

"Uh huh... Shit-break...." Saito said, trying hard not to run over and beat the shit out of the smaller man for stealing Tokio away from him. Saito fought to keep his cool, but he wasn't too good at it because Tokio noticed the frantic twitching of his eyebrows.

"I mean, uh... I'm sorry! I totally forgot about the fight! You can barely see the wounds! They healed really well!" Tokio immediately corrected, remembering the story about how Kenshin kicked Saito's ass in their last 'fight', "I'm so sorry, I know you're really sensitive about that..." She tried to continue, but Saito was already walking away, trudging up the stairs to his next class. 

'Damn that stupid red head!' Saito cursed under his breath, 'He's gonna regret the day he walked into Jinchuu High for the first time and met me! Now where's that bottle of laxatives?!'

Saito hurried to his locker, twisting the lock to his combination and he threw it open with such force that a tiny bottle of laxative pills popped right out and Saito caught it before it hit the ground. 'Just what I was looking for!' Saito thought with a snicker and he tucked the bottle into his pocket, making his way over to the cafeteria. 

Lunch was in a few minutes, with one coffee machine on one end and a green tea machine on the other. Saito slunk over to the green tea, looking around for any witnesses and he poured in about three capfuls of the pills. He smiled to himself, knowing that Kenshin was the only person in the entire school that drank the tea and he shoved the bottle back in his jacket pocket. Whistling casually and as innocently as possible, Saito made his way out of the cafeteria, hands in his pockets as he awaited the much anticipated lunch bell. The bell rang about two seconds later as if the whole world was working on Saito's schedule. Walking out into the hall, Saito spotted Sanosuke at his locker and he strode over to talk to him.

"Hey Moron!" Saito said, using his usual nickname for his spiky haired lacrosse teammate, "You seen Shit-break lately?"

Sanosuke turned to Saito, eyeing him suspiciously. He knew what happened earlier with Tokio and knowing Saito, he was probably really P.O.ed at Kenshin right about now. Sanosuke tilted his head to the side, looking at the narrow eyed man in front of him, knowing that there was definitely something wrong.

"No, why? What did you do to him?" Sanosuke asked, worried for his friend's good health. Saito merely shrugged, playing it stupid by pointing at himself and trying to act innocent.

"Who, me?!" Saito asked, an obvious smirk on his face that didn't at all agree with what he was saying, "If anything, I'm helping him! I was able to slip something in the green tea machine. Let's see him run home to use the bathroom this time!" Saito then pulled out the bottle of ExLax from his pocket and shook it, showing Sanosuke that it was practically empty now. 

Sanosuke looked speechless. Suddenly, both guys were pushed apart by a, well speak of the Devil, red headed rurouni. Kenshin ran down the hall, trying desperately to hold in his oncoming potty ritual and using his lightning speed, he ran as fast as his legs could carry him to the nearest bathroom, the one that Saito was holding open for him.

"Right this way, Shit-Break!" Saito said, gesturing to the bathroom entrance and Kenshin pushed past him to get inside, the Men's Bible of our Generation in his hands, and he ran into the closest bathroom stall. Saito snickered as he closed the door after him, revealing the sign that initially announced that the bathroom was for girls, and he tried not to look suspicious as he walked down the hall in the opposite direction to look for people to see Kenshin when he came outside.

Kenshin almost threw up when he saw the toilet seat, highly aware of the poor hygienical status of public bathrooms. Tossing the Bible over his right shoulder so it wouldn't slow him down, he grabbed for a toilet seat cover, but whimpered when he realized it was empty and he grabbed frantically for toilet paper, placing it layer after layer after layer over the seat until he thought it was safe enough to sit down. By now, Kenshin could swear he was going to explode and he grabbed the waistline of his pants, pulling them down and finally taking a seat on the toilet, more then ready to relieve himself.

Just then, a familiar pretty girl came into the bathroom to check on her reflection in the mirror. 'Oh no!' Kenshin thought as he watched her from the crack in his door, 'It's Kaoru! Oro! Of all times she had to go to the bathroom, she picks now! Jesus, I haven't even gone on a date with the girl yet and now she has to hear me take a crap! No, Kaoru, get out of here!' He pleaded to her with his thoughts, but she obviously didn't hear them. Kaoru then began turning around to leave and Kenshin almost jumped for joy, but she turned back to see the Bible on the floor. Her eyes widened and she bent down to pick it up, blushing at the pictures on the page of the entire female pubic region that the book was opened up to. 

Puzzled, Kaoru looked at the stall in front of her, the only one being occupied at the moment, and looked through the tiny crack between the door. She saw a flash of red hair and automatically thought it was Mina.

"Mina? Is that you?" Kaoru asked, knocking gently on the door and Kenshin crossed his legs over and over, trying to find a comfortable position and desperately trying to keep control over his raging bladder. Kenshin twisted his face into a horrible expression, the pain of holding it all in almost unbearable, and he let out a tiny farting sound. "Mina, are you okay?" Kaoru spoke again.

"Uh....... yes," Kenshin said in his fake feminine voice, trying his best to sound like Mina, but instead ended up sounding like a constipated helium sucker, "I'm fine, Kaoru... uh... I just need a little privacy or something, that I... I mean! Yeah..." Kenshin breathed a sigh of relief after he caught himself from almost saying his usual catch phrase, 'That I do.'

"Well, okay, I'll leave then," Kaoru replied, and Kenshin saw her turn around, but she turned back a second later, "I guess you found the guys' Bible, huh? I'm still waiting for Megumi to give me the book for my turn... But, anyways, Mina, before I forget, I never got to thank you for convincing me to ask out Kenshin. If you hadn't told me to, I never would have and I would've been kicking myself later for it... I think that me and him are gonna have a really good time tonight. Hopefully, we won't have to hang out with Sano and Megumi too much so we can have some time to ourselves... I'm sure they won't mind anyway since they probably wanna be alone too. 

"It's weird, how I can like someone so much and hardly know them, isn't it? You know, I hope those rumors are true... Well, one particular one anyway. You know which one I'm talking about, don't you? Haha, oh my God, I bet you're never gonna let me live this down! You're gonna march right outta there any second now and tell everyone I was thinking like a pervert!"

Kenshin gulped, holding back a startled, "Oro!" with all his might and he let out another farting sound, a little louder this time. 'Not now, not now!' Kenshin thought to himself, 'she's talking about me! God, this couldn't get any worse!' But Kenshin thought too soon, because just then, Mina came strolling into the bathroom and waved to Kaoru.

"Hey Kaoru! Whatcha got there?" Mina asked and Kaoru looked from her to the door of the bathroom stall in confusion, "Hey! You found the guys' Bible! Where'd you find it at?!"

"Uh.... Mina, how can you be here? I thought you were in there..." Kaoru murmured, pointing at whoever had pretended to be Mina in the stall in front of them, "I thought I was talking to you, but there's someone else in there and this is their book...."

Another sound came from the stall and Mina made a disgusted face. Kaoru frowned as well, realizing the horrid stench and they both stared at the door of the stall in curiosity. Just then, Kenshin just couldn't hold it anymore and he practically exploded in a large amount of taking a shit. Both girls screamed and ran from the room, leaving Kenshin to finish up with his extremely loud business. 

Finally, with everything out of his system, Kenshin wiped the sweat from his forehead, glad that that was over and he flushed the toilet. Getting up, he pulled up his pants, and feeling about twenty pounds lighter, he walked outside, not even noticing the huge crowd that had set up outside until everyone burst out laughing and Kenshin's face went white, his mouth twisted into a big "O" shape and Saito stood up from the back of the crowd. "He's a new man, ladies and gentlemen!" Saito announced and everyone burst out laughing again.  
  


A/N: See? Didn't I promise you some K/K? Yes, I did and here it is. I know it's not big, but there is more later on. Hopefully you saw the irony in Kenshin's uh... incident. Earlier in the chapter he was thanking God that he had spared him and minutes later... well, you know what happened! ^_^ Anyways, next time on Japanese Pie: the movies! More comedy and more Weasel girl! You won't want to miss it!


	11. Rude Disruption

Disclaimer: running through the streets, yelling at the top of my lungs "I don't own RK or American Pie!"  
  


Chapter 10:

"Rude Disruption"  
  


It was seven o'clock, the moon was full in front of the small movie theater, and Kaoru was patiently waiting outside for Kenshin to arrive. She had found out that the person in the bathroom was indeed, him, but frankly, she didn't care. She still wanted to hang out with him tonight, bad bladder or not. She tapped her foot against the ground to steady the rhythm of a song she had heard earlier that day and spotted Sanosuke and Megumi walking over, talking and laughing. Strangely enough, Kaoru felt a pang of jealousy. 'Where's Kenshin?' she thought, her patience coming to an end, 'How come he's not here yet to talk to me and make me laugh? I hope he's not setting me up or something...' 

Spotting her friend on the nearby bench, Megumi walked over, Sanosuke close behind and she stood over the depressed looking Kaoru.

"Hey Kaoru! You made it!" Megumi exclaimed, trying to make her voice sound cheery, but Kaoru just looked up at her with sad blue eyes, the usual glitter lost and forgotten.

"Yeah, it looks like Kenshin didn't though..." Kaoru said with a sigh and she propped her head in her hands with a pout.

"Oh, right, about that..." Sanosuke said, hating to have to be the one to break it to her and he put a hand behind his head nervously, "Kenshin didn't really feel like going anywhere tonight 'cause of the uh... incident... He told me to tell you he was really sorry that he couldn't make it."

"But! You can still come to the movie with us!" Megumi offered brightly, trying to include her friend. She didn't want to leave her in such a bad state and besides, what kind of friend would she be if she didn't invite her along as well? 'It won't be that bad,' Megumi thought, 'not like she's gonna be right next to us!' "Come on, Kaoru!" Megumi insisted, "Just because he didn't show up doesn't mean that you should blow off a movie! I heard 'Spider-Man' was really good! You've got to watch it! You've already come all the way out here, might as well watch the movie!"

"Hey guys!" Yahiko called as he ran over to them with a big smile on his face. Sanosuke took strong note that Yahiko was definitely not invited to this outing and he glared at him. 

'That little brat's gonna ruin everything!' Sanosuke thought, thinking of numerous ways he could break Yahiko's ribs for trying to interrupt his date with Megumi, 'I can deal with Kaoru fine, she's not exactly gonna be breathing down our necks the whole time, but Yahiko! Jeez, that kid better watch himself!'

"Well, Ugly, since Kenshin is a no-show, it looks like me and you will be sitting together!" Yahiko exclaimed, not even noticing Kaoru slowly moving away from him, "Come on, let's get in there before the movie starts!" 

He pulled Kaoru roughly inside by her arm, ignoring her protests that she didn't want a pervert like him touching her and he took a seat in the back row. Sanosuke was about to lead Megumi to another area in the theater, but he cursed under his breath when Yahiko insisted that he and Megumi sit in the row right in front of Yahiko and Kaoru and he grimaced as Megumi accepted the offer. Sanosuke shot his friend a death glare and Yahiko gave him a silly grin that angered Sanosuke even more. 'He's doing this on purpose!' Sanosuke thought, straining from punching Yahiko's head in, 'I am gonna kill him!'

"Sanosuke, what's the matter?" Megumi asked, noticing how hard he was gripping the seat arm and he quickly loosened his grip, forcing a smile. It wasn't hard to smile at her, but being that Yahiko was literally going to be breathing down their necks the whole movie wasn't keeping him in the best of moods. "Do you want to sit somewhere else?" Megumi asked, thinking that maybe they were sitting too far away from the screen, "We can move up if you want."

"Actually..." Sanosuke started, the idea of getting away from Yahiko brightening up his mood, but Yahiko clamped a hand over his mouth to stop him, knowing that Sanosuke had every intention of getting as far away from him as possible and he wasn't about to let that happen. Not until he could embarrass him a little first...

"No, he likes these seats fine!" Yahiko said, as Sanosuke shot him another icy glare for lying, the idea of biting off Yahiko's hand covering his mouth becoming a more and more appealing idea, but Yahiko continued anyway. He was a man that liked to take a gamble with his life. "He's fine! You don't have to worry about him, he's just a little grumpy 'cause uh... we're out of popcorn!" Yahiko said, thinking up the first lie that came to mind. Megumi gave him a quelling look.

"But... we have plenty of popcorn. See?" Megumi said, pointing out the huge bag of popcorn in Kaoru's hands. Yahiko immediately hit the bag out of Kaoru's grasp, spilling out all of it on the theater's floor.

"No, we don't!" Yahiko said, grinning from ear to ear like a child would that had just been caught sneaking a cookie from the cookie jar, and he suddenly looked at Kaoru, pointing an accusing finger, "You're so clumsy, Ugly! Why'd you spill the popcorn?!"

"Me?!" Kaoru whispered harshly, "I didn't spill the popcorn! You did! I saw you! You just went and hit it out of my hands, you...!"

"Shh!" Yahiko shushed her, putting a finger to his lips and then pointed to the movie as it began rolling and Kaoru was obliged to shut her mouth. She wasn't in the mood to be kicked out of the theater for yelling at Yahiko; in fact, she didn't think she should even be wasting her breath. Rolling her eyes, Kaoru sat back in her chair and noticed Yahiko getting a little bit toocomfortable in his chair. Yahiko stretched, "accidently" kicking Sanosuke's seat in front of him and Sanosuke whirled around in a split second, glaring daggers at him. Yahiko gave him an impish grin and said, "Whoops, my foot slipped." Steam rising from his head, Sanosuke turned back around, muttering to himself about his plans to murder Yahiko later.

"Hahahahahahahahaha!" Yahiko suddenly burst out laughing at the part in the movie when Peter Parker's uncle dies, pointing at the movie screen, "Hahahahaha! I think he had a stroke! Oh, no wait! He got shot! Never mind! Hahahaha! What a loser! Why didn't you save your uncle, you selfish punk?! You suck, Spider-Man! Batman's better! He would've saved his uncle!" 

Several people in the audience turned around to shush him and Yahiko shook his fist at them. "Hey! You want some of this?! Huh, you want a piece of me?! Yeah, turn back around! That's what I thought!" Yahiko yelled at the people and he settled back down in his chair with an angry grunt. Kaoru tried to ignore him, mouthing to people that she had no idea who he was whenever they turned around and she tried to keep him quiet.

In the part of the movie when Spider-Man goes to save the girl in the burning building and it ends up being the Green Goblin in disguise, Megumi jumped in surprise and buried her face in Sanosuke's shoulder. She wasn't really scared, she actually just wanted to smell some more of his cologne, something she strongly noted that he wasn't wearing before. Although he couldn't see it, she smiled at his attempt to impress her. Oblivious to her fake coward act, he smiled and whispered to her, the movie suddenly becoming very uninteresting compared to the foxy girl next to him.

"Want me to tell you when it's over?" he asked and she nodded her head against his warm shoulder, the fox ears suddenly becoming harder to keep hidden, "Okay, it's over now..."

"Are you sure?" Megumi asked, peeking a little bit through her hair at the movie screen to see if he was lying or not and Sanosuke nodded. In seeing that the 'scary' part was over, Megumi sat back up. "Sorry about that, I just got a little startled..." she lied.

"Don't worry about it," Sanosuke said, putting a protective arm around her, "I'll let you know when the scary parts come up, alright?" 

"Okay," Megumi whispered, snuggling a bit closer to him, completely forgetting that their friends were within ear shot, "if some Goblin guy were holding me hostage, do you think you'd try and save me?" Yet another foxy plan. First step: Play hard to get, second step: Go into damsel-in-distress mode. She covered her charming smile, knowing he was about to take the bait and she slightly tilted her head down to act shy; something she definitely wasn't. Neither noticed Kaoru holding back Yahiko as he tried to lean forward and eavesdrop.

"Yeah, you're worth meddling with the scariest of monsters," Sanosuke said, and Megumi smiled in satisfaction to his answer while thinking, 'Works EVERY time.' 

Slowly, Sanosuke chucked her chin with his hand so she could look at him, forgetting all his worries about Yahiko trying to ruin the date. Leaning down, inching closer to her mouth, blocking out the movie playing in front of them and the voices in the background, Sanosuke slowly made his way closer to her lips. Megumi closer her eyes, waiting for the soft feeling of his mouth when...

"Well! Isn't this so romaaaaantic?!" Yahiko said, batting his lashes like a primp and prissy school girl, leaning his head over the chairs to look at them and both turned to stare at him with bewildered eyes, "Is it getting hot in here or is it just you guys?! Ooooh! Megumi and Sanosuke! What a hot couple! Ain't love sweet?! Hahahaha!"

"Yahiko! You little...!" Sanosuke growled, picking the smaller and more annoying man up by the collar of his shirt, but Yahiko put a finger to his lips to shush him and pointed to the movie screen, indicating that they should be watching and he winced when Sanosuke drew back his arm to punch him. 

But the blow never came. Sanosuke slowly placed him back down on his feet, lowering his arm from it's position in the air and Yahiko dusted himself off like the arrogant, conceited, ass he was. Feeling like he had just conquered the world, Yahiko sat back down in his seat and continued watching the screen in front of him.

"Hey! I know the ending to this movie!" Yahiko yelled out for what seemed to be the tenth time during the entire first hour of the movie and he stood up, "He like... kills the Green Goblin dude and the son finds out! And then the son wants revenge on Spider-Man! Then he doesn't get with the Mary Jane chick 'cause they're gonna put that in the sequel!"

"Aw for crying out loud!"

"Will you shut up already?!"

"Sit down!"

"Go get your head outta your ass, you little brat!"

"Stop ruining the movie!"

"Bleep off, you little whippersnapper!" an old woman unexpectedly shouted from her seat in front and Kaoru, Megumi, and Sanosuke all gawked at her use of interesting ways of telling Yahiko to be quiet.

Yahiko shook his fist at everyone in the audience that had confronted him, flipping off the old lady in the front row, and putting his hand up in some big guy's face in the 'whatever' sign.

"Excuse me, sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave," the usher said, grabbing Yahiko by the arm and pulling him into the aisle, "Come with me, sir. You have been disturbing the entire theater with your yelling and there have been several complaints about a young man with black spiky hair that keeps disrupting the movie and by the way you were yelling, I take it, it's you. Now you'll have to come with me."

"Hey! Let me go! I paid for this damn movie!" Yahiko protested and the usher brought out two much larger, stronger men with the snap of his two fingers. Both grabbed Yahiko by his arms, dragging him out of the theater with his arms and legs flailing about and the whole audience started to applaud. "Hey! That's not cool!" Yahiko yelled, pointing at the audience members who were all to happy to see him go, "You better watch yourselves! I'll sue all of you! I'm the best damn lawyer in Tokyo! You're all on the street tomorrow morning! I'm warning you! ... Hey! Loosen the grip already, will ya?! Put me down, you over-grown apes!"

"Hey, ain't you that one dancing guy on the internet?" one of the ushers asked as they continued to drag him outside. Yahiko's face went pale.

"Oh yeah!" the other usher said, "It is him! Hey, don't worry man, it happens to a lot of guys!" Both ushers burst out laughing, walking him to the curb, and swung him with their arms.

At that, the two ushers threw him out of the theater, dusting off their hands as Yahiko fell hard on his butt on the concrete sidewalk. Rubbing his sore backside, Yahiko got up from where they had so carelessly thrown him, and shook his fist at their backs.

"Stupid fat guys... Hah! They knew I could kick their ass..." Yahiko mumbled, but was shut up in an in instant when the ushers threw a bag of the theater's trash at his face.

Cursing under his breath, he made a disgusted face at the mess now strewn all over one of his favorite outfits, and angrily got up to kick the lamp post nearby and immediately grabbed at his throbbing big toe.

"Ow! Mother of bleep!" Yahiko shouted, gingerly holding onto his foot, "Is there anyone out there that DIDN'T see that damn internet show?!!!"

"Hey! Aren't you in my History class?" Misao asked suddenly, popping out of nowhere and she knelt down next to Yahiko, helping him stand up, "You're Yahiko, right?"

"What's left of him anyways..." Yahiko muttered with a groan, still holding onto his foot.

"Haha, you're funny! So, you're pissed about something, huh?" Misao said, not even noticing the horrible stench of his trash-covered clothes, "You know what I do when I'm angry? I think about times at band camp. Like there was this one time, at band camp, when..."

"Wait! Hold the phone!" Yahiko said, putting his hand up to stop her, "You have no idea why I'm pissed? Do you not have internet or something?!"

"Nope, no internet," Misao replied with a shake of her head, "usually, I just play some music on my flute, I learned to do that at band camp! But there is something I can tell you about internet, 'cause there was this one time at band camp, when we weren't supposed to bring laptops, but we brought a laptop, and it was so much fun! And this one time, at band camp..."

"Uh... what's your name again?" Yahiko asked, scratching his head and trying his best not to plug his ears to stop listening to all the girl's annoying stories about band camp.

"Misao Makimachi," she replied.

"Okay, Misao, um... this is gonna sound really weird, but uh.. do you wanna be my date for the prom?" Yahiko asked. 'God, I can't believe I'm sinking this low! Yahiko, quick! Change your mind! Change your mind!' Yahiko thought to himself, but it was too late, Misao was already smiling and nodding. 'Oh shit!' Yahiko thought, 'Dude, what have you gotten yourself into?!'

"Wow, that'd be so much fun! And don't think it's weird! I've met lots of people a whole lot weirder than you, especially at band camp! And we can also go to Saito's post prom party afterwards too, it'd be just like this one time, at band camp, there was this horse! And it had thehugest... uh... saddle."

Misao continued on and on like this for what seemed to Yahiko, to be ages and ages. Eventually, they got back to her car, Misao still droning about her tales at band camp, and Yahiko almost falling asleep in the passenger seat, but he was awake enough to point out where she was supposed to turn. Arriving in his driveway, Misao was still talking and Yahiko avidly banged his head against the dashboard, her not even noticing, as Yahiko hit his head harder and harder to try and drown out her voice and numb his brain. He quickly thanked her and got out of the car before he could hear more.

"I'll tell you the rest of the story later then!" Misao called after him and she started up the engine. Yahiko rolled his eyes, placing his hand on the doorknob, and all of a sudden, Okina ran out, heading straight for Misao's car.

"Hey Missy!" Okina said, pressing his face against the window, "How would you like some of our leftover PIE?!"

"DRIVE uh...." Yahiko paused, trying to remember her name, "Drive, Misao, DRIVE!"

Without a word, Misao sped away, her tires making a loud screeching noise as she hurriedly backed out of the driveway, leaving black skid marks in the street. Changing the gears from reverse to drive, Okina saw her pause and he ran to her window again.

"Hey! You want this pie or not?!" Okina shouted, trying to make her hear him through the thin glass and Misao let out a startled scream. She pressed down on the gas pedal so hard her foot hurt and she sped away down the street in the opposite direction of the crazed old man.

"Hm, what a strange young lady..." Okina muttered as he scratched his head, but quickly got over it, "Oh well! Guess she doesn't like pie too much then... Come on, Yahiko, let's go inside now." Turning back around, Okina finally realized Yahiko's condition and he pinched his nose against the horrible stench of his clothes. "Jesus, Yahiko! What did you do?! Go swimming in a trash compactor?!"  
  


A/N: Hehe. Personally, I like this chapter. It has to be one of my favorites, but tell me what you think. This was all my original work by the way, there was no movie date in the American Pie movie so this entire chapter was my own. And a give yourself a big pat on the back if you remembered the line I stole from Yahiko which he said in the series, "Ooh! Sanosuke and Megumi! What a hot couple! Ain't love sweet?!" P.S. I think the role of band camp girl fits Misao pretty well, don't you think? 


	12. NonStop Humiliation

Disclaimer: I don't own RK or American Pie or Spider-Man (mentioned in previous chapter)

  
  


Chapter 11:

"Non-stop Humiliation"

  
  


"Stupid Yahiko..." Sanosuke grumbled under his breath, his grip tightening around the steering wheel as he ran over an old rag left out in the middle of the street, imagining it was Yahiko's head. The movie had ended a few minutes ago, but he was still pissed about Yahiko ruining the ending. Megumi had suggested that they look for him, but Kaoru insisted that he most likely got a ride from someone else, truthfully, she just didn't want to be in the same car as him; she already had a headache and she wasn't tempted to make it worse. 

Sanosuke could have cared less if Yahiko had gotten a ride or not. If he was still there, Sanosuke was just gonna leave him, come rain or snow, he wasn't about to give that brat a ride home after what he did at the theaters. Sanosuke smiled, thinking of all the multiple ways he could make Yahiko's life a living hell. He snickered evilly to himself and Kaoru and Megumi exchanged puzzled glances.

"Uh, Sano?" Kaoru said, and he quickly snapped out of his thoughts of sticking Yahiko's head in a toilet and turned to his friend in the passenger seat of his car, "It's the second house on the left." Kaoru pointed out the house that Sanosuke had been to about a million times due to Saito's numerous parties and he turned into the driveway and parked in back of Saito's black Chrysler. "Okay, thanks for the lift," Kaoru said, opening the back seat's door and stepping one foot outside, "I'll probably call you later, okay Megumi? Bye!"

"Hey, Kaoru," Megumi called, making Kaoru pause in front of the passenger window to hear what her friend had to say, "sorry Kenshin couldn't make it and that Yahiko was being such a horrible replacement. I think you should give Kenshin a call and see how he's doing. I'm sure he'll be glad to hear from you. Oh, and before I forget! It's your turn to see the book! Enjoy!"

Kaoru blushed as Megumi shoved the book, her hands suddenly becoming as slippery as ice when they got hold of the Bible and it almost fell out of her hands. After gaining control over it again and making sure Sanosuke didn't see even a tiny glimpse of what was inside, she waved at them as Sanosuke sped away. 

Alone in her driveway, Kaoru sighed, looking at the book like it was some kind of drug, a drug she was somehow very tempted to use. Slowly, she inched her way inside, tiptoeing to her room as if she were some armed robber with a sack full of money, and quietly closed the door. As soon as she was sure that her brother, Saito, wasn't planning on stopping by her room, Kaoru cracked open the book, wincing a little at the obscene pictures at the random page she had selected to look at. She made a face, and got up to go to her dresser. 

Pulling out a pair of rubber gloves and a pair of tweezers, Kaoru slipped on the gloves and picked up the tweezers in her hands, too afraid to actually have proof that she had touched such a perverted book and she went back to it, turning the page ever so slowly as if it could crumble with just the slightest touch. Squinting with one eye and closing the other so she wouldn't really be able to see what was on the pages, Kaoru peeked out at what she had earlier been so curious to read. 

'I can't believe I'm reading this!' Kaoru thought to herself, still only half looking at the book, holding it away at arms length from her body. She didn't want to see any sort of detail whatsoever that the book had, in fact, she even considered closing it and just stuffing it in her backpack. 'How can people look at this stuff?!' she thought as she continued flipping through the pages, 'It's so weird! And perverted! God, this is so wrong! I'm just gonna put it away and no one has to know that I have this sorta thing in my possession... Just close the book before someone sees you with it already! Whoa! Hey! What the hell is that?!'

Kaoru brought the book closer to her face, actually opening her eyes all the way to look at the photo in front of her. A/N: GASP! It was a strange picture of well... she couldn't even figure out what it was and she turned the book upside down, to the right and to the left to try and make sense of it. No such luck.... 

"Hey Kaoru, you know where the TV remote is?" Saito asked, suddenly barging into her room without even so much as a decent knock. Curiously, he glanced around her room in search of the missing the remote and his focus fell on some book she seemed to be reading with quite some interest. "What are you reading?"

"Uh... it's nothing! And what are you doing here?! Get out, Hajime!" Kaoru ordered, immediately slamming the book shut and she threw a pink pillow at her brother, but Saito quickly put his hands up to cover his face from the oncoming pillow attack, "Get out of my room! Find the damn remote yourself! Get out! Get out!"

"Okay, okay, take it easy!" Saito said, putting his hands up in surrender and as protection from Kaoru's cushion rage and he slowly moved closer, "Haha! Yoink!" Laughing his head off, Saito grabbed the book right out of her hands and ran to the other side of the room. Her eyes as wide as saucers, Kaoru frantically jumped up and down from the ground, trying to steal it back from her nosy brother and yelling any kind of protest she could think of, but he was about a head or so taller than her so the effort was useless. In her haste to get the book back before he saw what it was, she tried hitting him in the stomach, but he never faltered. 

Laughing at her weakness and vertically challenged body, Saito tossed the book from one hand to the other in mockery.

"Hajime! Give that back! NOW! I mean it, Hajime! Give me that!" Kaoru shouted, jumping up to try and reach the book that he was holding over his head at arms length. Saito was laughing, luckily not looking inside the book as he held it away from her. "I'm serious! Give me that book! Come on! Give it back or I'll...!"

"Nanananana! What're you gonna do?! Tell Mom and Dad on me, huh?! You can have it back if you can take it from me! And don't call me Hajime!" Saito taunted, laughing even harder as Kaoru jumped on the bed and tried to grab it from him again, "You're not gonna get it that easy! Ow! Hey!" Kaoru kicked him in the shins with all her might and he instantly dropped the book to the floor with a groan. While he was distracted, Kaoru grabbed the book off the floor and started hitting him over the head with it, shouting all the while, "You suck! You suck! You suck!" 

"Ouch! Cut it out!" Saito yelped, covering his face again, "Okay, I'm leaving! Jesus! I'm outta here! You're so crazy sometimes! Just stop with the hitting already! Jeez, you like, need some kind of anger therapy or something, Kaoru! God, I need a cigarette..."

Saito held onto his aching head, limping from her room and out into the hall, cursing all the while about crazy-out-of-control-little-sisters-in-need-of-anger-management-classes. Rolling her eyes, Kaoru didn't even breathe until she was positive Saito was out in the hallway and no longer a threat. Just as a precaution, she still held the book over her head, just in case he decided to run back in and try to steal it again because there was absolutely no way she was gonna let him see what she had been looking at. Kaoru didn't put the book down until she was sure Saito was back in his own room and as soon as she heard his door slam closed, she relaxed. 

Setting the book down on the bed, Kaoru looked at the clock on her dresser beside her bed. It read 9 o'clock PM. She wasn't sure if it was too late to call Kenshin or not, but she figured that because of the drama of the whole unfortunate bathroom incident, he was probably still awake and worrying about it. Shoving the book in her backpack, Kaoru picked up the Mickey Mouse phone and dialed Kenshin's number and patiently waited for him to pick up.

  
  


"You think Yahiko got home alright?" Megumi asked Sanosuke.

"Don't worry, Fox. He's a big boy, he can take care of himself," Sanosuke said, focusing on the road in front of them as he steered the wheel to the right, turning onto a nearby empty parking lot off the side of the road, "He ruined the movie anyway..."

"Well, yeah, but still...," Megumi began, and finally taking notice that he had parked the car, she looked around at their surroundings, "Hey, I know this area! This is the parking lot of my friend's school! In fact, she called me a while ago telling me about some guy that brought her over to Make-out Point. Apparently, the guy was trying to make the moves on her and she told me that she yelled at him and told him not to leave his own car! That Sayo cracks me up sometimes..."

"Uh... haha... imagine that... eheheh... erm...," Sanosuke laughed nervously, trying to act innocent as he remembered the recent date he had with the Christian school girl that had ditched him in the middle of the date and called him a brute, "Anyways.... so........... um... Where'd the nickname, 'Lover Boy' come from?"

"Lover Boy?" Megumi asked quizzically and then suddenly remembering the embarrassing nickname Mina had given him over the phone, she nodded her head, "Oh right! Yeah, about that, you see... uh... Mina's crazy! Yeah, that's it! She's got this problem, where she yells stuff out of nowhere... Yeah, she's crazy..."

"Uh huh. Riiiiight..." Sanosuke said, not at all believing a word out of her mouth, "You're talking about Terete Syndrome, right?"

"Um.... sure!" Megumi lied, flashing him a heart-melting smile even though she had absolutely no clue what on earth he was talking about, but she decided to agree anyway, "Yeah, Mina thinks that me and you are like boyfriend and girlfriend or something... she's got this problem where her mind gets carried away with her sometimes, so yeah..."

"You don't think we're boyfriend and girlfriend then?" Sanosuke asked, narrowing his eyes at her and Megumi gave him a surprised look. That she was not expecting. 'Okay... what's after the second step? Let's see... Play hard to get, did that. Do damsel-in-distress mode, did that too. What comes after that? Ah! I don't know! I don't think I've ever gotten that far before! Shit! He's looking at me... Um... repeat steps one and two!' Megumi thought to herself, taking in a deep breath, 'God, I hope I'm not blushing...'

Sanosuke wasn't sure, but he could've sworn he saw her blush.

"Well, I don't know..." Megumi said as she tried hiding her face with her hair, "Are we?"

"Does this answer your question?" Sanosuke asked as he leaned forward, cupping one side of her face with his hand and he moved closer to her. Megumi could instantly feel a change in the air, not a bad change, but definitely something she wasn't used to, and she watched him shift closer to her. Parting her lips a little, she closed her eyes and waited for the feel of his mouth against hers. His lips weren't even an inch apart from her's and slowly he closed his own eyes.

HONK! HONK! 

Sanosuke and Megumi jumped away from each other in surprise at the loud sound coming from behind them and Sanosuke whirled around to stare at the car in back of them, shielding his eyes with his hand so that he could look past the high beam head lights of the rude disrupting car. 'Whoever it is, they better have a good excuse for interrupting!' Sanosuke growled and he and Megumi stepped out of the car, standing in front of the trunk to look at whoever had interfered with their so-close-yet-so-far kiss.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Don't you think you two love birds should find a room or something?!" Yahiko yelled from the window of his grandfather's car, an annoying grin on his face and he burst out laughing, "Motel Six is just around the corner, you know!"

"Yahiko!!!!! You little shit!!!!" Sanosuke practically screamed at him, shaking his fist at the devious guy, who was still laughing like a hyena, "If I ever get my hands on you, you're gonna regret the day you were born!!! Get your ass outta that car right now so I can rearrange that ugly face of yours!"

"Oh shit!" Yahiko shouted, quickly shifting gears as he tried to back the car away from the raging Sanosuke coming straight for him, but the car magically didn't seem to want to move, "Uh oh..." Yahiko did not have exactly have too much time to get his car repaired, especially when a very unhappy Sanosuke was only about a few feet away from him. 

"Work with me, you damn machine! Come on wheels, don't fail me now! Yeah, come on! Get moving!!!" Yahiko quickly slammed his foot on the gas pedal, getting away just in time before Sanosuke could yank open the car door and pull him out into the street. Yahiko knew very well what trouble he'd be in tomorrow at school for interrupting, not once, but twice, of Sanosuke's action and he was glad that he was able to get away this time.

Speeding away as fast as the law allowed, Yahiko drove his grandpa's car home, turning back once in a while to check if Sanosuke was following him. When he saw no sign of the spiky headed rooster, Yahiko relaxed, breathing a sigh of relief once he realized he was home free. But not for long... 

A few minutes later, still going about sixty miles per hour in fear that Sanosuke was chasing him, Yahiko was pulled over by a local police officer on his night shift. Yahiko groaned, pulling the car off to the side of the road and watched the policeman get out of his car. Walking over to Yahiko's window, flashlight in hand, the officer flickered the light into Yahiko's eyes, practically blinding him, and asked him what he was doing going sixty miles an hour on a speed limit of thirty.

"I was just in a rush to get home, sir," Yahiko tried to explain, but the policeman was already writing a ticket down, "Ah! Come on! Can't you let this slide, just this once?! I'll be very careful next time that you don't catch me! I mean, that I don't go over the speed limit! Please!!!"

"Nope, sorry, can't do that," the officer replied, shaking his head from left to right, "I'm gonna have to write you a ticket for actually doubling the speed limit. It's my job to catch guys like you that... Hey! Have I pulled you over before? You look kinda familiar..."

"Uh... No, sir, I've never gotten pulled over before," Yahiko said, curious as to how on earth the officer could know him, "maybe you saw me on the street somewhere... I dunno..."

"Hey! I know! You're that guy on the internet! The dancing guy, aren't you?!" the officer exclaimed, suddenly remembering the exact location that he saw the boy before, "Yeah! You're him!!! Boy, are you an idiot!"

"Oh no..." Yahiko muttered, looking up to the sky as if to talk to God himself, "When will this nightmare end?!"

  
  


A/N: It seems Yahiko is quite a disruptive little guy, huh? Yeah, I think so too. ^_^ Up next, what will happen when Sano sees Yahiko tomorrow at school? Check in next time for, "Bittersweet Revenge!"


	13. Bittersweet Revenge

Disclaimer: Oi! How many times do I have to tell you?! I don't own anything! Now get the hell out of my store and come again! Hehe. Gotta love Apu. (The Simpson's)

  
  


Chapter 12:

"Bittersweet Revenge"

  
  


"Hey Sano!" Yahiko exclaimed happily, casually putting his lunch tray onto the table his friend was sitting at and easing into the seat across from Sanosuke. Sanosuke didn't even look up from his food. He didn't think that the brat even deserved to be recognized, not after what he did yesterday. If Yahiko had only interrupted his time with Megumi once, Sanosuke would have been kind enough to at least utter some kind of greeting back. But, since Yahiko had actually had the nerve to follow them in his car, wait for the right moment, and interrupt yet again, Sanosuke was not up for any casual chit chat. He rolled his eyes, turned away from his "friend" and continued eating his food. 

"So I guess you're still mad at me for yesterday, huh?" Yahiko asked, noticing his friend's lack of confrontation and he slammed his hand on the table, causing all of his chocolate pudding to go flying off his tray and landed smack dab in the middle of Sanosuke's frowning face, "Eheheh... Um... whoops..."

"Ya.... hi... ko...!!! That's it!!!" Sanosuke growled, his entire body shaking with his fury and the temple on the right side of his face, now covered in brown goop, began pulsating like a heart beat. Carefully, Yahiko rose from his seat, making sure not to make any vital movements and disturb the devil thing that had somehow taken over Sanosuke's body and he slowly took a few steps back, inching away from the harsh fires that had suddenly appeared around his friend.

"Eep!" Yahiko yelped as broke out into a run, barely missing Sanosuke's grab for his throat, "Oh my god! Sano, calm down! AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Get back here, you little brat!!!" Sanosuke shouted after him, only a few feet behind him and practically close enough to just reach out and grab him by his shirt, the chocolate pudding hastily sliding off his face as he ran, "Hey! Don't you run away from me! You gotta get tired sometime and when you do... I am gonna kick your ASS!"

Just then, Misao Makimachi walked into the cafeteria, toting her flute case in her right hand as she strolled in, looking over a few heads in the crowd to search for someone she knew. She frowned when she didn't spot the spiky haired prom date of her's that she was looking for and she stood up on a chair to get a better view. 

Immediately, Yahiko stopped in his tracks when he saw her and his food jumped to his throat. He knew instantly that she was looking for him to finish off one of her stories of band camp, the very thing that scared Yahiko more than the plague, and he prayed for a swift death to come over him; something Sanosuke would gladly take advantage of.

Swearing out loud, Yahiko quickly dove under the nearest table, hiding under the dark covers of the table top, and peered from between the table legs at the blue eyed girl standing overhead, overlooking the entire cafeteria. Sanosuke had to skid his new sneakers across the cafeteria floor to stop himself in time from bumping into an entire line of freshmen and he gave his soon-to-be-victim a puzzled expression at his sudden fear of something (or someone) behind them.

Sanosuke turned around, the girl on top of the tables catching his eye as he realized that she was probably looking for Yahiko. An evil grin grew across Sanosuke's face and he made a loud signaling whistle, placing two fingers in his mouth to catch the girl's attention. At the loud sound, Misao turned to the location it had come from and saw Sanosuke waving at her. She gave him a confused face, but she walked over when he pointed to something underneath the table he was standing in front of with many frantic pointing gestures. 

Curious, Misao strolled over, and Sanosuke smiled at her when she approached. Yahiko let out a gulp, aching for God to have pity on his poor soul and grant him his wish for invisibility, but Sanosuke obviously had other ideas. There was no way in the world, he was going to pass up an opportunity to embarrass Yahiko for what he did yesterday and this one was just thrown right into his lap. Smiling wider at the short girl, he again pointed to his so-called friend underneath the table, putting his hand to the side of his mouth to speak. 

"He's under there," Sanosuke whispered, pointing at Yahiko's shaking figure, trying his best to keep his presence hidden from Misao's view, but it was too late. Misao had already bent down and seen him, a growing smile on her face. 

The moment she saw him, her eyes brightened up into giant glowing coals and she grinned at him. Yahiko could have sworn he would have peed in his pants if there weren't so many people around. 'No! She's not taking me alive!' Yahiko screamed in his head, 'If she wants me, she'll have to take me kicking and screaming! I'd rather I just die right now and have her let my dead body rest in peace! Run, Yahiko, run! Damn it! Why won't my legs move?! This would be so much easier if I wasn't scared shitless!' 

Instantly, she grabbed his arm, pulling him hastily out from under the table and Yahiko let out a little yelp at her unexpected strength. Linking her arm through his, Misao leaned her head against Yahiko's shoulder, causing Yahiko to stare at her with wide frightened eyes.

"Hey Yahiko! I didn't get to finish my story yesterday! I guess I should just tell you the rest of it now, huh? Well, anyway... So this one time, at band camp, we were making this campfire and this guy couldn't find any wood, so he threw in his flute, but he needed it for band camp. Which was pretty stupid of him to do. So anyway, the flute wouldn't burn like the wood did and he tried to pull it back out, but he burned himself and it was so funny! And then, I took care of his arm, I learned to do that at band camp, and he was complaining and complaining that I was hurting him because I had no idea what I was doing and it was so funny! And another time, at band camp!"

"Hey, you know, Yahiko was just talking about you, Misao!" Sanosuke lied, smiling like he had been born with a grin on his face, "Yeah! He thinks all your stories are really interesting and he just loves to hear them. Yeah, he thinks you're really hot! Yahiko was telling me all about you, all sorts of stuff like... how much he likes you and your band camp stories, and all that! In fact, he was just about to go look for you! But I guess you beat him to it! I don't think you should ever stop telling him all your exciting band camp stories!" 

Yahiko shot Sanosuke a shocked look, violently shaking his head, his mouth hanging open in surprise at the malevolent plan. Yahiko mouthed to his friend, telling him to stop, but Sanosuke just gave him a thumbs up. 

"Really?!" Misao asked excitedly, hugging Yahiko until he thought his rib cage might burst, "Oh my gosh! That's so great! We can go hang out all the time now and it'll be just like this one time, at band camp where we all had to play charades and I didn't know how so I just made it up and no one knew what I was doing and it was so funny! Oh, and this one time, at band camp...!"

"Noooooooo!!!!" Yahiko shrieked, yanking his arm away from her and running out of the cafeteria with his arms flailing out and about in the air, "Get me outta here!!! No more! No more! I can't take it anymore!!!"

"Wait up, Yahiko!" Misao yelled after him as she skipped her way down the corridors, not even really making an effort to run. She was practically right behind him even though Yahiko was running as fast as he could, "Hang on! I didn't get to finish my story yet! Okay, I guess I'll tell you while we run! So this one time, at band camp....!"

"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!" Yahiko screamed, running even faster, causing Misao to break out into a run, catching up with him without even breaking a sweat, still talking about... what else?

  
  


Sanosuke smiled with satisfaction at his cruel plan. He had at first thought that maybe he had gone too far with the whole, 'Yahiko just absolutely loves your stories about band camp,' thing, but on the other hand, revenge was a bitch. 'That should keep him from bugging me for a while,' Sanosuke thought, getting up from his seat to get in the lunch line. He had been so proud of his accomplishment of terrorizing Yahiko that he had made himself hungry. He walked over, his hands in his pockets, but took them out so he could grab a tray and slide it down the counter, bumping his tray right into Mina's. He muttered an apology and Mina gave him a polite nod before going back to selecting from the school's "gourmet" food. 

Mina frowned at the coleslaw, stuck her tongue out at the meatloaf, and took on three scoops of white rice, ignoring the limit of only one per person. Sanosuke noticed, but he figured that if she took three than he was entitled to take four. 

"I won't tell if you won't," Mina said as she saw Sanosuke take a humongous amount of rice and plop it down in the middle of his plate and Sanosuke put two fingers up to his forehead as if in salute and they continued moving their trays down the counter.

"So, Megumi told me that you were spreading rumors about Kenshin," Sanosuke said, picking up a bowl of soup and placing it on his tray, "What happened, did you two hook up or something?"

"What?! You've got to be kidding me!" Mina protested, and she looked around for any unwanted eavesdroppers, "Well, I guess it'd be okay if I told you now, not like he's gonna go anywhere after the bathroom thing. Anyway, so Kenshin goes over to me and he says he needs my expertise about something, the clever guy knew I was well known for gossiping, and he said he'd pay me thirty thousand yen to tell a bunch of girls some good rumors about him. So, he gave me the money and I did his bidding."

"So he bribed you into telling people he has a twelve inch dick?!" Sanosuke asked, appalled at Kenshin's good thinking, but at the same time, he was shocked at the idea of Kenshin's mind even crossing the border line of that of a gentlemen's.

"Huh?! No!" Mina exclaimed, her eyebrows furrowing as she spoke, "You actually think that a guy like Kenshin could think of something like that all by himself?! Nah uh, I don't think so! I made up all the rumors and he just coughed up the money."

"Ah, I see..." Sanosuke said, scratching his chin in understanding, "That's actually pretty clever of Kenshin to do. Who'd a thunk that he'd be able to think of something like that on his own! Too bad his reputation isn't going anywhere anymore... Where is he by the way?"

"Outside, rotting in peril probably," Mina replied with a shrug, "well, I'm bringing this food outside so I'll see you later. Oh, by the way, Megumi is really looking forward to the choir state competition this Saturday! I hope you two do really well with your duet!"

"The competition's THIS Saturday?! As in tomorrow?!" Sanosuke asked, flabbergasted at the news, "I thought it was next! There's no way I can make it to the competition tomorrow! It's the last lacrosse game of the year! Coach Hiko'll kill me if I don't go, and I mean that literally! He'll never drop the 'god-damn-it's'! He's gonna come after me with a lacrosse stick!"

"Oh, wow," Mina said, worry crossing over her face, "You better explain this to Meg. I'm sure she'll be a little disappointed, but she'll probably understand."

"You think so?" Sanosuke asked and Mina nodded. He really hoped so; the last thing he wanted was for Megumi to be mad at him. He had been looking forward to the state competition too, but now his schedule was just falling apart. "Okay, well, she's out in the quad, right?"

"Yeah, last time I checked anyway...," Mina answered, still holding her books to her chest and trying to balance the lunch tray with her knee, "You go get her, Lover Boy!"

Sanosuke ran off towards the quad, crossing his fingers as he went for good luck. He didn't want Megumi to be mad at him for missing the competition and he hoped Mina was right about the whole 'she'll understand' thing. 'Fox, please don't be mad,' Sanosuke prayed, finally spotting her sitting with Kaoru and Tsubame in the middle of the grass and he slowed his pace into a walk, 'God, I hope she doesn't hit me...' Sucking in a sharp breath of air and mustering up his courage, he took his time walking over to her, one little baby step at a time.

"I couldn't do it!" Kaoru cried, pushing the Bible at Tsubame and Megumi, but the girls just dropped their hands at their sides, "I almost got caught with it! Come on, you guys, take it already!"

"We don't need it, Kaoru," Tsubame said, shaking her head at her and she placed her hands behind her back in refusal, "you're the only one that could actually use some of that knowledge, you know! You should take advantage of it and put it to good use!"

"Yeah, you are the virgin after all," Megumi agreed, flipping her hair over her shoulder, ignoring Kaoru's pleas to take the book away from her, "you take it. It's your's now until the end of the year."

"Tsubameeeee! Megumiiiiiiiiii!" Kaoru whined, raising her voice at the end of their names to increased the volume, "Please! Just take this out of my hands now and I'll... I'll uh... do your homework for History!"

"Wellllll..... I don't know," Megumi teased. Actually the offer was quite tempting since History was not the best subject for Megumi and Kaoru had like an A plus plus or something. "I'll tell you what, I'll take it for two days and return it to you the night before prom. You know, just in case you're planning on something that night..." Megumi said, nudging her with her elbow and giving her a wink, her fox ears popping up, "Ohohohoho!"

"Okay, fine, and I guess I'll be doing your History homework for three days then?" Kaoru asked, cursing herself for bringing up the idea. Tsubame smiled and Megumi nodded as she took the Bible from her grasp, and she turned ninety degrees to her locker. Spinning the lock to it's correct combination, but the door refused to budge. She pulled at the stubborn door, straining a little when pulling the handle and her eyebrows creased together as she tried to pry open her locker. 

Sanosuke walked over, punched the locker right over the handle, and it popped open in an instant, swinging wide and Megumi leaned back to avoid her face being struck by the door. Turning, she smiled at Sanosuke in thanks and quickly shoved the book inside before he could see it. Slamming it closed before he could ask what it was, she locked it and turned to fully face him with her body.

"Hey!" she said and Tsubame and Kaoru automatically began walking away to leave the two alone; Megumi failed to notice, "What's up?"

"Uh... you see, there's this thing that I just realized and I thought you should know..." Sanosuke muttered, his hand behind his head and his eyes only half open, nervously looking at her with only quick glances, "I have this game on Saturday, this Saturday, and it's the last game of the year and um... it's at five o'clock afterschool over at Tokyo High. It's at the same time as the competition and..."

"You can't go to the competition..." Megumi concluded with a nod, looking down at the ground to hide her disappointment.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry. I thought they were on two different Saturdays," Sanosuke said, knowing that even though she wouldn't admit it, she was upset, "I didn't mean to let you down or anything. It's just that it's our last game and they beat us last time so I really want kick their asses and all... I'll make this up to you, I swear!"

"It's okay, I understand," Megumi replied solemnly, nodding her head again to reassure him. She had wanted to sound sincere with her answer, but it came out a little wavering, luckily, Sanosuke didn't seem to catch it. "I know that lacrosse is pretty important to you and you should just do what makes you happy. I mean, it is our last year here and you should remember it as doing what you wanted to."

"So, you're not mad?" Sanosuke asked, tilting his head to the side to look her in the eye and she looked back up at him, hoping he wasn't a mind reader and he couldn't see how disheartened she really was, "You're not gonna like have a fit or anything? No hitting? No bashing of the head? No yelling? Not even a little nag?! You're not gonna call me a stupid Rooster-head?"

"No, I'm not mad at you," Megumi said, but she couldn't keep the slight slump from her shoulders, "I just... Good luck with your game."

"Thanks," Sanosuke said, not sure if she was being sarcastic or not, but he took it as a compliment, "and I hope the competition goes well too! Maybe we'll both kick Tokyo High's asses eh? Anyway, again, I'm really sorry. Thanks for understanding, Fox. I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah, later..." Megumi said, the last part barely above a whisper and Sanosuke gave her a wave before walking away towards the field for lacrosse practice. 

Heaving a heavy sigh, Megumi leaned back on her locker, thankful for it's support or else she would have fallen on the ground. She was disappointed no doubt, but she couldn't exactly hold it against him if he preferred to go to his game instead of going to the choir competition. It really was up to him, but either way, she still wished he was going to be there. She started to move from her position against the locker, but she quickly jumped back when she was almost toppled over by a frantic speeding Yahiko. He ran right past her, knocking over a few people in his way, screaming at the top of his lungs for God to spare him. His arms were flailing about in the air as he ran like the Devil himself were after his soul. 

"God, if you can hear me now, please, give me wings so I can fly away from here!!! No, actually, from her!" Yahiko shrieked, "Dear God, kill me now!"

Megumi leaned forward with a confused frown, examining his disappearing body as it grew smaller into the distant hallway, his screams for help slowly dying down, and she leaned forward again, only to be pushed back for a second time when a short girl in Megumi's history class ran past her as well. 

Curiously, Megumi turned her head around the corner, watching them run, Yahiko's body long gone from the school's hallway. Misao was about twenty seconds behind Yahiko and Megumi doubted it would stay like that for long as she watched the girl run down the hall after him. Misao had impressive speed for such a tiny looking girl, but the most surprising thing about her was the loud boom of her voice as she beckoned Yahiko to come back to her.

"Yahikooooooooo!" Misao called, the light padding of her sneakers against the tiles on the floor getting closer and closer to him, "I'm so glad you thought up this idea of exercise! Did I ever tell you that I'm the fastest girl in the entire school? I trained for that at band camp! Hey, that reminds me, I didn't finish telling you about my first year at band camp! Oh, it was so much fun! Okay, here goes: So this one time, at band camp.....!"

  
  


A/N: Well, I put it more Misao for all her fans out there! Yay! Okay, the next chapter has a little more running on Yahiko's part, I think you know who from, and some more of the couples. Yes, you heard right, there's not just S/M in there, there's also some K/K! Sorry if you were waiting for it, but it's there now! Thanks to all my reviewers! And just as a side note, I know I usually update pretty fast, but I won't be as quick now because I just got in school and all my teachers are slave drivers! Ahhh! 'Til next time, see you later!


	14. Whatever Gets You Motivated

Disclaimer: RK, American Pie, and Not Another Teen Movie are all not mine. End of discussion.

  
  


Chapter 13:

"Whatever Gets You Motivated"

  
  


"Move it, god damn it!" Hiko yelled from the sidelines of the field at the lacrosse team, "I said move it, Sagara! Don't look at me like you don't speak any god damn English! Saito! Get it together, come on! God damn it, make the god damn goal already! Don't make me go over there! Yeah, yeah, yeah! You better make that, god damn it! YES!!!!!!!! God damn you, Tokyo High, we're gonna pummel your asses into the ground!" 

The point was gained by Sanosuke, but the effort didn't seem at all worth it if all he received was a few non-encouraging rants of profanity from his coach who he sincerely hoped would retire soon and live in some old folk's home closed off from all other human life forms. Specifically him. Now, tired and exhausted from running all the way across the field and avoiding getting hit by oncoming opponents, Sanosuke tried to hustle back into position and conjure up a passive smile for his teammates. Saito ran over behind him, giving him a pat on the back in approval as his other teammates congratulated him on his victory. But, with the game at hand and Coach Hiko yelling at him, Sanosuke's mind wasn't focusing on what was in front of him. Instead, his thoughts drifted to his canceled plans with Megumi for the choir competition. 

At another scolding from Hiko, Sanosuke snapped out of his thoughts enough to get into his correct position on the field behind Saito. With the referee's whistle blown, the ball was passed to him and he quickly made his way over to the other team's net, barely dodging two people that had tried to tackle him, but he was knocked to the ground by the third. The wind was completely knocked out of him as he fell backwards onto the grass and Saito swiftly picked up where he had left off, swooping the ball into the lacrosse stick and scoring another goal for Jinchuu's team. At seeing Saito make the point, Sanosuke slowly got up from his somewhat fetal position on the ground and jogged over to the huddle that Hiko had ordered.

"Alright, you sorry ass piece of shits! Today is the day! Today is our day! I don't want any of you to think you're gonna score. You don't score until you score, god damn it! Are you hearing me, god damn it?!" Hiko demanded and every team member nodded their heads in agreement, already used to his constant swearing, "You gotta think about this as the sum of all your god damn years at Jinchuu! You wanna be remembered as the best god damn team there ever was?!"

"Hell yeah!" all the team members echoed, all except Sanosuke, who was still trying to catch his breath. 

"You better, god damn it!" Hiko shouted, "Now, get your god damn asses out there and make me proud! Not like you ever did before, you little shits! God damn it, Sanosuke! Are you listening to me, god damn it?! Get your head outta the god damn clouds, boy! What the hell is wrong with you, god damn it?! Did you get you hit your head that hard or something?! Look at me when I'm talking to you, god damn it! Now, you're having a rough day right now 'cause you didn't make that god damn point, and I'm pretty god damn pissed at you right now! Lucky for you, Saito picked up where you left off and cleaned up your god damn mess! If I ever see you fail me again, you're gonna regret ever signing up for this god damn team, Sagara!"

Every team member was wincing at Hiko's non-stop yelling. Lucky for them, most of the scolding was toward Sanosuke for screwing up and the endless god-damn-its just didn't seem to have a ceasing point. Sanosuke felt obligated to nod at his coach, but he stopped himself. 'I don't need this shit!' he thought, 'In fact, what the hell am I doing here?! I got somewhere else to be! Screw this!' Sanosuke automatically stood up after his thoughts, causing Hiko to yell even louder.

"Where the hell do you think you're going, god damn it?!" Hiko shouted at Sanosuke's rising figure, "We're not finished with the god damn game yet! Sit your god damn ass down on that god damn seat right now, god damn it! You better just suck this god damn failure up and get on with it!"

"Good luck with the rest of the game, Coach, guys," Sanosuke said, nodding to all the people that surrounded him, slowly retreating a little more off to the field, "Go Jinchuu!" And with that, Sanosuke sped off of the sidelines, Hiko screaming at the top of his lungs for him to get back over there so he could yell at him some more, but he was already too far off to hear him. 

Kenshin, Yahiko, and the forever stalking Misao stood up from the sidelines to watch their friend run off so unexpectedly and all three in unison titled their heads to the side in confusion. Misao, not realizing what was going on, jumped up on Yahiko's shoulders, despite his protests that she weighed a ton, and looked after Sanosuke's disappearing figure.

"I gotta get there in time, gotta make it there," Sanosuke chanted again and again, "Yeah, sure, maybe thinking that is gonna help!" He cursed his own stupidity for not realizing where he needed to be earlier and for wasting his time being screamed at by Coach Hiko. 'You should just do what makes you happy. I mean, it is our last year here and you should remember it as doing what you wanted to.' Megumi's words came flooding back to his brain as he ran faster to the auditorium, his lacrosse uniform blowing in the wind, making it harder for him to get there in the nick of time with even nature against him. 'Do what makes you happy,' Sanosuke thought to himself, 'and there's nothing that makes you happier then seeing her. Move your ass! They're gonna start any minute now and you don't even have the outfit on! Soujiro better not be macking on Megumi or I'll...!'

  
  


"Sagara?! Moron?!" Saito called after him, looking back only to see a tiny black speck in the distance. Saito frowned at his teammate's resistence, but within two seconds, he shrugged his shoulders and his frown turned into a cocky smile. "He'll be back...." He nodded reassuringly, but only received a huge bump when Hiko smacked him over the head and ordered them all to forget about it and finish the god damn game.

  
  


"Where's he going?" Misao asked, still sitting on top of Yahiko's shoulders even after Sanosuke was long gone.

"Probably as far away from you as possible...," Yahiko muttered under his breath and he pushed her off his shoulders as roughly as he could without her getting hurt. Unfortunately, he pushed her a little too hard and she hit the ground with a loud thunk. "Whoops..." Yahiko winced, only half-heartedly as he watched her spin around in circles with a million little Yahikos encircling her head. Seeing this as a great window of opportunity, Yahiko grabbed Kenshin by the arm and half-dragged him out of the bleachers. "Quick, Kenshin! Now's our chance! Let's get outta here!" Yahiko then fled from the field with Kenshin at his heels as they both took advantage of Misao's lack of attention.

A few seconds later, Misao shook herself to the ache in the back of her head and she stood up to confront Yahiko about being more careful when she realized that he was nowhere to be found. Placing her hands on her hips, she climbed up on the railing to overlook the entire field and she finally spotted him and Kenshin running across Tokyo High's parking lot towards the direction Sanosuke had gone.

"Yahiko!!!! You're not getting away this time!" Misao shouted loud enough for the whole audience to hear her, her voice only giving Kenshin and Yahiko the inspiration to run even faster. Taking off at almost lightning speed, Misao ran after them, swift as a ninja, and even stopped to pick up a hot dog on her way over. She'd catch up with them eventually.

  
  


"I close my eyes at night! Wondering where..." Soujiro sang, but trailed off, "Uh... line!" 

Megumi rolled her eyes at her new partner, turning away from him to hide her obvious disappointment. It just wasn't fair that she had to get stuck with this dweeb when she could be standing there with Sanosuke at that moment. Megumi sighed, knowing that that thought was just going to make her feel even worse about this whole thing. Not only was Soujiro a bad singer, but his smile just plain creeped her out; he was always just too happy for his own good. 

Megumi heard soft footsteps approaching her from behind and thinking it was Miss Tomoe she didn't bother turning around. It was her teacher's idea to replace Sano with Soujiro anyway, and right now, that didn't make her number one on Megumi's favorite people list.

"So are you ready or what?" Sanosuke asked from behind her, a warm gentle hand on her shoulder that sent shivers up her spine, and Megumi turned at the sound of his voice.

"Sanosuke! What are you doing here?" Megumi asked, surprised by his sudden decision to show up, "What about your game?"

"I'm not playing," Sanosuke said, his voice a little ragged from running all the way over there and he took in a deep breath before he continued, "I realized that I have somewhere else to be and I'd rather remember high school doing what makes me happy, just like you said. So I'm here because what makes me happy, is being with you." Numerous "Awww's" came from the entire female population that was close enough to hear and Megumi felt her heart melt.

Soujiro's smile slightly faltered at Sanosuke's arrival, the corner of his usual grinning mouth beginning to twitch and quiver. Tonight was supposed to be his night to shine and within a tiny tenth of a second, it was taken from him. His eyes suddenly became harder, their innocence leaving behind harsh black pupils and his smile was nowhere to be found. As if he were some kind of lunatic, Soujiro went all out and jumped around the entire back stage, hitting walls with his head and kicking at posts. 

"Ahhhh! Wahhh! Ahhh! Rahhhh! Am I not going to be able to do the duet now?!" Soujiro demanded, looking frantically at everyone else in the back of the auditorium, not able to keep his usual smile on his face when he was so upset, "What about Soujiro?! Be nice to Soujiro! He's good people!"

"Soujiro, you suck," Shishio stated as plainly as he could, rolling his eyes at the stupid man next to him, "and wipe that smile off your face already! If you're cool, you win, if you suck, you die. That's nature." 

Ignoring the fact that the usually quiet Soujiro had suddenly fallen off his high horse and gone nuts, Sanosuke wrapped his arms around Megumi to pull her closer. There were no objections on her part as she relaxed in his arms. 'Finally...' they both thought at the same time, 'we can finally be alone... and Yahiko is nowhere to be found!' Sanosuke leaned down to kiss her, both their eyes closing before the impact and Megumi tilted her head up to receive it.

"Alriiiight! Let's get this show on the road!" Yahiko yelled from out in the audience, stopping Megumi and Sanosuke from continuing any further, their lips only inches apart, "Yeah! Wait a second, where's Sano?! I don't see him anywhere! Crap, did he perform already?! Sano?! Hey Sano! You here?!"

"God damn it, Yahiko!!!!" Sanosuke cursed aloud and he glared daggers at the curtain in front of him where Yahiko was sitting in the audience, "That's three times already!!!"

"Achoo! Eheh... Hm, I guess someone must be talking about me... NAH!" Yahiko said, wiping his nose on his sleeve and he suddenly brightened up as a thought drifted into his head, "Hey! Anybody wanna hear ME sing?!" Not even waiting for anyone to answer, he stood up on his chair to level his voice. Kenshin sunk low into his seat cushion, covering his face so no one could see him with Yahiko as he let out a deep breath before singing at the top of his lungs. "And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII will always love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Several people in the audience turned around to shush Yahiko and he shook his fist at each and every one of them. The anger inside him rising at the familiar scenario of everyone telling him to shut up.

"Hey! You shut up!" Yahiko shouted through gritted teeth, "I'm here to see my friend sing so just leave me alone, will ya?! Jesus Christ, people! Whoa! Hey, that was unnecessary!" Yahiko quickly tried to dodge the flying water bottle and food thrown in his direction, but was hit multiple times. "Hey! Quit it already! I'll shut up, okay?! Sheesh!" Sitting back down in his chair next to Kenshin, he grumbled about how extremely rude people were these days and that they simply didn't appreciate good singers like himself like they should. Kenshin covered his mouth to keep from laughing out loud at the chocolate popsicle sticking to Yahiko's hair and he settled back in his seat, no intention whatsoever on telling his friend about the sticky object.

"One day, you'll see! You'll all see!" Yahiko yelled again and he pointed at all the people in the audience with an accusing finger, "You're gonna regret the day you told me to shut up!"

"Yahiko! There you are!" Misao said excitedly as she plopped down beside him before Yahiko could make a break for it and get out of there, "How sweet of you to take me to the choir competition! How'd you know I loved singing?! This reminds me of this one time, at band camp, we had this dance and we had to play our instruments, I learned to play mine at band camp, and then....blah, blah, blah... and it was so much fun! And then this one time, at band camp..." Misao suddenly stopped talking as the curtain came up to reveal Jinchuu's choir and turned to shush Yahiko to be quiet. "Jeez, Yahiko! Why do you always have to talk so much?!" Misao complained and Yahiko and Kenshin gave her quelling looks. Yahiko opened his mouth to say something when Misao put a finger to her lips, whispering a harsh, "Shh!" and pointed at the stage. (A/N: Sound a little familiar?)

  
  


Back at the field, all of Sanosuke's lacrosse teammates were still standing in the exact same spot as they were before, despite Hiko's scolding. Saito leaned on his lacrosse stick and looked over his shoulder for what seemed to be the millionth time in about five minutes before finally realizing something.

"Uh, guys?" Saito said and all of the lacrosse team turned to look at him, their full and undivided attention focused on him, "I don't think he's coming back..."

"Well, thank you for your god damn amazing observation, Captain Obvious!" Hiko yelled again and he smacked every single team member over the head to get their attention back on the him, "Wake up, god damn it! With Sanosuke or not, we've got a god damn game to finish, god damn it! Now, get up off you god damn asses and don't you god damn disappoint me! God damn it!"

Meanwhile, at the choir competition...

  
  


I close my eyes at night, close my eyes

Wondering where would I be without you in my life Ooh!

Everything I did was just a bore, just a bore

Everywhere I went seems I've been there before

But you brightened up for me all of my days

With a love so sweet

In so many ways!

I just wanna stop, and thank you, Baby,

I just wanna stop, and thank you, Baby!

How sweet it is to be loved by you!

  
  


"Yeah! Sanosuke, you fucking rule!" Yahiko cheered from the audience as the song ended and the choir gave a bow, "Score, baby! We're gonna win this award, you bet your ass we are!"

"Will you be quiet already?!" Kaoru scolded, finally turning around to the annoying man behind her and her eyes widened when she realized who it was, "YOU! I should've known that there was no one as stupid as you to swear and yell in front of so many senior citizens! You, Little Yahiko, have serious issues with shutting up!!!"

"What'd you say, Ugly?!" Yahiko snarled at the girl in front of him, rising from his chair to glare at her, "I'm not little, so don't you call me it! And what the hell are you doing here?! You got some kind of stalking problem or something?! Look, Kaoru, I know you must have some really big crush on me or something and I'm flattered, but ugly girls aren't really my type..."

"Yeah! You tell her, Yahiko!" Misao cheered on, lifting her arms up to wrap around him and Yahiko cringed at her tight embrace, "Yahiko is so great! It's too bad you didn't get him though. Oh well! More for me then!!!"

Kaoru turned to Kenshin for an explanation, but Kenshin just shrugged his shoulders. In truth, even he was confused about the girl that seemed to be literally obsessed with Yahiko. Just all of a sudden, Misao started following him around wherever he went and Yahiko always tried to ditch her. Of course, Kenshin could see why, since the girl was an annoying little pest, but he still tried his best to keep from going after her with an umbrella so she'd just go the hell away. He gave Kaoru a 'don't ask me' look and the both of them, as quietly and slowly as possible made their way out of their aisles, away from the clingy Misao and her velcro buddy, Yahiko. 

Yahiko looked up at them with pleading eyes for them to help him, but Kaoru had no sympathy. She simply flipped her hair over her shoulder and turned on her heel to leave. Yahiko threatened to throw eggs at her ugly face under his breath and he turned to Kenshin, desperately wishing that his friend would just get Misao off of him. Kenshin looked from Kaoru's disappearing figure to Yahiko's helpless squirming one and he gave his friend an apologetic look.

"Nooooooooooo!" Yahiko screamed as Kenshin took off after Kaoru without even glancing back, "Kenshin! Wait! Oh, I see! You're joking, right?! This is all some big joke! Haha! Yeah, I get it! very funny! Yeah, woohoo... eheheh... So, can we cut it out now?! The joke's over, people! Kenshin?! Uh.... Kenshin...? COME BACK!"

  
  


A/N: HELLO! Yes, I know, I'm sorry I haven't updated in like forever, but I've been really busy with school and projects... I'm up to my knees in essays and worksheets, people! Sorry for the delay, but I'll try to update as fast as I can. Hehehe... I just love Hiko's character. But did all his god damn it's get annoying? I dunno, I based him off the coach in Not Another Teen Movie, which I don't own by the way, and he said god damn it a lot. Anyway, hope you liked the chapter. Next up, it's prom time! Woohoo! waves around party flag Eheheh... Got a little carried away there... Keep on reading and as always, reviews are welcome! 


	15. The Truth About Prom

Disclaimer: American Pie and RK are definitely not mine. If they were, I wouldn't be so poor!

  
  


Chapter 14:

"The Truth About Prom"

  
  


"Kaoru! You really need to get outta this corner and mingle a little bit! I'm serious! That can't be healthy!" Mina preached, hands on her hips as she stood determinedly in front Kaoru, "This is your senior prom for crying out loud! You need to get up from that chair and enjoy being here! This is our last dance of high school, you do realize that don't you? Come on, Kaoru, if you can't find someone to dance with then I'm gonna go find someone for you!"

"What?! No!" Kaoru protested, standing up immediately with frightened wide eyes, "I can find someone to dance with if I wanted to! I just... I just don't feel like it right now."

"You've got to be kidding me," Mina said, throwing her arms in the air in exasperation, "This is prom, it's supposed to be fun! sigh Well, okay, fine. If you don't feel like dancing, I guess I'll just leave you alone..."

"Really?" Kaoru asked, finally looking up at her friend with a grateful smile.

"No!" Mina exclaimed, making Kaoru wince at her brutal exclamation, momentarily putting her guard down and Mina was able to grab her by the arm, "That's it! Come on! I'm taking you out on the dance floor and you're gonna dance with me, Megumi, and Tsubame!" Mina then dragged a reluctant Kaoru through the crowds of people to where Tsubame and Megumi had found a spot on the dance floor and she shoved Kaoru roughly over to them.

"Hey Kaoru!" Tsubame said, "Where were you all this time?"

"I was just..." Kaoru started, but Mina cut her off.

"She was sitting all by herself over by that table over there! Luckily, I dragged her over here and now we're gonna make her have fun!" Mina announced, making Megumi and Tsubame nod in agreement to her plan. Kaoru looked on with a confused expression as Tsubame whispered excitedly into Megumi and Mina's ears. Shooting Kaoru a look, they pulled Kaoru away only a few feet from where Kenshin stood with Sanosuke and Yahiko and whispered back and forth.

"Kaoru, we all know how much you like Kenshin," Megumi whispered, a mysterious smile on her face, "and we all know for a definite fact that he likes you too. Maybe more so then you like him... but anyways, getting back to the point..."

"Yeah, what exactly is your guys' point anyway?" Kaoru asked, looking from one face of mischief to another, "What is going through those idiot minds of yours' this time? Even if Kenshin did actually like me like you say he does, which I really doubt, what do you expect me to do about it?! It's not like I'm just gonna go over, push him down on the floor, and demand that he just have his way with me!"

"You need to suck it up, Kaoru," Tsubame whispered, their group still in a tight huddle so no one could hear them, "You need to make your move on Kenshin already. He's not gonna be around forever, you know!"

Kenshin, Yahiko and Sanosuke were now starting to notice the whispering sounds coming from their little group and they looked over their shoulders every now and then to see what was going on. Yahiko grumbled something about how women were the weirdest things he had ever crossed paths with while sipping some more of his drink. However, Sanosuke and Kenshin became extremely curious as to what the girls were talking about. Sanosuke leaned closer to try and hear parts of their conversation, but Kenshin pulled him back with a tug on his tuxedo sleeve.

"That's rude, Sano," Kenshin said, "they could be talking about something very personal for all you know. If they wanted us to hear what they were saying I'm sure they would tell us, that they would."

"All the more reason to listen in!" Sanosuke said and he carefully took a long side step over to where the girls' huddle was and Yahiko followed, although he had to take two strides because Sanosuke's legs were a whole lot longer than his. Kenshin merely sighed and walked normally over so that he wouldn't have to stand all by himself. Sanosuke and Yahiko carefully leaned closer, stretching their hands as cups to their ears, thinking that maybe it would help act as a microphone.

Kenshin opened up his mouth to say something about how mad the girls would get when they found them eavesdropping when Mina's shout startled the three of them into jumping almost three feet in the air.

"You gotta pounce on him!!! Find a nice place, let's say... a closet! And then you just drag him over and...!" Mina shouted, but was cut off by all the girls who automatically shushed her and Megumi clamped her hand over Mina's mouth before she said anything else. 

Yahiko, Sanosuke, and Kenshin all fell over at hearing those words, all collected into a giant heap of black suits on the floor, and they stared up at the women only a few feet away from them. All four girls turned to them also, confused and amused at their present positions on the ground, but Kaoru turned a bright shade of red, one that far surpassed the color of Megumi's prom dress. Megumi, Tsubame, and even Mina, who still had her mouth covered by Megumi's hand, all gave them their best 'No, we were not doing anything suspicious,' smiles before they discreetly side stepped away like Broadway showgirls exiting off the stage. But they burst out laughing half-way across the dance floor, making the guys even more curious as to what in the world they were talking about.

"Okay... Now I gotta know what they're talking about!" Yahiko said, cleaning off the mess on his shirt from the drink he had spilt on it, "Hell yeah! They're like gonna go in some closet and do stuff! This dance just keeps getting better and better by the minute! Whoa, what if they're like gonna go do stuff... like with each other... Aw, Dude, that's gonna be so great, man!" 

Yahiko smiled and dashed over to where the girls had made their new destination, and huddling behind a few prom decorations, he peering over the ledge to look at them. Kenshin was about to run over and get him when Sanosuke grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him back, silently shaking his head. 

Yahiko, as slyly as possible, tiptoed over to the tables where the girls were now talking and he hid under a table nearby. He leaned closer to the table cloth barrier to hear what they were saying, but caught only bits and pieces of their conversation. 

"... I don't even know why you didn't ask him to prom," Megumi whispered before she sat down at the table Yahiko hid under, unknowingly stepping on his hand with her high heeled shoe and he drew back sharply and bit back a harsh swear word. Unaware of the pain she was inflicting upon their unwanted eavesdropper, Megumi crossed her legs, thus kicking out at Yahiko's stomach before she continued talking, "Mina's way is uh.... maybe a little bit too... intense for you. Remember, when in doubt, always use the Three Steps." Megumi crossed her legs the other way, again, hitting Yahiko, this time in the side of the head as she did so and he grabbed his throbbing temple which had practically doubled in size. He was really starting to doubt if finding out what they were talking about was even worth all this abuse. Normally Yahiko would have been reveling in the fact that where he now hid, he could see up Megumi's dress, but right now, he was concentrating too much on the pain she was imposing on him.

"What are the Three Steps?" Kaoru asked, also sitting down at the table across from the fox lady and she stretched her legs out to their full length under the table, pressing her black platform shoes into Yahiko's back and his nose pushed against the leg of Megumi's chair.

"Yeah, what are they?" Tsubame chimed in, eagerly sitting down next to Kaoru, and she pushed in her chair, unaware that it had caught onto the crotch area of Yahiko's pants, only centimeters away from something vital and Yahiko let out a tiny, "Eep!" at how close he came to being circumcised.

"I thought it was four," Mina said, scratching the back of her neck in confusion as she also took a seat, relaxing into her chair as she put her legs up on Yahiko's head and smiled, "Wow, when did the school become rich enough to afford foot rests?"

"Simple," Megumi replied with a flip of her hair, "they didn't."

"Then what the hell is under the table?" Mina asked, probing at Yahiko with her foot, "Hm, it's too weird shaped to be a pillow..." Tsubame then kicked at him, her foot coming into not-so-gentle contact with his groin and Yahiko practically screeched, but instead he settled on biting down on the leg of Megumi's chair to stifle the cry, or what he thought was the chair leg.

"Ow! What the fuck?!" Megumi cried as she pulled her foot out from under the table, "Something bit my shoe! Alright, whoever's under that table better come out right now or I'm gonna...!" 

Yahiko knew that threat or at least he better know it. After all, he'd only heard come out of Sanosuke's mouth about a million times already. Yahiko instantly bolted up from his hiding place and sprung out from underneath the table cloth, ripping the crotch area of his pants where it had been caught under the leg of Tsubame's chair and his hair now ruffled by Mina's constant probing.

"YAHIKO!" all the girls shouted, immediately getting up from their seats with a menacing glow in their eyes, "You are so dead!"

"Eheheh..." Yahiko laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head as the girls quickly advanced on him, their hands twisted into claws, and he frantically began backing away. Suddenly, the light bulb appeared over his head and he quickly pointed a few feet behind the girls, "Look! It's Freddie Prinze Junior!"

"Where?!" they all exclaimed, turning around to see their favorite actor, and in seeing that they fell for his trick, Yahiko dashed away at full speed to where Sanosuke and Kenshin still stood, but when he got there, he ran into the most dreaded person possible.

"There's my prom date!!!" Misao yelled, running at top speed towards Yahiko and she threw her arms around him, picking him up off the ground as she practically suffocated him with her squeezing, "I've been looking all over for you! Wow, you look so great! I spent almost half an hour waiting for you in the parking lot like you said, but you never showed up. I was starting to think that you forgot all about me! But, I guess you didn't! You were looking for me, huh?! Aw, you're so sweet! You're just like this one guy I met at band camp, he was sweet too, and he plays trombone... Actually, I don't wanna talk about him... Come on, let's go dance! Then I can tell you about all my band camp dances!"

"Have fun, Yahiko!" Sanosuke laughed, waving his hand at his frightened friend as he was led away from them by the surprisingly strong Misao. 

Misao was pretty much carrying Yahiko over her shoulder since the guy obviously wasn't going willingly and she pushed him out into the center of the dance floor, making him spin a little before taking her hold around his neck. Yahiko looked around for some kind of escape route, but found none. With all hopes of ditching Misao lost, he could only roll his eyes and pretend like he was having fun. 'This is gonna be one long ass night...' Yahiko thought as he tried to drown out Misao's endless blabbering about band camp by thinking about Tsubame. He found her sitting and chatting with Kaoru, Mina, and Megumi again, her friends all laughing and pointing at him with his prom date. It was somewhat of a relief and an insult. Relief because they would now probably lay off of trying to kill him and insult because well, duh! They were laughing at him!

"You know, we have dances like this at band camp, but they're way funner..." Misao said, oblivious to Yahiko staring off at Tsubame as she continued talking about more band camp stories that didn't get through to Yahiko's brain as her words flew right through one ear and out the other.

Sanosuke looked away from Yahiko and Misao dancing together and scanned his eyes over the crowds for Megumi. Knowing that it'd be easy to spot her in her fire engine red dress, he looked on for the familiar shade. Finally finding her all the way across the room laughing with her friends, Sanosuke, without even looking in Kenshin's direction, handed his friend the cup of punch he held in his hands. His eyes never left her form, they became glazed over as if in trance with a dozen traces of fire trailing in his pupils.

"Kenshin, I'll catch ya later. I gotta go to my date," Sanosuke said, wandering away from the red head next to him, barely hearing the silent, "Oro?" as he headed for the foxy lady among the crowds of seniors. 

Of course, she was still huddled with her friends, still whispering, and Kaoru's face bright was growing shades of red Sanosuke had never seen before. Sanosuke tapped Megumi on the shoulder and she whirled around so fast, her hair almost whipped him in the face. Every gold fleck in her eyes sparkled when she saw him, a growing smile on her face, and Sanosuke felt torn half-way between wanting to collapse or to puff out his chest in pride; the usual feeling he always got when she was around. Trying to keep his cool, Sanosuke cleared his throat. 

"Are you in the middle of something or do you wanna dance?" Sanosuke asked, making Mina nudge Megumi in the ribs, her eyebrows lifting up to unhuman heights as she nodded to her suggestively. Giving Mina a hard look at her embarrassing actions, Megumi turned back to Sanosuke with a smile, her face lighting up just a little brighter then usual when she made eye contact with him.

"I'll go," Megumi replied and she turned to her friends, "I'll be right back, okay?... Okay, Sano, let's go." Taking his hand, she followed him to the dance floor and he pulled her into dancing position with his hands around her waist. Casually resting her head on his shoulder, Megumi closed her eyes, making Sanosuke smile at how content she looked and how content he, himself, felt.

  
  


"So, Kamatari, you and Chou met at that party a while ago, right?" Tsubame asked, sitting down with Chou's rumored 'first girl' at a nearby table while everyone around them slowing danced to the music. Tsubame herself, didn't really like slow dancing so she always sat them out whenever slow moving music came on. Kamatari smiled at the mention of Chou and she nodded.

"Oh yeah, Chou and I had such a nice talk that night," Kamatari said, her eyes drifting off into space, "one of those deep conversations that let you know so many things about a total stranger and you feel like you really get to know someone."

"Uh huh... so you two had this really great talk before or after you guys hooked up?" Tsubame asked, elbowing Kamatari in the ribs in a 'if-you-catch-my-drift' kind of way and she looked at Tsubame with confused eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" Kamatari demanded, hoping with all her might that Chou had not gone and done what she was thinking he had. 

After Tsubame spent about five minutes explaining to her about what Chou had been saying around school, Kamatari got up in a rage, and stormed over to the stage after the current slow song ended. Aggressively, she grabbed the microphone and asked for everyone's attention. Every person in the entire cafeteria turned to face her on the stage, including Chou.

"Hello? Is this thing working? Okay, then. Excuse me, everyone. Sorry to interrupt, I just think that I have to clear some things up here," Kamatari said, "Chou is a liar. I never had sex with him, in fact, that loser is still a virgin. I just found out that he's been going around school saying that he had sex with me, but that's not at all true. It's literally and physically impossible to do that anyway! Since first off, I would never screw someone that pees in his pants when he's nervous and second, well... I got news for you, Chou. I'm a guy! I am a transvestite. A male cross-dresser. Yup, that's right, you've been going around school saying you fucked a guy. Let's see how far you get with that reputation! Thank you for your time, everyone!"

The room was utterly silent for about two seconds after Kamatari's speech until the entire senior student body erupted with outrageous laughter. Kamatari slowly walked down the steps of the stage, back down to the level ground, and headed over to the punch bowl, everyone applauding her...erm... him on the great promulgation. They all stepped back, pointing at Chou's still stunned figure in the middle of the cafeteria, a small wet spot expanding over the crotch area of his pants and everyone only laughed harder. 

After what seemed to be the longest moments of Chou's life and the endless laughter and pointing, someone got up and yelled that the bus to Saito's had just arrived and everyone scurried to get their things and their dates. Chou still stood in the same exact spot he was in until every single person had filed out of the cafeteria, his pants still wet, and his mouth hanging open in shock. That's when Saito walked over to him, giving him a light pat on his shoulder, and a short understanding nod.

"Hey, at least you got it all outta your system, man," Saito said with a smile before his smile broke out into hysterical laughter and he laughed and hollered, slapping his knee on his way out of the cafeteria, wiping away the few tears that formed in his eyes, "HAHAHAHAHA! Got it all outta your system! Hahahahahaha! Woo! That one's a keeper!"

  
  


A/N: Okay, let's take a vote! Who thinks that this chapter was a little harsh on Chou? entire world goes completely silent and crickets are heard in the background Okay then! I didn't think so either! Anyway, please review and I'll update a whole lot faster! Next chapter, Saito's party! Hm, I wonder what all our favorite RK couples are gonna do there... whistles innocently with hands behind my back... then suddenly realizes everyone is intently listening to me Hey! Find out for yourself!


	16. Making a Move the Right One

Disclaimer: As much as I would like to take the credit, I don't own RK or American Pie.  
  


Chapter 14:

"Making a Move...the Right One"  
  


"So anyway, this one time at band camp... Hey, Yahiko, how come you don't have any stories?" Misao asked, pulling on Yahiko's arm which was linked through her's as they walked inside Saito's house for the after-prom party, "I've got plenty of stories and you don't seem to have any..."

"Well, I do have stories, lots of them actually, they're just not exactly the same uh... stature of your band camp stories," Yahiko explained, thinking about all the humiliating stories and things he'd seen in his lifetime that he could tell his date about. Now that Misao was almost out of band camp stories, Yahiko found that she wasn't all that bad of a person. Annoying with her endless clinging and talking, but still, she was actually very nice. Misao's face lightened up at his input of conversation and she hugged his arm even tighter, cutting off circulation, and Yahiko winced from his growing bruise there because of the never-ceasing hold she had on his arm.

"What kind of stories? I wanna hear them! Are they like nasty porno things, like guy stuff, I wanna know!" Misao insisted, her eagerness making Yahiko very intrigued to tell her and he smiled. For once, he didn't even notice how close she was standing next to him or the fact that she was, again, hurting his arm; in a way he was kind of getting used to the pain. Yahiko cleared his throat before getting into his story.

"Okay, you want a nasty porno story? Okay, I got one for you," Yahiko replied, calmly sitting down on the couch with Misao, "So Saito finds this beer, right?...

Nearby, Saito is having a drink with some of his friends from the lacrosse team, unaware that Yahiko was retelling one of the most humiliating moments of his life. Saito paused in talking to glance down at his beer to check for a certain foreign liquid and in finding that his drink was okay, he gulped it down. It had become a habit to check on every single little thing he ever drank nowadays. Saito wasn't up for another vomiting-his-brains-out escapade so he made sure that whatever he was about to drink was just that, and only that.  
  


Meanwhile, Sanosuke and Megumi are walking outside in Saito's huge backyard, hand in hand, with only a few outside flourescent lights on and the stars in the sky to light up their way. 

"So, did you at least whip Tokyo High's butts while you were still playing or were you guys losing before you left?" Megumi asked, her red stiletto heels creating loud clacking noises with every step she took she over the stepping stones in Saito's mom's garden. Sanosuke grinned; not really caring where he stepped, after all, Saito was a jerk and the flowers weren't even all that nice anyway.

"Yeah, actually, those guys sucked," Sanosuke admitted with a nod of his head, "They got a whole lot lousier since we last played them. Hah! You should've seen this one idiot! He was on their team, but he went to the wrong goal! Aw, it was hilarious..." Sanosuke discreetly crunched down hard on a patch of daisies in the garden, grinding his heel down into it with a sneer. 'Stupid Saito...,' Sanosuke thought as he continued walking with Megumi, 'I should just trample all these damn flowers just for the heck of it!' Looking down at Megumi, Sanosuke changed his mind.

'Maybe later...' he thought, a more important matter coming to mind as he put off the bashing of the plants for later on.

Megumi sensed a change in the air and she felt a little awkward at his sudden silence. She shifted to look at him only to find his soft gaze on her. Sanosuke cleared his throat.

"Uh... this is gonna sound really bad and all, but I think I should say it anyway," Sanosuke said, giving her hand a slight squeeze before continuing, "I'm just kinda hoping you're not gonna laugh at me or somethin'... but here goes. I'm a...uh... well, you see, the thing is... I... I'm a virgin. And uh... me, Kenshin, and Yahiko, we all made this pact that we would all have sex before we go off to college and tonight was the night we were all supposed to do it."

"Uh huh... um, is this one of those read-between-the-lines things where you're asking me to have sex with you without actually asking me?" Megumi asked, a confused look on her face.

"What?! No! That's not what I meant. I was just... I wasn't trying to just throw this all on you or anything..." Sanosuke started again, but Megumi interrupted him.

"So then, what exactly are you trying to 'throw on me'?" Megumi asked, her fox ears popping up and a mischievous smile crossing her face, "Ohohohoho!"

"Well, actually... I mean! No! I... What I was trying to say was that, with you, that's not what I'm really going for here," Sanosuke corrected, his hand scratching the back of his head as he tried to sort out all his feelings into words ahem non-perverted words, that is, "'Cause I care about you a lot and I'm not just trying to get in your pants or anything like that. I mean, I want to, you can't really blame me there... Oh shit! I'm not really good at this.. Here, lemme try this again. Okay, I like the relationship we have now and I don't care what we end up doing tonight... it's really up to you on whether we're even gonna do anything at all. I really don't care if you just wanna sit around and talk, just being here is enough for me. I just thought you might like to know that..." 

"Wow. You must be the last survivor of your kind," Megumi replied with a sweet smile, her head nodding in approval to his words, "Guys like you don't come around every ten or so years knocking on my door, you know. I can actually count how many guys I know that wouldn't care if we hooked up tonight with one hand. Actually, no, I take that back.... I can count how many with just one finger! And that number includes you. You're not like every other guy out there, Sanosuke, you have a... different tone to you. You may very well be, the sole person I've ever dated that has never tried to pressure me."

"Oh, so now you're the one that thinks we're going out..." Sanosuke said, the usual smirk finding it's way over his face, "I thought it was just me..."

"Don't be a smart ass...," Megumi teased, pushing him away with a weak shove, but he automatically pulled back as if he were connected to her like a rubber band. 

Looking up at his face, Megumi wasn't sure if there were actual stars in his eyes or it was just a reflection from the sky above; either way, it made her lean closer to him. As if he had all the time in the world, Sanosuke slowly made his way down to her mouth, but stopped abruptly right before they collided. 

"What's the matter?" Megumi asked as Sanosuke pulled his face away from hers to look around them, suspicions growing in his paranoid mind. Megumi put a hand to his cheek to make him look at her again and she repeated her question.

"Nothing," Sanosuke said, the smile returning to his lips, "just checking to see if Yahiko was gonna interrupt this time or not... Lucky for him, that little punk isn't anywhere near here 'cause if he was even thinking about stoppin' me this time, I was gonna..." Sanosuke trailed off as he realized he was just wasting valuable lip-locking time and he shut up. "Sorry..." he said, "Now, where were we?" Megumi tapped her lips with her finger and Sanosuke nodded, "Yeah, I think that's about right." 

Leaning back down, he pressed his lips against hers, indulging in the much awaited kiss, when out of nowhere a pickle jar was thrown out of one of Saito's rooms, colliding with their only flourescent lamp, and shattering the glass. Sparks from the light bulb fell from the height of the lamp post, raining down like a shower of gold over the kissing couple. But those weren't the only sparks flying...  
  


'I need a drink!' Mina thought to herself, wandering over to the beer keg for the tenth time. She had already had her fair share of drinks that night, seven at least, and she was barely able to keep her balance and walk straight. She hiccupped frequently and made her way over, grabbing the closest cup she could find and gulping it down with one swig. 'Now hiccup I need a man!' Mina thought, scanning her eyes over the entire party crowd of seniors, but she was hardly able to recognize half of them with her horrible drunk-impaired vision.

A flash of red hair caught her eye and she quickly sauntered over to her childhood friend, Kenshin Himura.

"Kenshin! Hey!" Mina mumbled out, practically collapsing on him as she grabbed onto his shoulders for support, "Listen, I need to give you something for all that rumors you gave me for making those money about you!"

"Oro?! Mina, how much have you been drinking?! Eww, your breath smells terrible, that it does!" Kenshin complained, fanning the area around his face to bat away the aroma of strong alcohol from Mina's breath, "and I paid you to start rumors about me, not money, that I did. Mina, you must be very drunk. Are you feeling okay?"

"Who, me?! Yeah, I feel great! Come 'ere, Kenshin," Mina said, grabbing him roughly by the shirt collar, "I feel pretty bad for taking all that extra money from your pocket when you weren't looking so I'm gonna pay you back!"

"Oro?! You stole even more money from me?! Mina, how could you?!" Kenshin asked, shocked at her admitting to her crime, "I was wondering where all my money went, that I was..."

"Now, let's see how many good rumors I can spread about you after this!" Mina whispered as she pushed Kenshin into a nearby closet and closed the door behind them, "Come on, Kenshin, show a girl what you're really made of!"

"ORORORORORORORORORO!" Kenshin screamed, jumping away from Mina's grasp and he ran for the door, Mina chasing him as best she could around the tiny cramped space of the closet. As drunk as she was, Mina settled down, grabbing onto a nearby jacket that was hung onto a mop by the wall and she took hold of it, thinking it was Kenshin.

"Jeez, Kenshin, your hair's really soft," Mina murmured as she stroked the mop's hair, mistaking it for Kenshin's, "Hehe... I knew you'd give in! Whee!" Mina began twirling the mop around as she stumbled around, Kenshin was sure it was some sort of attempt at dancing with him, or what she thought was him anyway. Kenshin sweat dropped at seeing the strange display and as quietly as possible, tiptoed out of the closet. 

As soon as he was outside, he ran upstairs to hide in the first room that he laid eyes on. Running inside the door by the upstairs bathroom, Kenshin slammed the door behind him, leaning against the door and closed his eyes, panting for breath.

"Kenshin, what are you doing in my lounge room?" Kaoru asked and Kenshin jumped up in surprise. He hadn't even realized that he had once again, wandered into where Kaoru was staying at one of Saito's parties; only this time, he was scared shitless and running for his life.

"Oh, Kaoru, uh... I was just running from Mina because she uh... well, she was trying to..." Kenshin trailed off, his face turning as red as his hair at remembering the embarrassing event that happened only moments ago, "I'm sorry, that I am... I'll just leave if you want..."

"Oh no, that's okay," Kaoru said, getting up from her seat, and she went to stand next to him, "It'd be nice to have some company around for a change. It gets really boring down here with no one around..."

"I know how that is, that I do," Kenshin agreed, suddenly immensely aware of how close Kaoru was standing next to him and he felt like slapping himself to ease down the rising heat in his body, "I can't really stand to stay in crowded parties like that, it makes me a little uncomfortable to have so many people around me at one time, that it does."

"Me too," Kaoru said, leaning against the pool table in back of them, her hands placed behind her back to grip the table's edge, "is that why you're wandering off in my house or what?"

"I didn't mean to wander off or anything... I was just uh... finishing the tour from last time, that I was. Remember the first time I stumbled in the room you were in? I didn't really get to finish the tour because Yahiko ran in," Kenshin explained, but Kaoru's mind was obviously somewhere else. 

Turning to face her, Kenshin waved a hand in front of her face a few times, but got no response from her. Only a strange expression lay on her face and Kenshin watched her eyebrows crease at her thoughts. 

"Oro? Kaoru? Are you all right?" Kenshin asked, but he was again given no answer.

Kaoru's thoughts traveled back to what her and the girls had been talking about earlier that evening during prom. 'You gotta pounce on him!!! Find a nice place, let's say... a closet! And then you just drag him over and...!' Mina's words came flooding back to her. Mina didn't need to finish her sentence, it was actually very obvious how the ending of the story went and it was all pretty much self-explanatory. Having Mina's words, Tsubame's, and Megumi's encouragement in mind, Kaoru whipped her head around to face Kenshin beside her, an idea popping into her head that she had never before considered. Grinning evilly, Kaoru covered her mouth with her hand to stop herself from cackling like a witch and freaking Kenshin out, but the whole freaking out part had already been done.

"Kaoru? Are you feeling okay?" Kenshin asked, "You look a little flustered, that you do. Maybe you should lie down or something..." At that suggestion, Kaoru's face brightened up and she hastily grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, something that had been happening a lot to him lately, and she pushed him down on the pool table.

"That's a great idea, Kenshin!" Kaoru exclaimed with a smile, rolling over on top of him, "I think I should just lie down!" Bending over him, Kaoru kissed him hard on his lips and Kenshin's eyes widening in surprise at the unexpected action. But after a few moments, the kiss was returned and it became a little out of control. Okay, a lot out of control...  
  


A/N: Okay so no more complaints about more K/K coupling, alright? It's finally here! So sorry for the delay. I just couldn't really think of anything really good for them. Plus, I had to make it funny so it took a little more thinking, which is something I don't do very often so I hope you ppl liked the "action"! Please review! Oh and there's more K/K in the next chapter! gets applauded... very loudly Yes, thank you, thank you! Aw, you're all too kind! Okay, I gotta make a shout out to all the little people that got me here today... J/P Meet you all back at Saito's party! Buh bye!


	17. Complicated Only At First

Disclaimer: Me so sorry... Me don't own anyting, but meself... 

  
  


Chapter 15:

"Complicated Only At First"

  
  


"And then he just puked until the next morning!" Yahiko finished, throwing his arms up in the air and he and Misao burst out laughing.

"That is so funny! Did you make that story up all by yourself?" Misao asked between uproars of laughter and Yahiko's chuckling stopped abruptly at what she said.

"What?! I didn't make it up! It really happened!" Yahiko protested, turning to face her at accusing him of lying, "It's a true story I swear! I was wacking off and I left the cup in the bathroom, Saito walked in, drank it down and puked his brains out! That's the real story!"

"Yeah, riiiiiiiiiight..." Misao said with a shake of her head, not believing him at all with such an unbelievably story, "Okay, well, you need to touch up on those lying skills, Yahiko... And while you're doing that, I can tell you a little nasty-porno-guy-stuff story of mine! You wanna hear it?"

"Yeah, okay!" Yahiko said excitedly, wondering exactly what a girl like Misao had done that had to do with porn and nasty stuff like that, "Come on, tell me."

"Okay, well, this one time, at band camp, I was playing this game, I dunno if you know it but it's called 'Spin the Bottle' and I had to kiss this guy named Chou on the lips! And he plays the trumpet and I had to kiss him for twenty seconds! And everyone laughed at me because he was such a dork! But I didn't care because it was so funny! I think he goes to this school..."

"Yeah, actually, he does go here. You know the guy that took a whiz in his pants at prom? Yeah, well that's Chou," Yahiko said, still disappointed that Misao's story wasn't as nasty as he had hoped it would be.

"Oh, I thought he looked familiar! Oh well! Ooh! And this one time, at band camp, I was playing connect the dots with my music sheet and the picture came out to be a pussy!" Misao exclaimed and Yahiko nodded his head, not really listening to what she was saying until a few seconds later. Immediately, he spit out his beer from the startling turn of events and Yahiko gripped the side of the couch and turned to face her.

"EXCUSE ME?!" Yahiko spat, unsure if he heard her right and he asked her to repeat herself.

"What? Repeat myself? Why would I need to do that? I think you heard me perfectly fine, Yahiko Myojin. I was plaaayying connnecct the dooots and it came out to be a puuuuusssssyyyy!" Misao repeated, dragging the key words of the story out long enough for Yahiko's thoughts to sink in, "What? You think I don't know how to get myself off? Hell, that's what half of band camp is, sex education! So, are we gonna go to a room and screw or are you just gonna sit there and try to beat down Mr. Happy?"

"YEAH! Come on, let's go!" Yahiko said excitedly, grabbing her hand in his and he frantically ran up the stairs, tripping in his haste to get there as fast as possible, "I'm gonna score! I'm gonna score! I'm finally gonna score!!! Yeah, baby! Somebody up there loves me!" 

Pointing towards the sky, Yahiko blew the "angels" kisses and slammed the bedroom door shut behind them without even realizing what room he was in. Turning around, he recognized the room immediately. 

The light pink wallpaper was unmistakably Ugly's room color and for a moment, he thought to reconsider which room he would um... you know... in, but then he remembered how impeccably horny he was and Yahiko only shrugged his shoulders. Hell, he was so horny, he'd go screw her in the middle of the front yard if he could.

"This'll do! Yahoo!" Yahiko shouted, jumping on the bed, but he bounced off after hitting it a little too hard. Quickly, Yahiko got back up, praying to God that Misao had not just seen him make a complete idiot out of himself as he tried to pretend like nothing happened. Straightening out his tuxedo jacket, Yahiko cleared his throat, adjusted his snap-on tie, and tried to appear as appealing as possible. Too bad for him, it wasn't very appealing... 

Misao gave a subtle sigh before sitting down on the edge of the bed and she placed her purse in her lap and began rummaging through it for the condom she hid, you know, just in case something like this rolled around. Yahiko strolled over, and in a very deep and fake voice that he aimed to be seductive, he asked her, "Hey... Whatcha lookin' for?" 

"A rubber," Misao replied bluntly, finally finding it underneath her compact mirror, "Ahah! I found it! Okay, I got lubricated and regular, which one you want?"

Yahiko not even listening to a word she was saying to him, tilted his head from side to side, looking for some kind of angle he could look at her from and feel attracted to her. He found none. Turning his head left, right, diagonal, and even upside-down, Yahiko still didn't find himself physically attracted to her. 

Misao wasn't exactly super model material, and she definitely wasn't the type to win a contest for sexiest woman alive, but Yahiko figured she'd do fine. Besides, with his low will power and him being this damn hard, he was sure that he'd even find a grapefruit to be irresistibly sexy. At the strange look she was giving him, Yahiko snapped out of his daze of sexy grapefruits and brought his full attention to who was about to become his first partner in the fascinating world of S-E-X.

"I'm sorry, what'd you say?" Yahiko asked and Misao rolled her eyes at his short attention span, "No, really. I didn't hear you."

"Whatever, Yahiko. I guess this means we'll go with the regular then. No point in wasting a good one..." Misao grumbled under her breath, taking out the Trojan from her purse and handing it to him. "I hope you know what to do with it," Misao said, her head nodding toward his crotch area, "Actually, judging by the whole internet thing, we might need two..." Misao then turned back to her purse, ransacking through it for the extra condom she left inside. 

Yahiko's mouth dropped open at her mention of the 'internet incident', as he liked to call it, and stuttered, lifting his hand up in a matter-of-fact way, but the words couldn't slip from his mouth. Misao watched him curiously. 

"What? You think that I didn't see that? How could I miss it?!" Misao said with a giggle, "I don't have internet or anything, but I got a recorded disk of it at home from Saito. He was selling them at school the next day. That's practically the whole reason why I accepted this date in the first place. You're a winner, a sore loser when you don't get it right, but still a sure thing."

Yahiko scoffed, then began nodding his head in agreement, seeing as if he agreed, Misao would find it more attractive. It'd be better for her to think that he really was a sure thing, which he was; he'd as soon screw a girl as look at her. With Misao right next to him now and the usual arousal coming up to say hello, there was no point in putting himself down. Why bring himself down a few notches when he can get some ass right now? Servicing himself was getting kinda old anyway...

"Yes, I am," Yahiko agreed with a nod, his eyes widening as Misao pushed him down on Kaoru's pink bed sheets with such force that he was so sure that his eyes almost popped out of their sockets, "What the...!"

Sitting on top of him, Misao straddled him at the thighs and seductively ran a finger down his shirt, shocking Yahiko into silence. With one quick motion, she ripped the whole front, buttons flying everywhere in the process, exposing his bare chest.

"Holy shit!" Yahiko exclaimed, looking down at the ruined shirt, "What's the big idea with ripping my shirt?! I'm only renting this, you know! How the hell am I supposed to fix this when you.....!" His voice was muffled as Misao covered his mouth with her hand, putting a finger to his lips to silence him. 

"You wanna do this or not?" Misao asked, making sure if he was still up for it. If not, she would just have to go home with burning loins, "You want this done slow or you want it done right?!"

"I... erm... I...sure..." Yahiko stuttered, his voice cracking as he searched for something cool to say. 'How am I supposed to know what to say before gettin' it on?!' he thought frantically, 'Just nod your head and go through with it! Not like she's some kind of sex freak...'

"Good!" Misao exclaimed, and instantly she changed. Her eyes darkened in color, turning almost black as she sprawled her hands on his bare chest. "What's my name?"

Yahiko looked up at her, not quite understanding the question. He was sure that she had just asked him to tell her her own name, but he wasn't exactly positive if he heard her correctly.

"Huh?"

Misao slapped him across the face and Yahiko winced at the sudden impact, his hand flying to where she had hit him on the cheek. She shook him roughly before screaming at him.

"SAY MY NAME, BITCH!" Misao shouted at the top of her lungs and she plunged down to kiss him, but Yahiko rolled out from under her.

"Oh my God! You're a psycho! I'm outta here!" Yahiko shouted, running to the door with his tuxedo shirt still open. 

Misao rose up from the bed, not certain how he had managed to get out from her grasp. 'Probably one of those table and cloth tricks...' Misao thought to herself, 'Hey! Wait a minute! He's getting away!!!!' Running for the door, she pulled hastily at the knob only to discover Yahiko pulling on it on the other side.

Yahiko strained as he fought to keep the door closed, pulling with his entire body as a lead weight as Misao constantly tried to pry open the door. Finally, he spotted a chair nearby and he reached for it with one hand, the other still holding the door closed despite the desperate yanking from Misao. Taking hold of it by the arm, he dragged the chair over, placing it right under the door knob and he slowly eased his grip off it. It held in place, surprisingly enough, and he could hear Misao grunting inside as she still tried to open the door and go after him. Yahiko bounded down the stairs as fast as he could, leaving behind the crazed girl enclosed behind the, oh thank Heavens, strong door's hold.

Yahiko ran straight down the steps, bumping into someone as soon as he reached the bottom and they both fell over at the collision. Rubbing his butt, Yahiko shook his head to try and clear his mind of the blurred spots forming in his vision and his gaze fell on the person he had crashed heads with. Tsubame...

"Oh, I'm really sorry!" Yahiko apologized, standing up immediately to help her up, "Here, lemme help you. Sorry 'bout that... I wasn't really paying attention and then uh... yeah..." He made hand motions of how they hit each other, his hands smacking together in imitation and Tsubame stood up on her feet.

"Yeah, well, it happens..." Tsubame muttered, touching the temple of her forehead that seemed to have doubled in size and she first noticed Yahiko's shirt's condition, "What on earth happened to your shirt?!"

"Oh... this? Oh well, you see, my date went a little crazy and..." Yahiko started to explain, but he was silenced by a scream from upstairs that could have only been the very girl he had just mentioned.

"God damn it! Now I'm freakin' horny!!!" Misao shrieked and she whirled around, having finally given up on trying to open the door and she grabbed onto a jar on Kaoru's dresser top.

With one strong thrust, she heaved it out the window, glass shattering as it first went through the stain glass window and then crashed right into the flourescent light overlooking the garden. Sparks fell down from the light post, falling down on Sanosuke and Megumi outside, but the couple didn't seem to be aware of anything around them but each other. If an entire marching band passed them, Sanosuke would only hit a couple band members with his free hand if they came to arm's length, without even breaking contact with Megumi's mouth.

  
  


"Uh..." Yahiko shrugged, his eyes darting back in forth as he tried not to look suspicious, "Yeah... that would be the girl... You wanna get outta here? Like now?"

Tsubame laughed and she nodded her head, following Yahiko to his car so he could get away from his prom date that had so suddenly turned psychotic and extremely scary. Yahiko checked over his shoulder every few minutes, just to make sure that Misao wasn't following them with some sharp object, making Tsubame smile every time, thinking about just how crazy a girl had to be to make a grown man shake in his boots.

  
  


"Ow!" Kenshin exclaimed, rubbing his hand over the sore spot on his head, the overhead light swinging back and forth over the pool table after the bump of head to metal, "That thing should not be there, that it shouldn't!... Ouch! What the heck...!" 

Both Kenshin and Kaoru turned to where Kenshin's foot was, well, what you could see of it anyway. Half of it was stuck in one of the pool table holes in the corner. Kaoru, still underneath him, gave him a puzzled look as he struggled to get his foot out of the hole. Kicking a little bit with his other leg, he ended up kneeing Kaoru in the thigh.

"Ow!" Kaoru exclaimed in pain and Kenshin automatically apologized, but only half-heartedly. He turned his face away so that she wouldn't see him trying to hold back laughter. 

The predicament they were in was a very difficult one; Kenshin's foot was stuck in the pool table corner and he couldn't get it out, but neither wanted to stop what they were doing just because of one minor little set back. Looking from his foot to his face back to his foot, Kaoru frowned. 

"Well, what're we gonna do about this?" she asked him, "Maybe if you move like this then you could get it out..."

"Uh, Kaoru...?" Kenshin said, his eyes unnerving, "Which ahem one should I get out?"

Kaoru blushed furiously, not even realizing the double meaning to her words until he mentioned it.

"Your foot can't be stuck that bad..." Kaoru said, quickly changing the subject and she looked back at the heel of his foot that wasn't consumed in the hole, "I think the problem here is that uh... you and me being in the... uh.. position that we are... I can't really get out from under ahem you if you don't move first..."

That had to be one of the hardest things she ever had to say in her entire life! 'Oh, how embarrassing!' Kaoru thought, 'Now what're we gonna do? We couldn't possibly keep going if he's not exactly... fully functional...'

'God, I can't believe this is happening to me! Why me?!' Kenshin thought, his mind frantically searching for a solution to their problem, but he came up with none, 'Well, maybe if I move this way then... HEY! That felt pretty good... Wait! I forgot what I just did! I think I went like this... Yeah! That's it!'

"Whoa! Hey! What're you...!" Kaoru said, surprised at the new sensation as he tried to move again, "Oh wow... Where did you... Where'd you learn to do that?" Kaoru asked between gasps as he continued "trying to get his foot out" but in the process created just the right amount of movement to sinuate the feeling of his fingers inside of her.

"I... uh... learned it in a book once..." Kenshin replied, which wasn't a total lie. The Bible did have some tips and tricks about making sex more pleasurable, but it in no way mentioned getting your foot stuck in a pool table. As much as he enjoyed the regular feeling, it was still equally awkward and a little bit uncomfortable to only be able to move only part of his body. Every part of him was on fire, except for his foot of course that was actually beginning to ache with the friction against the corners of the table.

"Jesus!" Kenshin practically shouted in an agitated voice, struggling to remove his foot with a forceful pulling, "This has a good hold, that it does! Get off! I mean...! Out!" 

Giving one last and final yank, his foot was pried out of it's confinement and he toppled off the table, exiting Kaoru with one swift, but not at all comfortable movement. Landing on the hard ceramic floor, Kenshin yelped out in pain as he landed hard on his side with an exclaimed, "ORO!"

Kaoru would have laughed at him if she wasn't in so much pain herself. The forceful movement that he used to get his foot out of the table had also pulled her a little along with him as he fell off the table. She had been dragged a little bit until the physical connection between them was broken as they both hit the table's edge. 

Still lying on the pool table, she looked over the bordering end to see if he was alright. Kenshin was now seeing to his injured foot that was now an eerie shade of purple from it's lack of blood circulation and Kaoru figured that was just how a black eye would look like. Frowning at him, Kaoru sat up from the table, covering herself with the blanket they had found nearby and she offered a hand to help him back up. With an embarrassed smile, Kenshin blushed and reluctantly took her hand, making sure that he didn't stare at her too long. True, they had been about to have sex, but they had actually skipped all types of actually looking at each other as both were too shy to do so, let alone do anything that involved having to look. 

Trying his best to gain control over his wandering eyes, Kenshin turned away, stretching out his hand to take hers, but instead grabbed something else.

"Uh, Kenshin? I think you aimed a little too high..." Kaoru said, looking down at where he had accidently placed his hand on her breast. Jerking his hand away, Kenshin blushed brighter than his head of crimson hair. 

"You've never done this before, have you?" Kaoru asked, summing up her assumptions to the obvious conclusion that he was in fact, a virgin, just as she was. You could tell by the awkward way he presented himself and how he obviously had know idea what to do with his hands... or anything else for that matter, like he was actually supposed to be doing it all according to some sort of manual. Kaoru frowned at the thought of Kenshin thinking of her as a car engine. 

He was clueless as to what to do with well... everything! It wasn't like regular old inexperience things where he could just whistle, casually walk away and place his hands in his pockets. No, he didn't even have any pants on, let alone have any pockets to put his hands into.

"Oro?! Is it that obvious?" Kenshin asked, the familiar casual smile growing on his face, putting Kaoru at ease, at least a little bit. Besides the fact that he had no clothes on whatsoever, she found him immensely attractive, and he was standing there smiling at her; besides all that, she was pretty damn comfortable. Okay, okay, so pretty much, she was as awkward and mortified as he was, only she had something to cover herself with. 

"Yeah, actually, it is," Kaoru said, inwardly scolding herself at how she had no idea how to handle the situation, but to have casual chit chat with him. Her mind threatened to go berserk if she didn't think of something to do in the next few seconds and her mind raced to think of the most logical thing to do at this very moment. 

'Let's see... What would Mina, Megumi, and Tsubame do if they were in this situation?... Besides laugh their asses off? Hm...?' Kaoru thought and Kenshin eyed her suspiciously at the sudden pensive look that had taken hold of her face, 'They would... pounce on him or something... I think that's the word they used... Yeah! It was "pounced"! Well, here goes nothing...'

Grabbing him by the shoulders, Kenshin yelling out a shocked, "Oro!" for what seemed to about the eleventh time that evening as she pulled him back on her and kissed him with all she had.

Instantly, his wide eyes softened and he relaxed, kissing her back as sweetly as he knew how, which actually wasn't very well, but Kaoru didn't exactly have too many terms of comparison anyway so it didn't really matter. To the both of them, just the act of locking lips was total and complete bliss. But it wasn't enough. There was an ache, a tiny glitch in the whole ordeal that was not easily ignored. It was like a tiny buzzing sound in the back of their minds saying that there was so much more to it than this and they both yearned to do it. Shifting over, Kenshin found his way over to the middle of her thighs, questioning her with his steady violet gaze, and after her silent nod, Kenshin moved ever so slowly inside.

Electrifying. That's all Kaoru could describe it as. It was rejuvenating, ecstatic, amazing, but it was also, painful. Biting down on her lip to keep from crying out, Kaoru shut her eyes from the pain that shot through her entire body. The intense passion she had just encountered was now gone as a jolt of agonizing throbbing sizzled through her and tears shot to the corners of her eyes.

Seeing this, Kenshin immediately stopped, pausing to look at her, and a look of worry crossed over him. She was in pain, he knew, and he inwardly kicked himself.

"Are you alright?" he asked, the concern stitching through his words like the palpitating of his heart, "Do you want me to stop?" 

Waiting a few seconds for the rising ache to die down to the point that she could actually stand it, Kaoru shook her head, her eyes still closed as if even that slightest movement would inflict the twitch she felt. Really, she felt like she was being torn up from the inside-out, which wasn't exactly a lie, only a bit of an exaggeration. 

"I'll be fine..." Kaoru whispered, her breath catching in her throat as she made the horrible mistake of moving and she winced, "Just go slow..."

Kenshin nodded, not exactly sure if he should actually go through with the whole ritual with her in so much anguish. In a way, he felt it too, but it was a different kind of hurt, One that ran deeper into his heart and soul whenever she flinched at certain movements. He cursed himself if he ever slipped or pushed a bit too hard, but he still tried his best to keep it as smooth and slow as possible, for her sake. First it had all been in the heat of things, but it had all done a complete one-eighty on him. He cared too much for her and in truth, that scared him. He cared for her so much that he felt her pain as his own, like she was a part of him, like they weren't two different people. Kenshin found that he couldn't explain the connection between them, both physically and mentally, but he knew it was something bigger than he had ever felt in his entire life.

Kaoru managed to bite back a few screams of pain, but she couldn't help but feel bad for Kenshin. Every time she showed even the tiniest bit of woe, he would get a bit upset with himself. It wasn't his fault that it hurt, it was just how it was the first time, but he seemed to think that he could somehow prevent her from feeling harm. It made Kaoru glad that she hadn't given herself away during her whole eighteen years on this planet, and instead, saved it for when she felt she was ready and that the person she would give herself to was, indeed, someone she truly cared about.

Kenshin wasn't the most popular boy in school, he wasn't star of the football team, he didn't have a scholarship to some high and mighty college upstate, but he was the one and only person that was capable of capturing her heart. All waist-length-haired, purple-eyed, scar-faced, scrawny-bodied, five-foot-five of him. She was pleased that she had saved her virginity for that one special someone because she very much believed that Kenshin was worth the wait.

  
  


A/N: Aw... sappy lovey-dovey stuff.... This chapter hopefully made up for all the delay on K/K so I hope the fans liked this chapter! So, next up, the other couples will be well... you know... having sexual intercourse.... nah, that sounds too smart. I'll rephrase that to: they're gonna have sex! Yeah right, like you didn't see that one coming?! Haha! Please review and I'll update sooner! Bye!


	18. All In A Daze

Disclaimer: No suing! No suing! RK and American Pie aren't mine and neither is the TV show Friends which I took a few scenes from about the pool table. A big pat on the back for those of you that actually recognized it before I told you now!

  
  


Chapter 16:

"All in a Daze"

  
  


Somehow time and space had moved them to the bridge and Megumi found herself overlooking the lake near Saito's house (as soon as she came up for air from the grasp she had on Sanosuke's mouth, that is.) Stunned by the discreet adjustment, she looked from the sparkling lake to Sanosuke's glowing face and the memories all seemed to mesh together like the homemade mashed potato salad they served in the school cafeteria. Megumi gently brushed the questioning away of just how they got there, getting her mind off the specialty "gourmet" foods of their school, and she concentrated more on the marvelous thing Sanosuke was doing to her neck and collarbone with his tongue. 

The rest of the party was only a far off background in Megumi's mind, the sound of the music playing was barely audible to her ears even though it was on full blast. Everything seemed so far away and distant, like the night was shielding them from the rest of the world and pausing time itself so that the night would last forever. If there was anything in her mind at that moment, she had no clue what it was because her whole head was spinning and flooding with unknown and foreign emotions she had never felt before.

Sanosuke brought his mouth back to hers, getting hungry for mutual answer and the soft feeling of her lips. He had moved them to the bridge after the glass had shattered from the light post above them, but he didn't exactly remember how he went about doing it without breaking the contact between their mouths. 'It's all in the skill...' Sanosuke thought, boosting his own ego with compliments to his smooth moves. He smiled into the kiss, but immediately wiped it away when Megumi decided to take the next step and slip her tongue in his mouth to play with his, and suddenly the whole thing had become a serious matter. The kiss intensified by ten-fold, driving them both almost to the edge of insanity with the temptation to do what was becoming ever so yearned. 

The pounding of his heart moved like a locomotive train speeding down the tracks, going by at a fifty mile per minute rate. Only this time, the train was growing closer and closer to the station and the speed was becoming to him. He felt like nothing in the entire world could get between them now. (A/N: And I mean that literally, there was actually no room in-between their bodies.) Sanosuke and Megumi barely noticed the lights shining over the bridge as they dimmed out into a dark lighting, casting shadows along the wooden planks of the floor and creating the best possible mood for the situation. From the long shadows on the deck, you could make out every detail and movement they made, until of course, they got low to the ground to settle Megumi on her back. Both lost themselves in shared anxiety of their powerful fatal attraction as the two moved and acted on instinct to the rising seduction they both felt.

The rise and fall of Sanosuke's chest, slowed to a comfortable pace as he undid his clothing, not really giving a shit where he put them and he threw them off to the side somewhere, turning back to her only to find she was doing the same thing. Unlike Kenshin and Kaoru's situation, there were no awkward moments and no embarrassing ones either as both moved back to the original stance of her lying on her back. Sanosuke moved over her, kissing her gently, and she responded for only a few moments before she gently pushed him away, only to the point that their lips were only brushing against each others.

"If you don't have a condom, I'm gonna be very, and I mean, very, upset," Sanosuke said. Megumi smiled and without a word, slipped him one of the many she kept in her purse. He turned away to put it on, finding it to be a lot more difficult than it looked as he tried to get it on without a struggle. 

"Hey, Fox.. uh... we can't use this condom..." Sanosuke said and Megumi automatically bolted upright from where she had placed herself down on the blanket they had found on one of the lawn chairs. Her eyes looked bewildered and shocked, a little in-between wanting to cry or yell at him; Sanosuke hoped for neither.

"What do you mean we can't use it?!" Megumi demanded, somehow her voice becoming more infuriated than sad and her head tilted to the left, her eyes squinting a little bit, "You mean it's too big, not comfortable, you're allergic to latex, you ripped it, what? Oh! You want flavored ones? I got those..." Megumi turned over onto her stomach, pulling her bag in front of her face, turning it upside down so the contents would all fall out and about eight different condoms fluttered to the floor. Sanosuke stared wide eyed as Megumi picked through her tiny "collection" and she held them up one at a time, describing them as she did so. 

"Let's see... I got chocolate flavored, strawberry flavored, lubricated, non-lubricated, ribbed, not ribbed, green, and blue. Take your pick," Megumi said, laying them all out in front of him in a neat line.

"Holy shit, Fox! How many times were you planning on us having sex tonight?!" Sanosuke asked, staring at the abundance of rubbers laid out before him.

"Oh, no. These just all kind of add up, you know. You buy a couple different ones and save 'em up for the right occasions," Megumi explained, "now, which one you want?"

"Uh... whichever one is bigger than the last one you gave me," Sanosuke said, holding up the wrapper of the one he was incapable of using, "this one's too small." Megumi frowned.

"Huh? Too small?! Sano, that's the biggest size they sell in condoms! How on earth can it be too small! I mean, unless...," Megumi trailed off as the so-called 'problem' dawned on her, the problem that actually wasn't a problem at all. "Oh...." 

She quickly turned her head to hide her smile, leaving Sanosuke even more confused. He saw Megumi's hand go to cover her mouth to repress whooping for joy, but from his view, he thought she was crying and he had no idea why she was acting so strangely.

Biting her bottom lip, Megumi finally turned back around with a huge smile on her face, her head nodding in understanding. Looking from the defective condom to Sanosuke, back and forth a few times, she then threw the condom wrapper over her right shoulder. 

"Ohohoho! Look at the wind blow!" Megumi joked, tossing the wrapper in the air, "Oh well! They only get in the way anyways! Now where were we?" Throwing her arms around him, they both slowly moved back down onto the ground with no more complaints.

  
  


"That was really nice of you," Tsubame said, nudging him a bit in the ribs and she smiled, slowly making her way around the yard. Her eyes drifted to the ground and for a moment she stood still and waited for him to catch up.

From outside Saito's house, Yahiko took his hand off the power switch controls of Saito's lights, smiling to himself for a job well done. Wiping his hands together to dust them off, he nodded in satisfaction to his good deed. In a way, it was his way of making up for all the times he had interrupted Sanosuke and Megumi on their, as he said, "sappy, lovey-dovey sequences." He turned back to Tsubame, his dark bangs falling across his eyes, making them appear darker than how they were naturally, his expression looking sweet and at the same time extremely appealing.

Tsubame almost smacked herself on the forehead, forcing herself to snap out of her daze. There was something wrong with her. She didn't feel sick, well, okay, she did have a few beers, but that's besides the point. Anyway, she felt... nervous. 'Right... because Yahiko Myojin is someone that takes a lot of work to impress...' Tsubame thought sarcastically, not even noticing as Yahiko gave her a puzzled look, tilting his head sideways to try and read what she was thinking. 

'Well, this is it, I guess...' Tsubame thought to herself, a slow yet shaky smile crossing over her face and she quickly bit a nail or two, 'I'm finally alone with him... I can actually tell him how I feel about him now! God, I probably look like a complete idiot... Okay, on the count of three. One. Two. Three!'

"Yahiko, I..." Tsubame began, but was interrupted harshly by someone yelling at her from a nearby car in the driveway. Turning around, Tsubame spotted her mother, Tae, scolding at her from the window of her car, telling her to get over there now. 

"Tsubame!!!!" Tae screamed, her voice echoing like a fire truck's siren, "Get over here right this instant, young lady! You were supposed to help out at the Akabeko tonight, but you never showed up! And then I come here and find you at some wild party! And what are you doing with that boy?! Get over here right now or I'll come over there and drag you over! You hear me?! Tsubame! You are in so much trouble right now, why I'll never let you...!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!... Jeez," Tsubame said, rolling her eyes at her mother for embarrassing her and ruining her chance of telling Yahiko how she really felt about him. Turning back to Yahiko, she gave him a sheepish smile and a small shrug.

"I'm sorry, Yahiko, but I guess I have to go now. I hope you understand... It really was fun hanging with you though. I hope I see you sometime before college starts!" Tsubame said and she leaned over and gave him an innocent hug, even though her mind screamed at her to give him a kiss. 'This might be the last time you ever see him again! Just do it!' she encouraged herself, 'You know how much you're gonna regret it later! Okay, I'm gonna do it... I will. Here goes.'

Tsubame leaned forward, her eyes closed to mere slits, and she puckered her mouth to meet his. Yahiko watched this with wide eyes, wondering if she was going to faint or if she had somehow fallen asleep. He scratched his head in confusion and in that small moment of what Tsubame thought was hesitation, she withdrew. That was when Yahiko realized what she was really trying to do.

"Oh, Tsubame... I'm sorry, I thought you were gonna faint or something. I didn't know you were trying to..." Yahiko was cut off by Tsubame's mouth pressed up against his and after the most heated moment of Yahiko's life, Tsubame pulled away. "Uh.... I uh... that was.... er...I .. wow..."

"I'll see you, Yahiko," Tsubame said, cutting him off yet again, but not in the way she had last time that still had Yahiko speechless and she jogged towards her mother's car, "Bye!"

Yahiko watched as mother and daughter got into a verbal fight once Tsubame was inside, exchanging words in anger and many finger pointing and rolling eyes. Stepping away from the scene, Yahiko silently backed away before Tae realized that he was still there and decided to turn her anger to him as well. He didn't even look behind him as he moved backwards across the lawn, and his foot suddenly crunching down on a pile of raked leaves in the middle of the grass and he fell in a heap on top of them. 

Turning at the strange noise, Tae whirled around, pausing the argument with her irresponsible daughter to a halt as she narrowed her eyes at the boy she had seen Tsubame talking with earlier. Luckily, she hadn't seen the stolen kiss.

"You!" Tae yelled from the window and Yahiko scrambled to his feet, "Who are you and what were you doing with my daughter, huh?! I tell you, kids these days, all they ever think about or do is sex! I bet that's what you had in mind, wasn't it?! Or have you already done it?! That's it! You sick little pervert! Get over here so I can hit you with an umbrella!"

"Ahhhh!" Yahiko yelped, tripping over his own two feet in his hurry to get away from the outraged mom of the girl he lusted after. He fell about three times before he ran to the side of the house for protection. Yahiko had already been slapped, called a bitch, got his rented tuxedo shirt ripped, and had now tripped over a dozen times the whole day; he definitely wasn't up for being bashed on the head with an umbrella by an overprotective woman with extreme PMS. 

"Mom!!!!" Tsubame protested, pulling Tae back into the driver's seat, "Mom, just drive home, okay? We didn't do anything, we were just talking. Leave him alone, he didn't do anything to me! No! Put the umbrella down!"

Tae's arm lowered from it's position over her head, the umbrella was tossed into the back seat, as she grumbled about how it was Yahiko's lucky day that he was able to get out of harm's way fast enough. Turning the key in the ignition, Tae started up the car, putting her hand behind the head rest of the passenger seat to watch out for oncoming cars as she backed out of Saito's driveway.

  
  


Drawing back the curtain in his confinement of the house, Yahiko breathed a sigh of relief as the car vanished over the hill in the distance. Dropping his tight grip on the curtain's cloth, leaving nail markings on the sides. Realizing the indents, Yahiko looked around him for witnesses and in finding none, he began frantically trying to smooth out the edges with his hand. He rubbed his hand over the drapes in a smooth ironing motion, only less effective, a lot less effective. 

He barely heard the footsteps coming down the steps upstairs as they stopped short behind him and the person tapped their foot impatiently on the carpeted floor. Rousing suspicions of who it might be filled Yahiko's brain, but the conclusion was already made, stamped, and delivered.

Who else would be coming from upstairs, waiting for him with an attitude that reined over him like she was the empress herself. Gulping down the last bit of air he thought he would ever breathe, Yahiko cautiously turned around to face Misao Makimachi.

The tapping of her foot never ceased, her hands on her hips, and a disappointed frown on her face at his late timing. She shook her head, making disapproving clicking sounds with her tongue and she shook her index finger in front of his face.

"That was a very dumb idea to leave me alone like that," Misao said, her voice showing a hint of cruelty and Yahiko hoped her punishment was to kill him as fast as possible. A bullet to the head sounded pretty appealing to him right now and he would have loved nothing more then to have just stayed outside. He would have very much preferred to be beaten by Tsubame's mother with a million umbrellas than be here with the wrath of Misao weighing down on his shoulders.

Yahiko's shoulders sagged, giving in to whatever horrible penalty she was going to throw at him, or hit him with. 'There's no use...' Yahiko thought in defeat, 'I'm always gonna get hurt either way I go. It's all just a lose-lose situation...'

"Okay, alright, do what you gotta do," Yahiko replied, as he bent his head down low in front of her, shutting his eyes tightly closed as he waited for her to hit him upside his head or cut off a hand or two, but he was startled at her uproar of laughter.

"Hahahahahahahahahaha! What do you think I am? Some kind of animal?!" Misao asked, slapping her knee at the non-stop laughter that she couldn't control, "I'm not gonna hurt you! Not much anyway..."

"Huh?! Whoa! Hey! What do you think you're doing?!" Yahiko yelled as Misao began dragging him on the ground behind her, back up the stairs by the collar of his already torn shirt, his head hitting every little step that they passed on their way back up. "Ow, ow, ow, ow..."

Misao quickly pushed him down on the bed of Kaoru's room, back to where they had been before; Yahiko didn't even have time to react as she ran to the door to lock it and when she turned back around, her eyes had turned into eerie dark sparkling sapphires. She practically hopped on him, and Yahiko found himself in the original position he had been in earlier, but this time, he had no way of escaping.

"Now, let's try this again," Misao said, running her hands over his chest, "what is my name, Yahiko?"

This time around, Yahiko knew better than to question her and he opened his mouth to respond, knowing perfectly well how strong Misao was when she was happy and he wasn't up for finding out how hard she could hit if she were mad.

"Say my name, Bitch!" Misao screeched, slapping him again in the same exact place that she had before, this time much harder from his horrible memory of how she liked to get riled up before having sex.

"Misao!" Yahiko answered, more to scold her, but the girl on top of him smiled, her hand flying to the lamp to shut it off, but it shattered into a million pieces from her frantic thrashing. She broke many other objects that were in the room as she threw Yahiko around, slamming him into walls and then kissing him senseless.

Yahiko winced as his back hit the wall for about the fourth time, Misao jumping back on him seconds later, sending another shock wave pulsating through his veins as his back hit the wall again from the double impact. But in only a few throws, Yahiko had already gotten used to the pain and his body was now dulled from all her touching, or maybe I should say, clawing, of his body and the hard kisses she gave him. In a short amount of time, he didn't seem to care so much as to what she did to him. She could have burned a lit cigarette on his ass and he would've just thought she was being kinky. Maybe it was the beer talking, but Yahiko felt so immensely attracted and aroused by her at that moment, it wasn't even funny. There didn't seem to be anything left in the room that had not been vandalized or broken by Misao's insane actions. Yahiko didn't even have time to really respond to what she was doing, besides asking for more anyway. His thoughts were lost in a swamp of things he never felt before, sensations in places he never even knew he had! Of course, he had no idea what in the world he was doing back, but it didn't really matter anyhow since she seemed solely concentrated on just pleasing him, which wasn't at all a problem to Yahiko. His mind was swirling around like ice cream in a blender on frappe and by the time they were actually having sex, he had no idea what was going on.

  
  


A/N: Well, that's it for the sex scenes, sorry if they weren't as you know... for you, but now that there's a policy for NC-17 stuff, I can't really do any of that detail stuff you guys love. Anywhoo, sorry for the late update but I've been busy with school stuff so I didn't really have time. Please remember to review! Next up is the last chapter so... sniff, sniff Aw, God! runs out of room in tears Wahhhhhhhhh!


	19. To the Next Step

Disclaimer: I don't own American Pie or RK and I still don't know who does...

  
  


Chapter 17:

"To the Next Step"

  
  


The next thing Yahiko knew was that he was in Kaoru's room again, with a dry taste in his mouth and a splitting headache. The entire decor of the place was all shattered and broken, bed sheets and pillows were strewn all over the room, and he was lying on the bed completely stark naked. 

'How the hell did I end up here?' Yahiko thought, searching his eyes over his new found surroundings that all seemed to be a blur from the previous night, 'If Kaoru comes in and sees her room like this, she's gonna blame it all on me!... Wait, hold up a second! Where the hell is band camp girl?!' 

Immediately, he sat upright, wrapping the pink blanket around him to cover himself, and in doing so, he heard the tiny crinkling sound of paper in one of the crooks of the blanket seams. Curiously, he reached under the blanket and pulled out a letter addressed to him from the crazy band camp girl that was now nowhere in sight. Reading carefully, Yahiko strained against the morning sunlight coming through the window as he tried to form the jumble of letters into words that he could understand. It read:

  
  


Dear Bitch,

I had to take off. Probably won't see you 'cause I'll be at band camp. Hope I didn't hurt you too much last night... Be good.

Later,

Misao

P.S. Hope you had fun!

"She's gone," Yahiko stated, the obvious situation finally piecing itself together in his mind and he looked back down at the letter, and in reading it again, he realized something. "Oh my God, she used me... She just used me like I was some kind of slut... I was used... Cool!"

  
  


Sanosuke woke up to the scent of morning dew filling his nose and felt the steady breathing of Megumi's breath on his neck, her chest rising and falling as she inhaled and exhaled. Her face was facing his, only inches away and her long black hair fell softly over the sides of her cheeks and was spread all over the pillows like a mesh curtain. He lay there watching her sleep, not wanting to wake her and interrupt the moment of peace. Sanosuke brushed away the bangs that fell over her eyes, causing her to stir in her pleasant slumber. 

Megumi's eyes fluttered open before she finally opened up one eye to look at him, and a small smile crossed over her pale lips, now bare of their usual red paint. With a content sigh, she snuggled closer to him, nuzzling his cheek with her nose, and he leaned down and gave her a soft kiss on her shoulder. The night was over, but the memories were forever.

  
  


Saito rolled off his bed and groggily brushed the lengthy wisps of hair that had rebelled against his hair gel and fell into his face. After rubbing his eyes, he turned back around to find Tokio still asleep on the pillows, her lips slightly parted in somewhat of an unspoken whisper, and he smiled and covered her with a blanket before he made his way out of the room. As gently as he could, he creeped out into the hallway, still littered with people, either drunk or asleep, he couldn't tell. He stepped over at least a dozen sleeping couples in the hallway, wrapped in each other's arms and entangled legs, as he made his way over to the lounge room to get himself a bottle of wine to surprise Tokio with. Little did he know that he was about to get a surprise himself.

Saito gripped the doorknob to the lounge room where he had last seen his sister, Kaoru, enter and he wondered if she were still inside. Shrugging with a thought of, 'Who cares?' he twisted it and gave it a small push, but the door wouldn't budge.

"Why the hell is this door locked?!" Saito growled, rattling the doorknob again in his frustration and he gave the incorporative door a kick.

His eyes narrowed and his eyebrows creased together as the thought of someone using the lounge room as their bed was not making Saito very happy. He pushed again, harder this time, only to realize that there was something on the other side of the door blocking his way. Rolling his eyes, Saito backed up a few feet to give himself some distance, then charged the door with all his might, imagining Coach Hiko yelling at him to tackle it. 

Instantly, the door flew open, almost making Saito stumble to the ground, but he quickly regained his composure. It wouldn't be too great if anyone saw the great Hajime Saito trip and fall flat on his face. Saito scowled at the room he had just barged into, now in a complete and total wreck, and he almost tripped over a couple pool balls set carelessly on the floor. He continued searching the room, taking note of the damage of the lamps and a broken corner of one of the pool tables. 

'I'm gonna kill whoever decided to mess with this room,' Saito thought, keeping a mental threat in mind to pulverize the next person he saw most likely lurking in the corners. His golden eyes scanned the remainder of the lounge area, angrily gritting his teeth as he expected some punk guy and his girl to be sleeping behind the bar, but his eyed widened and his breath stopped short as he caught sight of the two culprits of the vandalism lying on the farthest pool table in the back corner of the room. And those two people so happened to be his sister and his worst enemy.

"Kaoru, where's the..? What the hell?! Kaoru?! SHIT-BREAK?!" Saito exclaimed, staring at the two on top of the table, Kaoru comfortably curled up next to Kenshin, still asleep, and Kenshin rubbed his weary eyes before smiling up at him.

"Oh! Hey Saito!" Kenshin said with a wave, grinning even wider at the astonished look on his arch enemy's face, and he scolded himself for not bringing a camera. 

The obvious events that had taken place the night before were as clear to Saito as broad daylight as he looked from Kenshin to his sister, smiling in her sleep and still wrapped in the red head's arms. Kenshin smiled, finally having the last laugh at catching Saito off guard, but at the same time, he was a little scared of just how he was going to react. His foot still ached from being caught in the pool table hole the night before so the odds were that he probably couldn't make a good run for it if Saito began chasing him out of the house or something. Besides, Kenshin wasn't up for streaking across town with a sore foot and the biggest hangover of the century with an infuriated captain of the lacrosse team at his heels.

The realization of what happened both shocked and appalled Saito, but more the first one. Saito's eyes almost popped out from their place in his sockets, but instead they settled on closing as he hit the floor with a loud thunk. Kenshin wasn't sure if he was supposed to laugh or get scared, but the decision soon became very unimportant as Kaoru opened her eyes and looked up into his face with curious blue eyes.

"What happened?" she asked, sitting up to give her back a little stretch and she yawned before settling back against him, "Um... why is my brother on the floor?"

"Well, I'm not exactly sure, that I'm not..." Kenshin declared, one slim but strong arm draped around her bare shoulders, "but I think he just fainted." 

  
  


It was about ten o'clock in the morning, a few hours after leaving the party, and Kenshin, Yahiko and Sanosuke were all back at the Akabeko, sitting around their usual table.

"So how'd your night go, Yahiko?" Kenshin asked, taking a bite out of his burger. He knew very well that it was a little early for burgers, in fact, he had told Sanosuke and Yahiko so, but it was the cheapest thing there and his stomach had been growling for the last half an hour so Kenshin took whatever he could.

Yahiko leaned back in his chair, propping his legs up on the other seats across from him as if he owned the entire restaurant, and cracked his neck. Ever since the party, Yahiko had strutted, not walked, wherever he went, he bragged, not talked, and he smirked instead of smiling. All were the opposite of Yahiko's personality. 

"Well, I was all up in that!" Yahiko boasted, creating sexual poses from his seat across from them and Sanosuke and Kenshin sweat dropped, "I was doing all this and moving like that. That girl just couldn't get enough of the Yahiko! I was everywhere at once, dude! Just like uh! Na na na na! Pelvic thrust!"

"Jesus, Yahiko! You don't have to paint a picture already!" Sanosuke objected, covering his eyes with his hands, "MY EYES! MY EYES!" 

"Shut up! That's not funny!" Yahiko shouted, kicking at Sanosuke as he and Kenshin burst out laughing at Sanosuke's unique imagination, "I'll have you know I was the shit last night! Yeah, that's right! Me! I am THE SHIT!"

"Okay, Yahiko, just keep telling yourself that," Kenshin mocked, patting Yahiko on the head as if he were some kind of puppy dog and Yahiko glared at him. (Yes, dogs can I have attitudes too!) Giving up on his bullshit story, Yahiko sighed and slumped low into his chair, crossing his arms over his chest with a big huff.

"Fine then, I won't tell you all the graphic details. You guys probably wouldn't get it anyway..." Yahiko said, turning his nose up and away from them to keep whatever was left of his dignity in place. 

"You don't remember what happened, huh?" Sanosuke asked with a grin and Yahiko's upturned nose fell down from it's superior height faster than a growing grass fire. 

"That's not the point! So uh... what about you, Kenshin?" Yahiko asked, turning the tables around to the red head, "How was Ugly in the sack, huh?"

"Oro?! Kaoru? She... that's none of your business, Yahiko, that it isn't," Kenshin stuttered, respecting his and Kaoru's private cough, cough sex life, or so-called anyway. He wasn't about to spill the details about his first time with Kaoru to an immature little, as Yahiko preferred to call himself, shit. Kenshin knew that Kaoru's personal life was exactly that; personal and her's. Yahiko had no business whatsoever in knowing what happened between them the night before and Kenshin wasn't exactly over ecstatic to tell him.

"You didn't get any, huh?" Yahiko concluded, raising his eyebrows at him, suddenly feeling somehow in a higher ranking than Kenshin was and he smiled.

"Whatever me and Kaoru did last night, you have no right to know, that you don't," he said again. The one thing Kenshin hated most was people that didn't know when to just drop the subject and right now, Yahiko was doing one hell of a job in pissing Kenshin off.

"Okay, whatever," Yahiko said, putting his hands up in surrender, showing Kenshin that he was getting off his back about the subject and he turned to Sanosuke, "and what happened with you and Megumi, Sano? That vocal jazz shit pay off or what?"

"I'm not saying anything," Sanosuke said as he got up from his seat, "I'll be right back. I gotta go to the little boy's room. Good luck remembering what happened last night, Yahiko."

Yahiko growled, growing steadily impatient with the fact that Sanosuke had insulted more than his fair share of times this morning, but what made it worse was that he was right. Grumbling under his breath, Yahiko's eyes suddenly fell on something black and sparkly that fell out from Sanosuke's back pocket when he got up, and he instantly grabbed it off the seat. 

Releasing his grip on the object, he opened up his palm to find a lacy black thong with silver rhinestones on the front. 'Whoa! Sweet!' Yahiko thought as he examined the sexy lingerie, turning it over and over in his hands. The flushing of a toilet was heard coming from the men's room and Yahiko grinned up at Sanosuke as he came back to the table, suspicions rising as he sat back down.

"Forget something, Sano?" Yahiko asked, dangling the black underwear in front of his face and causing him to blush a deep red, either that or he was red from anger, Yahiko wasn't sure which, but he was hoping it was the first one.

"Gimme that!" Sanosuke shouted, grabbing for Megumi's undergarments, but Yahiko was too quick. He threw his arm back away from Sanosuke's reach and unconsciously waved it in front of Kenshin's nose, practically smothering him with the black lace. 

Kenshin turned bright red as the thong hung in front of his face brushed up against his cheeks and he shouted out an exaggerated, "ORO?!"

"Whoops! Sorry about that, Kenshin," Yahiko apologized with a laugh, sheepishly pulling it out of his face. Kenshin sat completely stiff and unmoving until the underwear was removed from in front of his view and when it was finally back in the confinement of well... somewhere else beside in front of him, he breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Hey! I know this thong! Victoria's Secret, June 2001, on page 24. This comes in black, red, blue and ..." Yahiko trailed off at the stares he received from his two friends, both their eyebrows raised, and a weird sideways glance in his direction made Yahiko shut his mouth. Then, he just shrugged. His friends already knew he was a pervert and that he insisted on jacking off every hour or so, so all in all, it didn't really matter if he knew a little too much about bras and panties so he continued talking. "Well, Sanosuke, at least your girlfriend has some style. These are pretty expensive underwear and if she got the garter and bra to go with it, then you got yourself one kinky little..."

Yahiko didn't even get to finish his sentence as Sanosuke threw the Bible at him, smacking him right on the forehead and sending the book flying out the door. It landed smack dab in the middle of a nearby garbage can outside, just as Chou was strolling by. 

He was less arrogant in his walk now, no more bouncing, but still as casual as possible. Chou didn't want anybody from school seeing him, not after his little wee-wee accident, so he had put on sunglasses and a baseball cap to disguise himself before heading out that morning. He whistled as he walked, strolling past the garbage can outside the Akabeko when something inside it caught his eye. 

Going over to take a closer look, Chou grabbed the book into his hands, the page already opened up to a picture of the female anatomy and his eyes widened as he turned the pages. One after another, the pictures became more vivid and Chou's interest only became greater. At the sound of female voices approaching, he grabbed the book, tucked it under his arm, and fled from the scene, running down a back alley to put the arousing pictures to good use.

"So you guys wanna stop at the Akabeko and grab something to eat?" Kaoru asked her friends all around her. They consisted of the usual group of Mina, Megumi, and Tsubame. They all nodded in unison and took a seat outside the restaurant at a nice bench under the shade of a big oak tree.

"So how was your night, Tsubame?" Kaoru asked, looking up from the menu to glance at her friend as Tsubame drummed her nails against the table top in boredom.

"Horrible," she replied bluntly, "I was at the party when my mom came and screamed at me for not going to work that night. She ended up yelling at Yahiko too. Then she took me back here to work my shift. You wouldn't believe how many people came in that night! Eh, I'm still exhausted..."

"That sucks. What about you, Megumi?" Kaoru asked, trying to get out some juicy details from her friends' nights so that she could compare and contrast. She wanted to tell them about her experience story last, that way they could all be surprised to hear that their little virgin friend, Kaoru, was actually not a virgin anymore. But the way Kaoru kept smiling all morning was kind of a dead giveaway of what she had chosen as a past time at the party.

"Well, let's just say... it was a whole lot bigger than a tootsie pop," Megumi said with a wink, her fox ears popping out from the sides of her head and everyone burst out laughing. 

"Okay, I think that's enough details right there," Kaoru said after she had gotten over her laughter, "How was your prom night, Mina?"

Mina stiffened at the mention of last night and the memory of waking up with no one beside her, but a measly old mop. She had such a bad hangover right now that she actually couldn't even remember if she did anything with anyone or not. The only thing she remembered was trying to seduce Kenshin, but he was nowhere to be found in the morning. 

Frowning at the thought of him ditching her in the middle of the night, Mina didn't even bother answering Kaoru's question, and she just turned away in disinterest. Everyone knew better then to prod when Mina's eyes became a glowing gold so they left her alone and just concluded from her lack of enthusiasm that Mina's night obviously didn't go very well. Clearing her throat as to get off the subject, Kaoru smiled.

"I have something to tell you all," she began, obviously proud of herself and she held her head high while straightening up in her seat, "I... am no longer a virgin."

"Hey Kaoru! Fancy meeting you here, that it is!" Kenshin exclaimed as he saw her from the doorway of the Akabeko on his way out and making his way over to her, he didn't even notice the invisible knives Mina imagining going through his head.

"Oh, hey Kenshin!" Kaoru said back just as enthusiastically and she turned to her friends with a look as if to say, 'This is the guy!' and she faced him again with a dazzling smile.

"Oh, man! Ugly's here? And my day was going so well..." Yahiko groaned as he and Sanosuke walked out of the Akabeko's entrance behind their rurouni friend. Yahiko smacked himself on the forehead as he complained again, but Kaoru paid no attention to him as her gaze was still on the short, red haired man in front of her. 

Her gaze looked far off and had a dreamy look to them, all glazed over but still not able to hide the constant sparkle. The same was seen in Kenshin's violet gaze and the couple stared, unmoving, as if in trance. Yahiko scratched his head in confusion, wondering what had gotten into them, and he began waving a hand in front of their faces to grab their attention, but they didn't seem to notice him. That or they were just plain ignoring him.

"Hey Fox!" Sanosuke greeted Megumi, sliding into the seat next to her, "Miss me?"

"It's been two hours, Sanosuke!" Megumi stated, throwing her arms in the air at his over- confident thinking.

"Aha! So you've been keeping track then, eh?" he asked as he put his arm around her, making Megumi roll her eyes, but her smile was still there. "Come on, you know you were!"

"I know I wasn't the only one," she replied, looking down at her nails like they were the most interesting thing in the world, but she gave a sideways glance to Sanosuke, as she tried to stifle her usual, 'Ohohoho!' 

"cough, cough Tootsie Pop cough, cough" Mina said, with her hand covering her mouth, causing Tsubame to burst into a fit of giggles, and Megumi gave her a warning look.

"Well, if this is what life is like after high school, I can't wait until our first year after college!" Yahiko exclaimed, finally taking a seat next to Tsubame, and he lifted his soda cup in the air for a toast, "To the next step."

"To the next step," Sanosuke and Megumi were able to breathe out as they let go from their ongoing lip lock, but went back to it as soon as the words were out.

"To the next step," Tsubame said, lifting her cup in the air.

"To the next step," Mina grumbled, still glaring at Kenshin for "leaving her" last night and she imagined pouring her soda over his head and then hitting him with the mop he had put in his place. The thought made her smile.

"To the next step," Kenshin and Kaoru whispered, absentmindedly lifting up their cups towards Yahiko, eye contact never breaking from each others, and not even noticing as they almost spilled their drinks from the way they were holding them. And as soon as they finished toasting, or what was supposed to be toasting anyway, they dropped their cups to the floor and embraced.

"Whoa, dude! Orgy time! Yeah, let's all get naked!" Yahiko announced, standing up from where he sat and everyone around at the time turned around, putting their fingers to their lips to shush him and pointed at the two couples. "Huh?" 

Finally realizing that Mina and Tsubame had made their leave a long time ago, Yahiko threw his arms up in the air in defeat and walked away, heading home to wack off for the sixth time already today.

Kenshin and Kaoru finally broke apart, smiling at each other for a few brief moments, thinking all the while that there was nothing in the world they'd rather be than there. Sanosuke and Megumi pulled apart with a big smacking sound, sitting still, next to the other couple in complete and utter content silence until an angry shout ripped through the comfortable soundlessness.

"SHIT-BREAK! GET YOUR ASS AWAY FROM MY SISTER!" Saito shrieked, waving his lacrosse stick over his head as he ran in their direction, spinning it like a helicopter above him with flailing arms, "AND YOU, MORON! YOU BROKE MY GOD DAMN LAMP! GET YOUR ASSES OVER HERE!"

"Run for it!" Kenshin shouted and all four of them ran off in the opposite direction of the psychotic Saito, ready to decapitate them all with the swinging lacrosse stick as he chased after them down the streets of Tokyo, waking up the entire town with their eternal racket. Yeah, to the next step was actually going to be a whole lot easier to take if you're being chased...

  
  


Author's Notes: Well, this marks the end of my story... sniff, sniff It was fun writing this and I hope you all had fun reading! No sad faces though because as you all should know, there is a sequel to American Pie the movie and so.... I have a sequel to that movie too! Japanese Pie 2 will be up as soon as possible so if you want it, you better request it! I'll only make it if the amount of reviews saying you guys want more is pretty good, otherwise... this is the end. But if I don't start up on Japanese Pie 2 ASAP, I'll be working on some other fics. 'Til next time! Buh bai! 


	20. Extras

Extras:  
  


A/N: These are just side notes of interesting facts from the story and a couple things that I didn't write and might need an explanation for. In other words, kind of like liner notes! Some of them are funny and some are just interesting. Enjoy!

-Coach Hiko says the phrase, "god damn" about thirty-five times throughout the story.

-Kenshin says/ thinks his catch phrase, "Oro," about thirty-four times in the whole story.

-Yahiko gets at least one embarrassment in every single chapter and he also gets hurt in some way or another in every chapter as well, whether it be tripping or being hit, he gets some damage done to him. Hehe...

-Misao tells Yahiko about band camp about twenty-seven times.

-Megumi actually has a collection of condoms in her room, it's just she couldn't fit all forty-five different kinds in her purse for prom.

-Kenshin used to be on the lacrosse team earlier in the year, but he quit due to vigorous scoldings from Coach Hiko and being called a stupid juvenile delinquent.

-Mina has had sex with practically every guy in Jinchuu High, except for the main people that include: Kenshin, Yahiko, Sanosuke, the Chou-inator, and Saito. 

-Shishio is Yumi's on/off boyfriend and has been for their entire high school career. People just don't really acknowledge them as a couple anymore since he stabbed through her new shirt to get his fork into a piece of meatloaf on some else's plate during lunch. Yes, meatloaf... Shishio is also known to bite people.

-Yumi has an obsession with porn, especially ones involving women and that's why she is so interested in Yahiko's collection of dirty magazines. And when I say "dirty," I mean, dirty!

-Kanryu was Megumi's abusive ex-boyfriend from sophomore year, but he was expelled for handling illegal drugs, mostly Opium. Megumi had since failed to have a boyfriend since then, until Sanosuke that is.

-Okina is 69 years old (pun intended) and just as perverted as his grandson, Yahiko. He likes to spend his time watching pornographic movies on TV and picking up on women that areway out of his league. I guess it runs in the family...

-Saito sold his recorded CDs of Yahiko and Yumi on the internet in the school cafeteria the next day for about seventy yen per CD. He made plenty of money that day... ^_^

-Soujiro is usually happy and smiling, but the fact that he wasn't able to do the duet made him go completely crazy and is now currently taking up time in Tokyo Asylum in the rubber room. He remains as happy as a clam. He still likes to practice his voice in there... and he still can't remember all the words to the song.

-Kaoru keeps the Bible of our Generation throughout her entire life. She never returned it to Mina and Mina is still requesting that she give it back.

-Yumi's parents found the footage of Yumi and Yahiko on the internet and became extremely outraged. They immediately insisted that they move to Kyoto to avoid being humiliated, but it seems that the footage was forwarded through e-mail to Kyoto as well. No one knows where they moved after that.

-It is now well known to all guys that come into the Akabeko that if they hit on Tsubame, they will be pulverized by Tae with a huge umbrella. Tae only does this when Tsubame isn't around to see it. 

-Yahiko interrupted Sanosuke and Megumi three times in the story, but he made up for it in the end when he turned down the lights to the bridge in Saito's backyard after prom so they could have one of those "sappy, lovey-dovey, sequences."

-Saito purposely set out numerous blankets around in his house for the prom night party because the sly devil knew what everyone was planning on doing that night.

-I know I left out the graduation ceremony, but just so you know, they all graduated! Yay!

-Please take special note that no apple pies were harmed in the making of this story.

  
  


Coming soon to a fanfic website near you (i.e. www.fanfic.net) "Japanese Pie 2!" It goes along with the American Pie 2 movie, but also has a few twists that are my own original ideas. Here is a preview of what will be up and running soon enough.  
  


Japanese Pie 2 Preview:  
  


Kenshin and Sanosuke exchanged worried glances. They both knew just how low Yahiko's tolerance of alcohol was and he was now, undoubtedly, smashed. So smashed even, they were sure he had no idea where he was. They watched him as he swaggered over to them, trying to pick up his luggage, but missing by a mile, and he tripped over an imaginary kink in the rug. Sanosuke and Kenshin winced as he hit the floor, but in no way moved to help him. Yahiko got weird when he was drunk. Why last time there was even a big contemplation of what sex Yahiko was really interested in... Let's not go into detail about that though... Sanosuke and Kenshin stood their ground as he got back up and wandered over to them. They were ready for anything.

"Dudes, I just wanted to say that hiccup I love you guys!" Except that.

"You all rock! hiccup And you know what?!" Yahiko slurred, stumbling about as he tried his best to stand erect (he failed miserably by the way). "Tsubame's coming back to Tokyo in a month! hiccup And she wants to get it on with me... And that's a hiccup big problem 'cause I'm lousy in bed! hiccup" 

"Yahiko, how could you possibly know that?" Kenshin asked, the idea of knowing your own martial status in the bedroom sounding quite impossible to him, "I think you are just too drunk right now, Yahiko. You're just not thinking too clear, that you aren't."

"Well, you know, there's only one person that actually knows just how bad you are," Sanosuke said, taking a seat in the soft leather couch, "So where is Misao this summer anyway?"

"Well, I'm not positive, but I think I have a pretty good idea..." Yahiko said, plopping down in the seat next to him, champagne bottle still in hand, "I've tried talking to her though, but I never got a hold of her after prom. hiccup"

"Come on, Yahiko," Sanosuke said, getting up from his seat and then helping his drunken friend to his feet, "I'll drive you over to East Falls band camp."

~To be continued~  
  
  
  


A/N: I just wanted to thank everyone that has been reviewing and reading, it was fun hearing what you all said in your reviews and I enjoyed entertaining you all with the story! See ya later! ~KitKat


End file.
